|Reviews for Luminosity|
| Sara chapter 46 . 8/27
So I gave your story a fair chance given how I disliked Bella being a coward and not willing to die for her father. The story didn't mention it again and I was mildly hopeful but she didn't improve, then you threw in a lesbian and try to use this story as a means of normalizing that disgusting lifestyle (a lifestyle that isn't even mentioned in the books thank God.) I like to read stories not so called "politically correct" gay sermons. I hate the fact that you didn't give any kind of slash/Yuri pair warning.
Congrats your one of the few authors that have genuinely enraged me
Consider anything you write from now on passed up. And I will gladly advise my friends who, along with myself, belong to a fanfiction reading club to pass you up as well.
Thanks for nothing, worst wishes, and I wouldn't care if your account on fanfiction was hacked and it died a horrible horrible death.
| Sara chapter 23 . 8/27
Just when I really liked your Bella you had to go and make her someone I hate, a coward. The sentence when she says that she wouldn't die for her father really bugs me for the simple reason that if she isn't willing to sacrifice everything for a person she loves then she does not deserve that person in her life at all.
Rationally I know that no writer can make a universally likable protagonist, this does not mean that their likability isn't important. Its actually a basic tenet I learned in my creative writing that a main character needs the readers admiration, so that as they read they are cheering them on and are invested in the character's fate. Even a horror character that is a mass murderer needs this and it takes a talented writer to achieve it.
I'm hoping that Bella is underestimating herself but if she honestly couldn't die for her father then I really have no more interest in this story. I'll keep reading on the chance I'm wrong but if not... that was a pretty big error, as a writer, on your part.
| hmm chapter 44 . 8/15
The direction of this fanfic over this direction sounds very religious. In a world with human overpopulation, and animals- including the leopard that Bella ate- going extinct as a cause of that, surely keeping a human eating diet is best. She argued against Edwards thinking- using rationality- that vampires don't have souls, and then was later spouting off about the hierarchy of species- human above animal. It seems strange that her reasoning is so based upon assumptions adopted from religion- and not backed up by science- that animals can't think. We know animals can think and reason and learn and argue. Science has proven this is many many many species. Especially all mammals and many birds. We know they can lie and manipulate and prefer and envy. She sounds very much like Edward in his souls reasoning, rather than like a logical thinker anymore.
While I'm enjoying the story about the wolves, the side of the story about hybrids and Bella's 'Non human drinking vampire world' ambition seems all of futile, illogical and extremely Mary-Sue-esque.
| Moka-girl chapter 1 . 5/12
It's a shame this version isn't as well-cared for as the one on it's own site, because people will read your story on its own site and this version won't get as many reviews.
| ProditorMagnus chapter 1 . 4/6
I didnt expect the way to save Gianna in Italy at all.
| World Theory chapter 7 . 12/19/2014
Are you sure this shouldn't be tagged as being a comedy? I suspect that now that the story has gotten interesting, I'll continue reading it all the way through.
| World Theory chapter 5 . 12/19/2014
I derived a fair amount of good humor from reading about the fictional events represented in the latter part of this chapter. I suspect that a large part of what allowed me to do that, is the probable fore-knowledge of what motivated one or more of the Cullens to do the things that were mentioned in the latter part of this chapter.
And by the way: I do so dislike consciously thinking about perfectly good food going to waste, weather it is true, or made up. And I also happen to really like tuna-salad sandwiches. I find the tuna-salad is very good with some chopped up celery in it, to give it a tasty crunch. I do not often have the opportunity to enjoy tuna often, even from a can, as it has become rather un-economical in recent years. Ohhh ... my sweet, sweet, tuna; how I miss thee.
| Arcticstar chapter 1 . 12/18/2014
Great story, not that I read it on as per your suggestion. A bit slow in the beginning, but that might be because I've read the books and you were trying to introduce Bella's new/different personality. I enjoyed the series, obsessively reading it once you got deeper into the plot, which is still recognisable against canon after 1000 words, just in a different order and different outcomes until probably halfway through this story, not that I'm sure because I just went and read all three in the last three days.
Hope to see more of your writing,
| Guest chapter 6 . 11/3/2014
It's really weird that Bella NEVER wonders if the Cullen KIDS work. That's kind of a disappointingly silly mistake for someone supposed to be smart to make. With 8th graders earning thousands of dollars mowing lawns and people like the author of the teenage investor buying stocks at age 13 (and writing about it), not to mention less wrong most likely winning prize money, she could have at least considered that one of the kids somehow won the lottery or was talented enough to get tons of prize money for music or something. Or maybe they just all had jobs that paid decently and that was enough for a shiny Volvo. She didn't know how big their house was, so it wasn't like she thought they were THAT rich.
| onlytoask chapter 57 . 8/27/2014
Fantastic story. I read it on your site so I don't know if this one is all that different beyond chapter divisions and general cleaning up, but it was absolutely fantastic. I'm sad Alice and Edward died, Edward because he's so important in the story and Alice because she's my favorite Cullen, but their deaths definitely made the story even better in a Game of Thrones sort of way. I'm excited to go check out Book 2.
| argentorum chapter 57 . 6/4/2014
The ending really sucked. Not gonna lie, I absolutely hate it, especially what you did to the wolves. In one aspect of my personality I'm a lot like Bella, in that I hold the privacy and control of my inner thoughts sacrosanct. The very idea of someone twisting my emotions my connections with other people around gives me chills. So in short, I really hate your ending. There isn't nearly enough silver lining for this dark cloud.
That being said, I cannot deny the beauty, tragic thought it may be, of this story. That's half the reason I'm not happy with how everything ended, because I was so invested in the characters and the story itself to begin with. But if nothing else, I can appreciate the sentiment of the story. A modern day telling of Icarus who flew to close to the sun and died for it. The story is only made more poignant by the fact that Bella dragged those around her down as well.
Part of me, a rather large part in fact, would love to see a second story detailing Bella's slow and methodical rise to power and revenge against the Volturi, as impossible as it may be. I want that because it might stop the small ache in my chest, made manifest by this tragedy you have woven.
I think, that if anyone could pull off such an act of vengeance it would be your Bella. But once burned twice shy, she is even more unlikely to put her daughter at risk. To the world, Bella Cullen is ashes, as are all the grandiose dress she wove from strands of romanticism and sunlight.
I should have realized it in the beginning, what kind of story this was when Bella told me that it only took one mistake to destroy your life.
| Twigon chapter 57 . 2/10/2014
What the fuck.
If there isn't a sequel to this I can go read for Bella killing Aro, then you should be changing the category from Supernatural/Romance to Tragedy/Romance.
Goddamnit, I did not see this Romeo & Juliet shit coming.
I am so fucking sad right now.
| Twigon chapter 4 . 2/10/2014
On one hand, your new Bella is much more interesting than the old one.
On the other hand, I would love to see a Bella like the Harry in the story you are basing this on. I can't imagine how the Cullen's would react to someone that pokes and prods them in curiosity rather than running away in fear.
| mutecebu chapter 2 . 2/3/2014
I'd like to get on record saying that having "a bachelor's in worldbuilding" sounds kind of awesome and I'm kind of jealous. I hope you succeed in putting it to use professionally.
| mutecebu chapter 47 . 2/2/2014
Oh my god, Bella, you're such a bastard. At least try to be sensitive and establish rapport before you break out the gruesome immagry.