|Reviews for the pull of your heart ღ|
| TheMusicLives chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
Congratulations on your first NCIS fic! I really loved your sense of humor in this. There were a few spots of odd grammar and some of the word usage was a little strange for the genre. But that's because you were using more Brit English than American (and from your profile, you're Aussie so that makes sense).
All that aside, this was a very enjoyable read! Any fic (or episode) that involves Tiva having a heart to heart in the bathroom is fine with me. :) I do love when they use their "office" to talk privately. They're like Gibbs and Fornell with the elevator. LOL. And having Gibbs listening in the entire time was hilarious!
One thing that I would suggest is that you reign Ziva's outward display of emotion in a little bit. I was taken out of the character for a moment when I read she was sobbing. Just a thought. Ziva is a strong character and often keeps her emotions bottled up. It takes an extreme situation for her to lose it and, even then, she doesn't usually lose it so completely.
Your Tony was very close to perfect. The lovable goofball. And I kinda fell in love with Gibbs' new rule. :P Even though it just means they're gonna break that one often. ;)
I know what it's like to have Tiva playing around in your brain. Sometimes you just gotta let them out! ;) I'm glad you did! I hope I didn't scare you away from doing so again. I just try to give con-crit if I do leave a review. :)
Thanks for the read!
| FateEscapesMe chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
First things first, McSnoop makes me think of a white dog eating a Big Mac... Second, if you hate Leon, raise your hand, *Hand stretches as far as it will go, and waves around frantically* BASTARD, that's what he is! Third, Gibbs seems to always come in at the perfect (for him) time! Fourth, you are allowed to say ass in a fanfiction, especially if it's Tony's thoughts! Fifth, the way you said 'It was as if they were teenagers again' made it sound like they knew each other back then. I also see you still have a dirty mind, 'I will tie you naked to a street pole and put a 'bump me' sign beside you.'
'"Ah, actually Ziva I think you mean-"' Finish it please... O rdo I already know what it's 'supposed' to be? ;)
Overall, it's better than any of the few NCIS fics I have read, so you didn't completely fail. Well done!
| marshmeg chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
continue! good job
| Betherzz chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
really great beginning to the story :) i would love to see the rest of it... rule 12 never date a co-worker, its not never fall in love with a co-worker, its not never marry a co-worker, its not never have a family with a co-worker... think maybe the last 5 or 6 years have been one giant flirt/foreplay/dating/get to know you/ fall in love with the other one kinda deal ;) cant wait to see what comes next if you choose to continue the story
| zivafan chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
I think that even if she was disappointed he wasn't there, she would completely understand why. I liked their interaction with McGee. I also liked the end. lol