|Reviews for Luminosity|
| OTPwanderer chapter 57 . 10/15/2017
Awesome. Pure genius. Words can't sufficiently describe it's brilliance. Kudos to you! 3
| Bei chapter 8 . 9/8/2017
This story deserves more reviews! Why only 400 something?!
| nessiesmith2012 chapter 57 . 7/27/2017
Why is it the one good fanfic with a strong, smart and tad ambitious bella she has to fuck every thing up? Come on I think you should have alt ending or something, ik life isnt sunshine and rainbows all the time but damn.
| Cullenpotterjackson18 chapter 57 . 4/29/2017
Edward! Alice!T_T NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
| Funnyach chapter 57 . 2/24/2017
I realise I'm kinda late to the party, but I just couldn't leave without giving my own to cents. I hope you still read the reviews on , even though the feedback to this particular story probably doesn't matter all that much to you anymore.
For my review:
I found this story on the hpmor subreddit. I was going in with high expectations which were immediately met by your writing style and the plot in the first few chapters. Though I felt like the rationality part became less and less prominent over the course of the story, it still got me hooked enough in the beginning to continue all the way to the end. Good job on that part - you're very skilled at inducing the 'just one more chapter' cycle.
Trying to review a 200k word story in a 500 review I will just say that I really like the way you write looking purely at the style. Unfortunately I can't say quite the same about the plot.
Now, I can't say I went in without a fair warning - you did mention that the story would stray far off the original path of the books, and I was of course expecting that.
The problem was the way you tried to incorporate plotpoints from the original story into your own. I don't generally think that's a bad thing to do, I actually quite like it, but it's a difficult thing to do properly.
One example: Renesmee's, or rather, Elspeths existence. It felt artificial, like she was put into the story because you wanted her in there, not because the plot naturally lead up to it.
You wrote your own story that tried to go along with the books but also go down a completely different path, ending with an ucalled for super-disaster that didn't fit into the rest of the story.
Usually I'm not one to dislike a sad ending to a good story, but not in this way.
"There doesn't have to be a good way to solve this situation." Though that is perfectly fine reasoning, it doesn't make it a good way to set up for your sequel with a bunch of random drama and a non-conclusive ending.
All-in-all though, I liked the story up to the last 4 chapters. I probably won't read the sequel though, there is simply nothing left in that world that would keep me reading.
PS: I'm sorry if I went overboard with the subjectivity. I'm usually not good at that - add to that my sincere sadness caused by the ending and the fact that I'm awake for 30h now and you get this review. Everything I wrote is sincere, just a little bit... overstuffed with my personality.
| Vaughn Tyler chapter 57 . 2/4/2017
| Mansdas2 chapter 57 . 12/4/2016
Wow, I did not see that coming. I'm literally stumped right now.
| Catox chapter 57 . 9/16/2016
I found this story in the the HPMOR subreddit, had a lot of pleasure reading it, until at some point things started to shift and then to go really strange and to finally end actually wrong.
I didn't realize it at the time, but the first clue of things not going right was when Alice wasn't able to track Bella. I mean, it's really okay that the wolves are shielded against her power, but once Alice realized that Bella's immunity wasn't consistent, she should have been able to track down her last knowable position : "oh, I don't see her in 2 hours, let's get a look at in 1 hour ..."
The dramatic consequences that follow kind of make sense, but are thrown at us in a way that feel so rushed... I was still expecting Bella to wake up from a very long nightmare when, oh, "the end" ?
Bella stops actually being rational, the story stops being rational when it makes her randomly meet her daughter right after randomly meeting Jasper (or when Alice is killed for no apparent reason)
... I don't know... it's like something happen with the very writing of the story... But maybe those things get an explanation in the next part... I hope :/
(note that overall I had a good time, though)
| Belthezzor chapter 8 . 7/15/2016
Uh, given that vampires have to kept secret, why would Bella be WRITING IT DOWN. Lmao. Notebooks can be stolen, forgotten or lost, and if it is hers, then that would invite inquiries about the Cullens.
| Guest chapter 45 . 6/10/2016
And they became mates or something. Or singer?
| cherrishish chapter 14 . 5/23/2016
You categorically write "baldly" every time you mean "boldly". It's a bit funny sometimes :D
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/13/2016
I like how you write Bella's personality here. She is very good at understanding socializing among people, and how to act and compose herself.
She is serious but have some sprinkles of funny cute commentaries.
| the froggy ninja chapter 29 . 2/25/2016
BULLSHIT! Pror to 1939 engagement rings were super rare and almost never contained diamonds. Otherwise, good fic.
| tatewaki2000 chapter 27 . 11/30/2015
| Sara chapter 46 . 8/27/2015
So I gave your story a fair chance given how I disliked Bella being a coward and not willing to die for her father. The story didn't mention it again and I was mildly hopeful but she didn't improve, then you threw in a lesbian and try to use this story as a means of normalizing that disgusting lifestyle (a lifestyle that isn't even mentioned in the books thank God.) I like to read stories not so called "politically correct" gay sermons. I hate the fact that you didn't give any kind of slash/Yuri pair warning.
Congrats your one of the few authors that have genuinely enraged me
Consider anything you write from now on passed up. And I will gladly advise my friends who, along with myself, belong to a fanfiction reading club to pass you up as well.
Thanks for nothing, worst wishes, and I wouldn't care if your account on fanfiction was hacked and it died a horrible horrible death.