Reviews for we can try to breathe together
RPG Girl chapter 1 . 2/4/2014
Hey there! Found your request for a story review on The Reviews Lounge, Too!

Your story is very well written! :)

Interesting choice of characters.. I take it they're young adults, then? I would never have figured Petunia would have gone out and seeked Severus. Kind of a cool idea..

Keep up the good work! :)
MuggleCreator chapter 1 . 5/26/2013
Oh the poor things...
ThinkTwice123 chapter 1 . 5/17/2013
That was very nicely written. Severous deserves some love. However I would have liked it more if you had mentioned the guilt he must have felt after Lily's death.
ArmYourself chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
When I started reading, I was skeptical. There are not many people who manage to present to sound good in the stories and I doubted that you had managed to keep it in the present day through the whole text and not changed by half. But I must have potential, do not waste it.
Emily Mae chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
This was really interesting. I've never considered the parallels between Petunia's relationship with Lily and Snape's, mostly because Petunia kind of hated Lily and Snape was in love with her. But when you lay it out like this, it seems so obvious that they would have felt similar feelings, not to mention SECRET feelings, upon her death. Words left unsaid, all that. Really interesting idea for a story. I approve.

And as an aside, I love your disclaimer! One of the funniest I've seen and so true.
revolution rae chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
GAH. I can't even tell you how much I adored this. You literally got me to try and explain to my brother why I was sitting at the computer going, "Oh no!" So kudos to you. I think you're right, by the way, about the run-ons/fragments style working best in this fic.

Rae
Anna M chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
A nice story about the similarities of their feelings. I like that you let Petunia comfort Severus.
whitehound chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
Lovely - your style is perfect.

Btw, you've got a *tiny* Britpick. A "yard" here is something with a solid floor - earth or concrete or paving stones. The Dursleys have a growing lawn so they have a garden, not a yard. The only time the two terms overlap is in the case of a "courtyard garden", which is a small, paved yard with plants in big pots.
AfraidOfFalling chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
Oh, no, the "wacky writing style" of which you speak is utterly perfect. Beautiful. A very good representation of the characters, and quite poignant. Well done!
Wendy Brune chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
Wow, this was really good. First, I really enjoy how you showed us so much about these two characters in so few words. You didn't dither and prater on about it, but rather showed us how in love Snape was with Lily through his reaction, or how deep the bonds went between Petunia and Lily.

I also LOVE your writing style here. The run-on sentences are perfect because the show the rush and emotion of the characters' words and thoughts in their moments of grief. The same effect was reached through your lack of quotations and clear-cut quotes. I felt confused and rushed through this story, but in a good way; it helped me better feel what the characters were feeling.

The only thing I would have liked to seen different would be how Petunia went from a grieving sister to the terrible aunt she was to Harry. I suppose this could be a moment of grief before she steeled herself against it, but I felt a little unsure of the connection between this Petunia and the Petunia we see in the books.

Overall this was a wonderful story, one that I would recommend to pretty much anyone. If it doesn't get many reviews, I am definitely adding it to the archive. Wonderful work!
duj chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
touching and real. Well done. But how did this Petunia become the one who brought Harry up in a cupboard?