|Reviews for Oddballs and Pervs|
| Always-Here-Imani chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
This was cute. I like the idea of it, although your writing could use a little bit of work. For starters, you don't need to use so many ellipses. You can show that what the character is saying has implications just by your word choice, so all the "..."s weren't necessary. Also, there didn't seem to be much realism to the story. I didn't feel, as the reader, that this really did happen somewhere in the world. I think that if you had put more sensory details in this, then you're realism would have been through the roof.
I do not mean any harm at all by my critiques. I'm just saying, writer to writer (beacuse, let's face it, everyone in the educated world is a writer at some point in there lives), how to relate your ideas to others better.
| knoppan chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
Just wanted to say I really liked it - especially the topic!
| AHotMess chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
Ooooooooh, where do I apply for one of those two! Super Super hot.
Goood luck with the contest bb.
| VAVikingGirl chapter 1 . 7/27/2010
Oh my! Definitely a keeper. Yeah, Bella's not alone in her fantasy world. I realize this is a one-shot, but if you ever decide to extend it, I'm taking the precaution of putting it on alert.
| Shineoncindi chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
When i read the summary i thought "you're preaching to the choir!" but i read it, and, well not so. but that isnt to say i didnt enjoy it :P
| Purple Tulips chapter 1 . 7/22/2010
She is definitely not the only one! E/J is so hot. I need a cold shower now. Good luck in the contest.
| Jay's World chapter 1 . 7/21/2010
You scratched my back so I'm returning the favor. You know, all people have to say is 'male slash' and I'm in. Gay porn IS a turn on, if it's the right kind...lol...loved the story ;)
| sessahhh chapter 1 . 7/21/2010
Great job. I guess I fit into your perv category too cause I thoroughly enjoy the gay porn. Good luck in the contest.
| Blue fantaisie chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
I enjoyed it, am I a perv?
| Darloudasha chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
Oh, nice! I know this is for the contest, but after it's over it would be awesome to have a "in the room" voyeristic experience and some D/s fun! :D (blatant hint) MWAH!
| yankeesgirl4565 chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
That was so hot! Great job!
| Nisa Cullen chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
ok if it liking boy love makes you a perv then oh well!
when she asked for the towel i almost fell off my chair!
hot and spicy thanks for writing
| Marianka chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
Amazing how you put your Words
Toughs,Idees,emotion and Words,
| SLegend chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Well, if Bella is a perv for liking to watch two hot men fuck...then guess I am too! Go Team Pervella!
| Butterfly Betty chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Wow, that was fucking hot! Great job:)