Reviews for As Children After Play
Guest chapter 49 . 2/28/2014
I pitty Mason. It must be hard to know that your mother loves your sister but because of your fateherr she will never be able to love you the same way. I think Bella should give him to adpotion but to some completely strangers. Some couple who would love him but whom Bella wouldn't ever know.
A kid deserves a chance to feel love without guil or remorse and the knowledge why bilogical mother never wanted him. He will grow up and he will compere himself to his sister. That's fucked up. Poor child.
Krosck chapter 50 . 3/2/2014
Hello there ! I dont often write reviews even though i know i should but i had to tell you how much i loved your story . It was really well written and the plot was one of the most original i ve ever seen . It was kinda refreshing to see bella getting pregnant without it ending like in the books . And i cant thank you enough for finishing this story no matter how long it took you. I think i will read wisp as soon as you finish it so keep up the good work and thanks for sharing !
That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 26 . 3/2/2014
She is being harsh, but she isn't
far off base. Charlie claims Bella
as 'his,' a possession, not as a
That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 25 . 3/2/2014
I have a feeling that the library will become a
place of a different kind of 'higher learning'
for Bella ... and possibly a bridge to cross the
gap between she and Edward.
That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 24 . 3/2/2014
I want to know WTF freaked her out so badly.
That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 23 . 3/1/2014
Somehow, people need to see the truth
about Charlie. Seems like someone in
town would have, besides the Cullens.
Renee Aubin chapter 43 . 3/1/2014
Good insight: ‘She was not calm, though force of habit made her deny her bodily reactions, struggling to keep the rigid control she used as a shield.’ A different kind of shield than canon, but critical to her survival thus far.

‘Carlisle saw his human daughter shiver in her thin, long-sleeved t-shirt. He understood Edward's desire to care for her, to ply her with blankets and food, though he had much better restraint than his son.’ Good to know that he has the same protective instincts, though.

I’m glad Carlisle chose to acknowledge Bella’s reality instead of smoothing it over with bland advice: "You have every right to be scared," he said finally. "He's a dangerous man, and he has hurt and threatened you countless times. Now you're standing up to him, and I'm sure he's very angry.”

Well said: ‘At [Carlisle’s] tone of voice, the faint, hopeful light in her eyes died.’ Aww.

Wow, excellent parallel: ‘[Carlisle had] resisted the nature of this life, this body, and wrought something, he hoped, greater than the sum of its parts. Better than what he'd come from. Bella had done the same, he truly believed.’ I love how much he respects what she has managed to make of herself. ‘Carlisle was beyond proud of her.’ He should be.

Interesting idea from Jasper, that maybe they could get Bella’s rapist to testify against Charlie.

It surprises me how vivid this quiet moment is: ‘A long breath trickled from [Bella’s] lungs. The rain drummed. Mason snored lightly, damply, on Emmett's shoulder.’

Aargh, they worked so hard to get here: “Technically, you still belong to the state of Washington…” It’s better than “belonging” to Charlie, but she’s basically trapped there for the next eight critical months.

Truly surprising that even Carlisle gets here: ‘"To be honest, I rather wish she hadn't forbidden Charlie's death." Carlisle could feel his wife's astonishment…’

Rosalie is not the least bit ready to gracefully yield to Bella’s wishes: “It's a pity drawing and quartering has gone out of style." Clever.

Lovely contrast with the last time Edward tried to comfort Bella in the bath. Sweet: "I think she likes having you near." Bella leaned back against Edward's bare chest… "She moves a lot more. I think she's happy."

Terrific: "[Babies] don't think in words. It's all very much emotion, which makes Jasper better able to understand them. To me, they're very...chaotic." And much more believable than canon Edward suddenly hearing fully formed verbal thoughts from fetal Renesmee. SM lost me long before that in BD, but that was one of many last straws.

Shivery that he makes one more attempt to change her mind: “If we can't take you away, let me kill him." ‘He spoke the cajoling words with slow intent, honey-sweet, a seduction of something other than her body.’

Interesting: ‘And part of her, a small, dark part that made her feel sick, wanted to tell him yes.’ She really does resemble Carlisle more than the other Cullens in her ethical convictions.

Loved this: ‘Edward was hers to protect, just as she was his. And as such, she couldn't let him kill Charlie.’

A big improvement over canon:
"You'll turn me?" Her voice was a muted whisper. "After she's born?"
He nodded, brushing his lips along the well-loved contours of her face. "If that's what you want. You're
in charge now."
"It's what I want. I don't want to grow old without you."
I like that he’s honest with her, too, even though this is so awful to think about: “But...if there ever comes a time when you're both gone and I'm still here..." He shook his head. "I won't be, much longer.”

It’s amazing to me that despite all the vampires willing and eager to make Charlie go away, ‘So for the sake of the baby she carried … she had to do something.’ She, the weak little human. You did a nice job throughout the chapter showing the building of Bella’s thought process.

This time through I’ve already read the next chapter, so I know where this is going, but you still make me nervous!
BridieM chapter 50 . 3/1/2014
Thank you for sharing your amazing talent, insight, imagination and gift with us. I look forward to reading more from you and Wisp. :D
BridieM chapter 49 . 3/1/2014
Excellent chapter. :D
Isabella Esme Cullen chapter 50 . 3/1/2014
.•*""*•.❤.❤ .❤ .❤ .•*""*•.
Isabella Esme Cullen chapter 49 . 3/1/2014
•*""*•. ❤.•*""*•.❤.•*""*•..
JavaMasta chapter 50 . 3/1/2014
I'm interested in Esme's letter to Renee. It sounds like one of those "get this off my chest" sorts of letters - the kind of thing where you lay awake at night, thinking of all the things you'd like to say to someone if you have the chance to meet them again.

Congratulations on completing this wonderful story!
That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 22 . 3/1/2014
I loved that version of The Secret Garden as well!
SLKerouac chapter 50 . 3/1/2014
Interesting to see that Mason is writing in a journal now. That he knows what is going on in his life and how he became and who his family is. It was also nice to see the letter that Esme sent to Renee about how Bella was her daughter now and that she is finally home and loved. The only questions I have is if Renee every got the letter but Esme know that Bella is whole now and loved. Bells is now with her family forever. Thanks!
SLKerouac chapter 49 . 3/1/2014
It is now one year later after Bella gets to England. Her and Edward are back in Washington. Bella has some unfinished business to take care of since Charlie is dead now. They find Frank now. Frank has been thinking about Charlie and how he died. Frank is thinking about himself. About Bella. He would have liked to have kept in touch with her. Bella shows up and he is surprised. Now it was Bella's turn to talk and punish. That was just what she did slowly after drugging him. Edward watched Bella and made sure she was fine. She talked and broke bones. Frank knew now that he was gone. Edward and Bella visited the house in Forks. It was her first true home and she just wanted to see it again. Things had changed there. Billy dies and Jacob left the reservation and he was now traveling around looking for vampires. He was trying to keep phasing so that he could wait for Ellison. Jacob did not know that Ellison was not growing at a human rate. She was growing very slowly. Bella got a call from Alice. Ellie was being fussy. Bella and Edward both talked with her and she was starting to settle down. Alice wanted to know when they were getting back and Bella told her tomorrow. Rose complained to Bella about Ellie vomiting. Bella was afraid that Ellie was sick but Alice told her that she had the hiccups. Rose told Bella that she vomited all over Mason. Rosalie did not like vomit. When Edward heard Ellie start to cry again he got up with the phone and Bella and went to the piano. Edward started playing and Ellie settled down. Bella now was just thinking about the past. How and what they all went through. How Edward and her had grown up and together. That It was all worth it because they were now together-forever. Thank you for writing this. I know it took you a long time with a lot of problems but you made it through. Please continue writing. It will be something that will help you through a lot of things and know that you have people out there that love you and your writings. Please continue!
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