|Reviews for Monsters|
| Talrond chapter 1 . 12/30/2013
Wow only 7 chaptets?You could have made this an easy 24 chapter .oh well back to chapter 2
| Aliyah81 chapter 7 . 1/16/2013
Your story is a bit confusing. I have difficulties in following the plot. Bella and Rosalie were in College then in the following chapter Rosalie is in Denali. No idea why and where is Bella? And why is Rosalie wondering about Irina having sex with a human? She and Bella had sex already and there wasnt a problem or was there?
But this is by far NOT a negative review! I LOVE this. Even if I got a bit confused from time to time. Perhaps its because English isnt my mother language. Your writing style is awesome. How you describe things, feeling, characters. I wish more authors would be able to accomplish this.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 7 . 9/16/2011
O Authoress 'phfina,
Please tell me you have more in that pretty head of yours for this story. I wanna know what Kate has to say... I wanna know... Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
This chapter was really good. I liked it a lot. I was surprised with your explanation of how Love saved the boy, I did not expect you getting there and it was brought so smoothly, very well done. I liked how Rosalie is so easily provoked, she is so susceptible, it's amusing... but I like my arms in my sockets so don't tell that to Rosalie 'kay?
You're one for cliffhangers you know? I really liked your explanation of the Succubae and I wish I'd know what Kate did.
Also I have to say, I love your end notes. THey're really good, sometimes funny and quite informative. How did you come to know that hat makers used mercury, and that's where the expression comes from? You just never stop do you?
Your story is taking a very interesting turn, and I would love to be able to keep reading it. I also think it's becoming much less 'canonical' and I am very curious to see where your imagination is taking you. I actually like that it's taking us out of 'Bella/Rosalie' settings and that you are taking us with you.
I like it, and I am not the only one. I hope that you will get back to it in due times. Thank you for writing it.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 6 . 9/16/2011
You witty Little Thing!
So Rugby has nothing to do with football, you're not supposed to call it 'rugby football'. And there are lots of very precise rules in Rugby, which actually inspired your American Football. It is called the sport of gentlemen because it is not just about eating cleats and patting butts. The good thing about Rugby is that it promotes team effort, there is very little room for individual shine, and there are no commercials, no game interruptions for measurements, and well, the guys don't wear armor, so it's all...
Anyway... The chapter... (soccer is an acquired taste, and you can't really appreciate it unless you've seen the World Cup.)
The chapter is good. I right down want to kick the Denali sisters... Starting with Tanya. The perfect strawberry blond bitch. They're dripping with arrogance and so condescending. I love it. I found Rosalie to be extremely patient. I mean really, I was actually surprised that she agreed to go with the girls to begin with, and Alice making hand gestures to signal Tanya to not push it, I loved it.
'I hunt alone'... sure, I hunt alone too. May I ask why is it that you are ashamed of masturbation? Rosalie I get it, and even then, I'd think she'd get over it, you know? Being the top alpha woman type, most of the time, you'd think she'd be okay with her 'needs'. Is Rosalie a catholic?
I really enjoyed this chapter, and it left me hungry for more actually.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 5 . 9/16/2011
Alright! it's on. Now I am anticipating, and curious. You're warning? I want more from where that is coming from.
Oh sorry... Dear 'phfina,
I like this chapter. I like how you address the reader directly, you don't do that often and it's effective.
Honestly, you made me thirsty. I mean the tugging and tearing and agony, left and right, with no escape, no salvation, no possibility to make it better. It feels like Rosalie is a caged predator aware of the suffocating lack of space for her size.
You write it so well. There is no redemption in Rosalie's mind. God she is so harsh with herself, she never lets herself catch a break does she? Bella is her break, Bella is her purgatory too.
Do you think that she trembles at the thought of not being able to touch Bella ever again, and get that whiff of humanity, of warmth from the girl she loves, knowing that she needs her like she needs a fix, all the while hating herself for her weakness and endangering the one she loves, putting her on a path that is everything but simple and safe?
She is so tormented, Rosalie...
Thank you for this chapter, I really am looking forward to what is next.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 4 . 9/16/2011
Dear 'phfina Brat,
So I was myself curious about the Adam apple thing before I saw your end notes, so I actually went and checked out the wiki page for the laryngeal prominence and well, I guess I don't see why women wouldn't have them, the cartilage feels the same, just not as prominent as for guys. In any case, your end note cracked me up, as usual. You and you T rating, I wonder if you ever succeed at putting any sort of rating on your thoughts, though I am pretty certain you are very shy about these things too, miss Panther.
Your chapter. I like this chapter, I really do like this chapter. I think it's well written, and I can see you really thought about it. You really thought about their reaction. And maybe you thought about it too much. The thought process works just fine, and on Rosalie's part I am following, the reverse psychology, Bella's reaction, how she comes to the conclusion that she is going to do the project on her own and how it lead to the fun matter. I got that in your intent. I also see how Bella would think that Rosalie is purposeful and all of what you added, to come down to your line about what it's like to be a vampire (I thought that was so brilliant).
So your approach of this moment for them is making sense, it felt very fluid and all, maybe a little too well coordinated. I am guessing you maybe had a hard time with Bella's mental thinking. Rosalie came along just fine, but Bella didn't feel natural, not as natural as in your other chapters. Bella felt a little awkward, that was good, because she is awkward. I think the moment that didn't work out for me was actually her being surprised at Rosalie's desire for her to be happy.
Then you explained the desire for justification and that was simply amazing. So true, just like... You know when you're writing and you hold that thought, and it hits you that it's right. Like for the vampire eternal potential boredom, just like that. You just got it, and it's very meaningful.
I mean the way you handle the whole thing is fine, and maybe it's simply coming from my desire of seeing them actually do something that is not going back to class. Your Bella is very reasonable, very responsible. Rosalie is too, but I think, without them going all Alice on each other, there's something suffocating in being so 'good' and strict and Rosalie says it well, but Bella can't help herself, and Rosalie should maybe take her out that comfort zone a little.
It's your story and your approach, but I mean, I get this feeling like they need to liberate themselves a little, together, and not with sex.
You write brilliantly sweetheart, don't take it badly okay? It's just a feeling I have in reading this chapter.
I liked the ending of the chapter, I could so feel what Rosalie meant.
Thank you for your writing, and for being brave doing so.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 3 . 9/11/2011
Hey there, again.
So your Samantha cracks me up. I just want to smack her actually. And good use of the word 'patois', you always amuse me greatly with your faux-French which this tume was not faux at all.
I just can't get over Rosalie's tone and how it is so caustic, and it makes me smile and laugh every time I read you. The evisceration session? really funny, and the nerves of Samantha making a pass on Rosalie right after she offered her 'services' for Bella. I like that you made her bold, and I understand why Rosalie could find her maybe entertaining a little.
I love how you render Rosalie's demeanor. I can see her facial expressions and the glares, I can hear the ice in her voice and all the while we readers are privy to her thoughts and it's simply delicious.
Rosalie is so practical, and poised, I just love it. The end of your chapter was really good. I could see how Bella passed out and Rosalie rolled her eyes and took care of things before something else came up to try and 'cramp her style'...
Thank you for your wit, I always enjoy it greatly.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 2 . 9/11/2011
What I liked about this chapter is how Rosalie is trying to think of everything. She is anticipating her troubles ahead but I like that she is not running from them.
Will. Will is such a hard thing. It's such bullshit too. Many people don't have any, many have some but it's absolutely misplaced.
Poor Bella, she's met a being of will, wise and misplaced, within Rosalie Lillian Hale. I find Rosalie to be very toppy in this chapter, maybe even more than in your other stories, and if I didn't know better I could almost think that she is complaining. Is she complaining?
I like how you show Rosalie having such an interest in Bella being healthy in her life and interactions. A deadly interest too. What a mother-hen, what a jealous protecting predator.
Samantha the panther is amusing, as usual and I quite wanted to intimidate that professor myself.
It's a good chapter, especially with the Bella portrait of personified shyness and lack of self-confidence. Were you like that when you had the power to shut up your professor and were asked a question in front of the whole class?
And on to the next one, be good Little One.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 1 . 8/3/2011
My Dear 'phfina,
I am reading you this morning, and I am thinking about abandonment issues, especially now that you've mentioned them.
I am reflecting on the collateral damage people inflict to others by their carelessness, being clueless to the consequences of what one does to another by saying things, promising things that never happen.
It's even worse when it's starts at a young age. It creates pain, but also trust issues, abandonment issues, self-esteem issues and much more. I am seeing spiderwebs of ramifications because of people saying "Hey honey, I love you, I'll see you at 4:00 pm" and you end up walking home because nobody showed up at.
So Edward leaving Bella in the forest, to die, well it's just about right. Of course that's in Je te rends ton Amour, and I guess I know when I read this chapter why you wanted me to write it.
She is all damaged your Bella, and your Rosalie she is very aware. And how honest you are when you say "Bella is such a pain in the ass". Because it's true.
People with abandonment issues are such a handful. They complicates things so much. Loving them is not enough, you have to show them every minute of every day, and just when you think they finally got it, you have to do it all over again because they never 'get it'.
What sucks the most is when they are aware. They know they have it, but they can't help themselves. Then you have to deal with their shame, their fear of not being good enough for you.
Bella is such a pain in the ass.
It's not her fault. She pays for it every day, every minute of every day. She becomes less important than Rosalie staying with her. She'll go to any length, she'll do anything, so she becomes her own pain, she self-inflicts it if needed, not to lose.
And Rosalie, she can predict any moves of hers, she can tell, like you can tell, exactly what's going to play out, if you're observant a little.
I can see the tremendous size of Rosalie's heart, I can see how she is built to handle that. Why she wants to. I can see how she has the shoulders.
But it's not every one, she is Rosalie.
It takes years of dedicated work, and love, much much love, but mostly it takes the dedication of a Rosalie to have a relationship with a Bella, and make it work. Especially when you have Rosalie's issues, because you can add her own abandonment issues to the mix.
I really appreciate how you turned this chapter from Bella's state, miserable state, to show how she is not just that, and she can see right through her solid and strong Rosalie's ice defenses and touch her exactly where she is the most vulnerable.
I think I just really like the love that they have for each other, and their potential to grow.
Maybe I am seeing something others don't see, but you know what I really really like about this chapter is that if you can write this, this potential of theirs, this opportunity to grow together and individually, and if you can really see it with your eagle eyes, then it means you have it in you.
You have it in you, and that what I like the most.
| Meneldur chapter 7 . 7/12/2011
So... this story is about the evils of sexual energy and how it turns you into inhuman monsters?
Because, really, this story I don't get. I mean, it seems like an excuse to introduce the Denali sisters and their dperaved way and reasons for them, and an excuse for Rosalie to confess how she's so evil and monstrous and blah blah, whine whine. I hated Edward for being so fucking wangsty. Oh no, I wanted to kill an evil rapist, and in my teenage vampire phase I went around killing murderers and rapists! I'm so tragic and broody!' Fucking hell, he was worse than Angel, and that's saying something. I mean, Angel was a mass-murderer who raped young girls and then turned them, and was forced to become good by some spell. All Edward did was clear the world of some vermin. So Rosalie starting to sound like Edward - bad in my book. Very bad. On the other hand, who knows? Maybe by Christmas Bella will have convinced Rosalie she isn't that bad, or something. I'm really hoping for some revelation on how Rosalie isn't as evil as she thinks, or at least her not angsting about it. I guess I'll wait and see.
Now, fun with correction: "You're powerful warrior Jasper". I'm pretty certain you men "your powerful warrior Jasper", as in ownership, not "you are powerful warrior Jasper". Although that prompts interesting thoughts about writing a fic where Alice is the one who fought in the vampire wars of the South and Jasper was the one sent to an asylum... we shall ponder. Until then.
| NYx328 chapter 7 . 4/10/2011
| Wolvenkite chapter 1 . 10/28/2010
Like the way you do Rosalie's character. Very deep. Hope you update soon.
| EverlastingMuse chapter 7 . 8/4/2010
| mione03 chapter 7 . 8/3/2010
Gi...wow you are really so fast in uodate this fic and i really,really so happy if this!I'm a big fan of your storys!
Essa história vem ficando cada vez mais séria,com um ar mais pesado e cheia de revelações e eu estou gostando muito disso porque estou tendo a possibilidade de conhecer um lado totalmente diferente e inesperado da Rose!E a cada pequena coisa que vou descobrindo vou a achando ainda mais fascinante e vou me envolvente ainda mais na história!Bom só posso dizer que não fui muito com a cara das irmãs Denali e acho que pelas reações e pensamentos da Rose ela também não gosta muito das meninas,mas isso não me impede de sentir que vou descobrir coisas cada vez mais fascinantes,diferentes e assombrosas!Acho que ainda vão vir muitas histórias pesadas por ai e que o medo da Rose é de um dia a Bella descobrir alguma delas e resolver abandoná-la!Bem parabéns pela história cada vez mais fantástica e fascinante!
Beijos de sua
| ScOut4It chapter 6 . 8/3/2010
I liked the flow of this chapter and regarding your A/N #1, I am glad that you thoroughly and with wonderful humor addressed my internal question that I wouldn't have bothered to ask, but was happy to find out about the reference within.