Reviews for Keeping Secrets
excessivelyperky chapter 7 . 12/31/2011
"I hardly think getting my hands dirty will bring in enough to…"

"You work or you do not go." Kendra said tersely.

-Yes, Albus is always favored wherever he goes. One has to wonder if he tried to crush Tom Riddle because the boy reminded him of Headmaster Black (and later tried to crush Snape because the boy reminded him of Tom).

I wonder what Elphias thought of Albus's crush on Gellert?

And so Albus leaves his family to future glory, trying really hard to pretend they don't exist because they're Not Our Kind, Dear. It would have been better to be honest and have less to hide, but he's not ready for that yet.

Poor Kendra, and poor Aberforth, and Ariana, who are left behind.

Wonderful story, extremely well done.
excessivelyperky chapter 6 . 11/6/2011
Brilliant chapter. How hard for Kendra, and how hard for both boys, too. And yes, how hard for Ariana, who is gradually losing everyone she knows.

No wonder Albus overachieved at Hogwarts; that school was his freedom, his place to shine. And no wonder Aberforth did not; he felt, no doubt, that he was Ariana's one link to the world.

Now Kendra is having to carry it all at once, with no support whatsover.
excessivelyperky chapter 5 . 9/17/2011
Actually, I can think of several interesting spells which are _not_ Unforgivables which would have gained Percival his revenge, and if handled deftly enough, kept him out of prison.

But it's clear he stopped thinking rationally the moment that Ariana was hurt. And it's also quite clear that he still blames Kendra for leaving her alone.

Good chapter.
excessivelyperky chapter 4 . 9/15/2011
Very good chapter. What happened to Ariana was horrible, and since Percival thought she hung the moon and stars, his revenge was probably inevitable.

But why not St. Mungo's? Why not find out what help is available for Ariana?

But then, there probably isn't much; the WW never seems to know what to do about mental illness or brain damage (like, the Longbottoms). Yet, with Ariana a child, they would likely see parental custody as the best if they can't actually do anything.

Again, well done.
excessivelyperky chapter 3 . 9/3/2011
Great chapter. We see that Albus was raised with so much love that he probably couldn't imagine another child in a different kind of family. He's clearly resentful of his brother taking his place, too

I love how you show the relationship between Kendra and Percival, and how different the boarding schools for Native Americans were from any kind of loving life
excessivelyperky chapter 2 . 8/11/2011
"Merlin, take her to your bed, but don't marry the witch."

-Ah, the old double standard again, and not just from blood status, but social class. I'm glad that Percival decided to do so anyway, and that Kendra feels better having brought _some_ kind of dowry to the marriage.

The rest of the chapter is utterly magnificent; the wedding night, the _real_ wedding night, and the pregnancy that is Albus Dumbledore yet to be.

Very well done.
excessivelyperky chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
Extremely good chapter, and a great beginning. Kendra and Percival will obviously have a long history together, but I enjoy seeing them from the start.

Well done.
Bardess of Avon chapter 7 . 11/21/2010
I went in search of Ariana Dumbledore fics on a whim today and found this, and I am very glad I did. I don't think I've ever seen Percival and Kendra's story written out before, and I thought your version of events was marvelous; you always have to wonder about the American wizarding world. There were also some very lovely references to the future here; the hickey on Albus's neck, the fact that he bought himself loads of socks.

All in all, a very brilliant fanfic that filled in some gaping blanks very nicely. Adding to my favorites!
Josh chapter 7 . 11/9/2010
I really liked the story, however in the middle it seemed a little bit dry. However it picked back up nicely. Also in the middle of The Final Secret it got stagnant.
Il'Diko chapter 7 . 9/12/2010
It's certanly a great chap to end this story! Loved the final secret, altough I never thought Doge and Albus to be lovers... And I never thought that Kendra would get to know about it...

You captured the arrogance of the youth very well, also the feeling of "allmightyness", and "know-it-all-ness" (I know it's not a word...:). You really can put yourself in the character, it's all very believable.

I loved how Kendra didn't give up on her son, she accepted him, altough it was very hard for her to do so. She was one great woman.

The last lines were very well done, and very tragic (I think you wanted to write here Ariana and not Kendra: "Kendra saw the radiating light that came unbidden from Kendra's hand and saw the look of incomprehension on the child's face"...).

I'm sad, that it's over.
Il'Diko chapter 6 . 9/4/2010
Your Albus portrayal is the best... I can see the 'two identities' who try to beat the another, you have done that brilliantly. I hope you are going to follow their lifes till the end, I would love to see old Albus and Aberforth having a conversation...

Oooh, and are you going to include Grindelwald too?

Can't wait to read more.
Ysolt chapter 5 . 8/29/2010
Wow... this story is very powerful. I loved it; the characterization was spot on. You're very talented with portraying pain and anguish, and every other emotion I can think of.
Il'Diko chapter 5 . 8/9/2010
Incredibly well done. The almost rape scene was hard to read, you did it very well. My hearth broke for them.

Is there more to come? ;)
Il'Diko chapter 4 . 8/1/2010
Oh God, this was a chap full of emotions... :( I'm so sorry for them, a family got ruined.

You have done it well though, very believable! Loved how you developed the characteristics of the chidren, Albus was done greatly.
ToManyLetters chapter 1 . 7/31/2010
This was a very well-written chapter. The narration is natural and actually aids the story and the dialogue keeps everything moving nicely. Well done. -D

Typos/other stuffs:

chid - You probably intended to put 'child'.

"That, or a tonic to give the babe what it needs but is lacking may be given." This sentence feels quite clumsy.

I also dislike the whole 'living in America' bit...
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