Reviews for As Children After Play
sosueme chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
I'm intrigued. Wondering what's happening w bella / possible abuse, whether e/b are destined for one another, and how alice's character will play out. Esme is interesting, very mother-like. I always thought it was weird in cannon and in the movies that the adult (80-100 yr old adult) vamps called / treated her like a 'mother', but not really. I didn't think her role as a mother was that well established. How could it? It's not like her 'children' needed to go to preschool, or be taught to look both ways to cross the stream, or wipe the blood off their chin with a napkin. You've done a better job of establishing her mother role in this one chapter than anywhere else i've seen.
ruby2sday chapter 1 . 5/12/2014
Hi, could you tell me if you plan to write a sequel to this story about Jacobs imprintting with Ellie?
Guest chapter 50 . 5/8/2014
Great story. Love your writing & not to put any pressure on you but looking forward to the next installment of Wisp.
Guest chapter 50 . 5/5/2014
Thanks for a great story, I loved it.
Descendants' Eyes chapter 50 . 5/2/2014
I have finally finished this story. I must say, this is one of the greatest . . . no . . . this is the greatest Twilight story I have ever read. "As Children After Play" will definitely be a story that I read over and over and over again. Thank you.
BellaRoseBelikov chapter 43 . 4/20/2014
Happy Easter 2014!
EmziBob chapter 44 . 4/16/2014
I love your story, I really do but as of the last few chapters I am starting to really dislike Bella. She is such a hypocrite in this chapter it is unbelievable.. She demands to be consulted on every plan or idea Edward has for her and the baby but cuts him out of a decision that could have got both her and the baby killed. She deliberately went alone to see Charlie knowing full well he wouldn't be able to resist the opportunity to hurt her, she could have gotten her own baby killed and then says she was doing it to protect her. Edward isn't even allowed to get her a blanket without asking her first but she can put herself and their unborn child in danger and Edward doesn't get a say in it.

Then the whole "Bella's in control" thing is getting ridiculous. If she is going to be in a relationship she has to learn to compromise and right now Edward is just bowing down to her every wish and she complains that he is taking her choices away when he doesn't. And yet, right now she can't even see that in doing that she is taking away Edward's choice. That is not how relationships should work.
CSG chapter 49 . 4/16/2014
I loved it & it was incredibly detailed & well written. Thank you for sharing it! :)
EmziBob chapter 33 . 4/15/2014
Okay so right down to it... this chapter annoyed the hell outa me.

I got so sick of Rosalie blaming everything on Edward, it takes two to tango and all that. He wasn't exactly alone when Bella got pregnant and she was the one that went to him. So the fact that Bella keeps being made out to be the victim and everything is Edwards fault really annoyed me.

Then there is the fact that everyone keeps hammering home that Bella doesn't have to go through with this pregnancy and forget what Edward thinks about it, it's Bella's choice so only her opinion matters. It is Edward's baby too. Granted I don't think Edward should be able to force her to go through with the pregnancy if she doesn't want to but yes dammit Edwards opinion does matter and yes his opinion should be taken into account aswell. He is not some random member of the family he is that baby's father and his opinion about this pregnancy seems to have taken a back burner to Rosalie's. It's as if she has more of a say than Edward does.

Like I said I am not saying Bella should have to go through with it if she doesn't want to but it's the whole "It's Bella's body so only what she wants counts" thing that everyone keeps talking about. It is a couples decision and should be a mutual one.
Renee Aubin chapter 50 . 4/2/2014
Mason’s journal entry was wonderful. How delightful that he’s such a normal little boy. Rosalie and Emmett wouldn’t want him to be any other way.

Hmm, wouldn’t it be interesting to know what Renee thought about Esme’s letter?

I would of course enjoy any outtakes/futuretakes you were inspired to write. The one that tickles my imagination is Ellie’s reaction when Jacob turns up to introduce himself. Or anything else about Ellie’s development.

Thanks once more for persevering with this story even with the difficult times that you went through. You’re a gifted writer and I hope you continue, whether it’s in this fandom or completely original work. ACAP is absolutely one of my all-time favorites!
Renee Aubin chapter 49 . 4/2/2014
Yummy epilogue goodness! After the way the justice system failed Bella with Charlie, I was glad to see they didn’t take a chance on Frank slithering away. And what a great idea – let Bella avenge the crime herself!

‘By this point in his career, he was an expert at reading people.’ Ugh, the arrogance in these thoughts!

‘When Charlie came to him for an explanation, Zinecki just gave him the truth: she was asking for it, and he could only stand so much.
Charlie had understood.’
Jesus Christ.

It took me a little while to be sure this was vampire Bella approaching Frank. But then I figured no matter how nearby he was, Edward would never have agreed to have human Bella anywhere near him.

I like that you chose a warehouse district setting for Frank’s … finish. A nice mirroring of Port Angeles.
Chilling: "I'm sure you've dealt with plenty of roofied girls before…” Oh, and the effects of ketamine made me shudder. Don’t remember hearing that on any of the TV forensic shows.

This moment was heartclench-y: ‘“Not after what you did." She shook her head and, for the first time, he saw her confidence falter, just for a moment. For one heartbeat, she looked again like the little girl he'd taken in that hotel in Seattle—younger, even, maybe.’

Yaay: "Charlie might not have cared, but guess what? I did. I did! And it's my opinion that counts now.”

More shivers:
‘“I'm constantly in awe of how careful you were with me when I was this breakable."
"How could I be otherwise?"
"Others weren't." Another flick. Another broken finger.’

Terrific: ‘She flashed a smile at the tall man beside her—no woman had ever smiled at Zinecki like that, ever. It was a smile of gratitude, and love, and a devotion that ran deeper than blood, deeper than rock and water, deeper than time.’
You have such a way with words!

Clever: ‘With her perfect vampire vision and impervious vampire body she needed neither light nor heat, and she enjoyed experiencing this home the way her family had experienced it when she was still human.’

‘Charlie was gone, and the town and reservation could remember him any way they chose. Their opinions couldn't hurt her. Not anymore.’ What a relief.

‘Jacob hadn't bothered graduating.’ I had the semi-evil thought that his prospective in-laws could probably have made him jump through whatever hoops they wanted, including making him finish school. And get an accounting degree.

‘When she came of age, Ellison would make her own choices. If that choice was Jacob Black, Bella would not interfere.’ Good for her. If anybody could understand the importance of letting Ellie make her own choices, it would be Bella. Well said: ‘She was just so much...so much more than [Jacob] ever had been, ever would be.’

Funny: ‘Rosalie, oddly enough, was completely fine with dirty diapers but could not stand vomit. Emmett handled the upchuck, as he called it.’

Sweet: ‘…[Edward] was very much a hands-on daddy. He was ecstatic about helping with feeding when Bella decided, four months ago, that she was ready to be changed.’

‘Ellie was growing so slowly that Bella was afraid she'd be middle-aged before her daughter stopped nursing, and that just wasn't on her agenda.’ Chortle.

Lovely summary of their growth together ‘despite his earlier assertion that vampires were frozen and immutable…’ That’s one of the things that made this such a great story!
TwiFanfictionRecs chapter 1 . 4/1/2014
As Children After Play has been nominated in the poll to find the Top Ten Favourite Fics completed in March on www . twifanfictionrecs . com
orangeapeal chapter 50 . 3/30/2014
So clever, ending with Mason's point of view. Esme's didn't add as much for me, but probably because I can barely remember Rene in this story, so don't recall any loose ends to be tied up. Perhaps I'll go back to reread from the beginning...
Thank you for the story, appreciate you generously sharing your writing like this.
orangeapeal chapter 49 . 3/30/2014
Bella in charge, awesome. Too bad her 15 yr old self couldn't see ahead to the joys to come.
orangeapeal chapter 48 . 3/30/2014
Lots of tears and a touching return to England, fitting if not firework-y end. Surprising imprinted Jacob wasn't there carrying the bags or something! Nice that the family is quietly safelyly home after all the trials & tribs.
Couple of typos there at the end (in a rush were you?) the paragraph starting "I couldn't sell this place..." a "her" instead of here; and after putting on the new crest bracelet, should be we, not "you" came on too strong.
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