Reviews for Star Trek: Heronas
Zero Credibility chapter 8 . 7/28/2010
I'm so glad that you explained the title of the last chapter because it was bugging me that I just couldn't get it. Yes it's obvious now you've pointed it out. D'oh!

Playing dungeons and dragons on a starship was hilarious too. Some things will never change when a bunch of geeks get together! I wonder when they're going to start working out which alien race corresponds to elves, dwarves, orcs, ...

What's Trip up to with that laser? Has he just invented the warp drive equivalent of re-heat? Really like the gritty detail of a crew shaking down their new ship and getting to grips with it. And even now fine tuning the design on the fly.

The count-down gives a real sense that we're building up to a crescendo and I've no idea how it's going to go when the fertiliser finally hits the fan.

God, I wish T'Pol was here.

Hang on darlin', I'm coming.
Zero Credibility chapter 7 . 7/27/2010
I got so carried away with the story that I forgot to comment again, didn't I?

Loved the line about something 'falling off'. What a great way of putting it. This ship: It's T'Pol's work, isn't it? I mean, she's collected together the notes and drawing from his effects and presented it to StarFleet as a coherent design that said "build me". What a fantastic tribute to his work as an engineer, and how touching for a Vulcan to decide to do it. Also loved the idea that the ship was basically a great big engine, with the extra bits needed to point it in the right direction stuck on as an afterthought. Very much in the hot rod spirit, and it's nice to think that even in the age of multi-billion-credit R&D budgets and design-by-committee, they've still got the moxy to come up with something like this.

Why is Trip concerned about the regulations? Oh, there's that section about fraternisation isn't there? Oh.

I think I might have mentioned briefly how much of an idiot Trip has been, and I hope that right about now he feels like the drunk sneaking back in with a hangover, knowing he's going to be in trouble and knowing that he deserves it. But how come he hasn't managed to actually get in touch with T'Pol yet - surely some sort of communication would be possible? I mean the mundane sort involving comms links, not the bond. Although they should be in touch via the bond too, unless T'Pol is *really* mad.

Never mind. Hang on darlin', I'm coming. Excellent stuff.
Aleasesana chapter 7 . 7/26/2010
If only Trip had left with Tpol at the end of the Romulan Wars book and this is the result. I cannot wait for the reunion of the crew and Trip...Great Job.
Nemo Blank chapter 6 . 7/25/2010
Love the story so far. I do like the idea of Trip getting a command at last, though it would make far more sense for starfleet to make him a dockyard admiral with his expertise.

Those Romulans like their elaborate plots and traps, much like the Imperial Japanese Navy did. The thing for starfleet to do would be to take a page from Admiral King's war book and go on the offense, attack relentlessly, fluidly and with lead-pipe brutality. Cute little plots based on long held intelligence always fall apart in the ever changing fog of war.
Alelou chapter 7 . 7/25/2010
Nice and taut.
Thot84 chapter 7 . 7/24/2010
Okay, first things first:

The dream scene is very good. Probably the best one I've ever read. I know: High praise for such a simple scene but that's actually the beauty of it: At first I thought it's a memory, because it lacks this contraproductive "I'm in a dream but I haven't realized yet" atmosphere and then I has this nice twist of the little detail with the hole in this body.

Short and sweet with a bizarr attitude but at the same time you can imagine where it comes from (Trip's pretended death and now a dream about being dead)

The ship-atmosphere - and I'm not referring to the environmental controls - is progressing well with the crew letting Trip sleep longer than planned.

In addition, the fact that Heronas has it's problems during the maiden voyage gives the whole story a far more sense of realism.

Please keep on writing.
Thot84 chapter 6 . 7/24/2010
Snorpenbass: "As for Trip's reasoning for what he did, well, grief can make you stupid, and Harris is very good at manipulating people."

Oh hell... Trip will be in the dog house... I mean sehlat house probably for the rest of this story for pulling off this stunt.

I'm not conmpletely sure if I got this right: Is Trip also Chief Engineer on Heronas? If he's not: Is it Sawyer (Eddie)?

I can understand that under the circumstances (premature departure, Trip's experience/being the "inventor" of the engine) he took over, but on the long run the workload of this arrangement of being Captain and Chief Engineer would simply kill him.

On the other hand, I can't envy the person who's playing the role of Chief Engineer under Trip Tucker - knowing that your boss probably is better in your job and more or less wants your job but doesn't get it because of the circumstances... not pretty.

One other thing: At first I was confused why you added the '-as' to the name of the ship although the name of the man was Heron, but then I saw that heron in English is also a bird.

So you probably used the Latin version of the name to make it distinguishable.

P.S.: In order to let the numbers of the reviews reflect the quality of the story I'm planning on increasing my reviews from now on. That should rememdy the situation. :)
Alelou chapter 6 . 7/21/2010
Very much enjoying the combination of suspenseful straight-ahead storytelling and snarky humor.

However, it took me a lot of wandering around at the beginning to determine that I hadn't missed something previously published. That "last time on Enterprise" summary deserved to be developed as its own chapter, surely?

Looking forward to more. (BTW, I LOVE this chapter title.)
HolyMoses chapter 1 . 7/21/2010
Geeze, way to spoil the ending by killing Trip off in your first chapter. Dunno if I want to finish this now.
Transwarp chapter 5 . 7/19/2010
I like your writing style: good plot, good pacing, and good dialogue. You've captured my interest, and left me wanting more.

I also like the way you've taken the ridiculous and completely unbelievable premise of the book 'The Good That Men Do' and remade it into something semi-believable. (I will never be completely sold on Secret Agent Trip. Sorry.)

I also like that you are covering the Romulan war, one of the most neglected periods in all of Star Trek fan-fiction (inexplicably so, given the importance of the war and inherent drama of the subject).

There was a tiny uh-oh in chapter five, when Trip is getting a tour of the ship, and is told that the galley is also the rec-room. I think you mean the mess deck is also the rec-room. The galley is the actual space where food is prepared and cooked. It's the kitchen, with ovens and sinks and such. Not something you'd want to turn into a rec area between meals. Like I said; tiny.

I am looking forward to Heronas' baptism of fire.
Thot84 chapter 5 . 7/18/2010
That this story has only a handful of reviews is a crime.

In basic, it's the premises of the Enterprise books ("The Good That Men Do" and so on) but remedied of plot holes of the paper books like Trip actually being "killed" 2155 but history recorded 2161, leaving some questions like "They have so accurate details of this time in the 24th century, but they didn't realize that during the bigger part of Enterprise mission there wasn't Trip Tucker on board?" or like "There are beings in the Federation of the 24th century, who have memories of the 22nd century, therefore experienced the historic events and can retell it in later times, because they live longer lifes than Humans. So why doesn't a single one out of this millions of sentient beings simply state that the recorded version of the final voyage of Enterprise is tremendously wrong?"

The later point gets really painful when in the third book of the series ("The Romulan War") Tobin Dax shows up and even works for an Engineering project of Starfleet, is in contact with the engineering departments of every ship of Starfleet and therefore knows/later remembers that he/she isn't/wasn't in contact with Trip Tucker, who's suppossed to be on Enterprise. Jadzia or Ezri would take one look and would immediately remember that Tucker (a person "larger than life" like Riker said in the Abonimation - called by some "These Are The Voyages") was dead for six years already.

And I don't even want to go into much detail about some other points like Travis Mayweather ridiculous behaviour in the 3rd book or Malcolm Reed's weird attitude to try everything to get away from Section 31 in the episodes on TV, but in "The Good That Men Do" he all of a sudden without a real cause initiates the contact between Trip and Section 31 to get him dragged into the same mess.

Well writen, good sense for the dramatic, although I'm just as anxious to know Trip's reasons for pretending his death even to T'Pol as anybody else.
Zero Credibility chapter 4 . 7/18/2010
Wolfish Inclinations is right. I was sucked in by the prologue, and before I'd got my comments sorted out there was the next chapter so of course I had to read that right away. Before I know it we're four chapters in and I haven't offered a single comment.

Trip, what the heck are you playing at? There is no possible justification for putting T'Pol through that hell. You'd better have a convincing and thoroughly *logical* explanation ready, or you're going to be for it when she catches up with you. T'Pol's fury is absolutely justified. What. Did. You. Do. And Trip clearly knows he's been an idiot. Yes, most satisfactory.

T'Pol's life without him seems to be going from bad to worse, missing him terribly and with reminders of him everywhere she turns. That was one of Trip's infamous Hawaiian shirts she had, wasn't it? No wonder she was furious when she realised he'd put her through this deliberately. You're an idiot, Trip. Did I mention that before?

So, Trip's going to get his own ship, is he? Trip back in starfleet and back out in space, great. Trip on a ship without T'Pol, not so great. Despite the fact he's been an idiot (did I mention that already?) I'm rooting for them finding a way back together. What is Gardner up to? Is this 'just' a petty-minded bureaucrat out for revenge for a perceived slight, or the more sinister prospect of a senior official trying to break up the most effective crew Starfleet have? And what are those Romulans on Dagger of S'Lar up to? And what did Trip call his ship in the end? I don't suppose it's likely, but I'd be really pleased to find he's named it after T'Pol.

Thanks for a great start to the story, really looking forward to finding what happens next. Oh and Trip, you're an idiot. Just wanted to mention that.
Wolfish Inclinations chapter 3 . 7/17/2010
I'm really surprised this story doesn't have more reviews! It's a great premise and you seem to have a knack for spot-on characterization, with very good pacing for a lengthy story.

As for this last chapter, Trip really won the award for Worst Opening Sentence in Explaining to Your Wife About Your Sudden Resurrection. To be fair, though, kinda a difficult topic to broach gracefully. What with T'Pol in the know and Trip heading down to Earth, I'm very excited to see the next few chapters. Keep up the good work!
Trekmom1 chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Great story, really held my attention. I am looking forward to more chapters.
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