|Reviews for Protected|
| watchmewatchuu chapter 5 . 4/20
I know it's been like 7 years since you updated. But still I hope you will keep writing and finish it one day. It has me on the edge of my seat, your writing is amazing. It would make my year if you continued this story.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/15/2016
Omggggg, pls finish this!
| sansasawyer chapter 1 . 9/4/2014
The other night I actually dreamt about this fic..
I dreamt that I checked it again, and suddenly there were bunch of new chapters I hadn't read before, and I was sooo happy! Like, FINALLY I could read more of one of my fave stories!
You can imagine my disappointment when I woke up :(
I still come back to this story from time to time to reread it, it's just so good. And now that I was listening to "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo, I just started thinking of it again.
I know this story hasn't been updated since 2011, but I still hope that you will find some motivation or inspiration to finish it someday. That would complete me and fill this hole in my heart where this unfinished story lies. I just wanna know what happens next? What will Ian do to get Peyton back? How will Lucas and Peyton's relationship continue to progress? soo many questions!
| TheFandomLounge chapter 2 . 11/23/2013
I'm quite sad that this fic is abandoned... it's been two years but I still have hope that your muse will find their way back to you. This story is all kinds of perfect and makes me feel like I'm reading an actual novel. Wonderful writing on your part; you're truly talented.
| sansasawyer chapter 5 . 11/22/2013
Ohmygod, HOW can you stop here?!
I need this story to be continued! The suspense, the fear, the LEYTON, I love it! :')
I really need you to continue this until it is finished because hello! How can you stop it here, when we know Ian is still coming for Peyton? Pleaseeee update! D:
| br0kenbranch chapter 2 . 2/19/2012
(cont of chapter 5)
At first I was asking myself why doesn’t she emote with her dad? But then I realised that it’s in Peyton’s nature to protect her dad, and I think this is one of her ways of making sure that her dad doesn’t have to worry about her too much, she doesn’t want to be too much for him. Though the relationship between Larry and Peyton is quite unconventional, I have to say that you’ve done a great job creating a beautiful father and daughter relationship. Perhaps because the relationship is so unconventional I think it’s all the more interesting to read, it gives the character just a little bit more depth, and another dimension.
At this point we are 3,590 words into the chapter and we still haven’t had any Lucas and Peyton time. So when I say the name “Lucas” and “hospital corridors” in one sentence, I immediately wanted to read faster, just to get to the point that Lucas and Peyton would talk. I have a very weird way of reading, for example the scene between Larry and Peyton was a scene that I read very slowly, I wanted to read every single word meticulously, not wanting to miss anything in that scene. But when you drop a hint, like in that flashback with Ian and Jessie, the audience knew that they were fighting and that Ian was angry but we didn’t know why, that’s when I start to read faster, because I really want to know what is going on. The same thing happened here, I really wanted a LP scene and the hint was dropped that it was going to happen so I started reading twice as fast. It’s actually really bad, because I start losing information. For example, there is an FBI agent outside Peyton’s hospital room, the first time I read this chapter I didn’t even notice him, really bad I know, but I just really wanted to get to the Lucas and Peyton part.
The interaction between Lucas and Peyton was just lovely to read. They don’t do anything out of the ordinary, they just are, and yet that is what makes fun to read. I love that Lucas didn’t have to go and see Peyton, but he wanted to. He has had a long day, and he has loads of paperwork, and still he wants to go see Peyton to make sure she is okay. I love that 3 And he made sure he checked with Larry whether it was okay to visit Peyton. Lucas is just the sweetest thing ever! Have I ever told you that I like the way you write Lucas better than the Lucas on OTH? If not, then I’ve said it now, and I mean it. You always, in all your stories, write Lucas in such a way that he is graceful and gentle (without being a wimp). I always love this stage of the Lucas and Peyton relationship. They are in a place where they are not together, but they are slowly falling for each other. I love really really love that, and you always do that. You always build up the relationship. I hate fanfics where Lucas and Peyton get (back) together in a flash without any build up. It just doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s just my opinion.
Back to the Lucas and Peyton scene (one of the many I love in this chapter), I love that the feeling is mutual. Peyton hadn’t wanted to see anyone, except for Lucas. That says a lot. Lucas is genuinely concerned about her, and I think Peyton senses that. She may have even sensed this from the beginning, and that is why she felt safe with him, and that is why Lucas is one of the two people Peyton wants to talk to. They already have a connection. Even though they don’t really know each other, Lucas can read Peyton like a book. This is clearly seen in the scene where they are sitting in her hospital room discussing how Ian had tranquilised her, Peyton averts her gaze and starts drawing Ian’s portrait, almost absentmindedly. Lucas doesn’t see what she is drawing, but he knows by reading her face. And of course he has had FBI special training, but still…he can read her like a book. He can see what she is feeling, just by looking at her and that has to count for something. I think this is a really nice basis to build upon.
One of my favourite scenes this chapter was the episode where Peyton asks Lucas if he has caught Ian. When Lucas tells her that they haven’t, she panics and is drained from all hope. She snap her pencil into two, and she tries her best to keep in her feelings. Lucas again reads her and tells her that it’s okay to cry. I think that she needed to hear that. And when Lucas says he should leave she starts talking about Ian. She doesn’t want to be reminded of Ian, and yet she wants to talk about him with Lucas. Perhaps she doesn’t want him to leave, because she doesn’t want to be left alone, or maybe she just wants Ian to get caught, but to me this shows that she already trusts him enough to open up to him, and that is very rare for Peyton.
When we get back to Ian’s point of view it’s in flashback but in present time. In this piece we get to see how sick he really is. He actually likes the chase it excites him. This extract is very different from the flashback extract. The flashback extract shows his past, and this extract shows what that experience has done to him. He has a need to finish what he started, and he intends to do just that, but in the meantime he has already set his eyes on the next girl. It’s just never going to stop. The way you describe Ian actually really freaks me out sometimes. I once read this chapter when I was alone at like 3 am and I had such vivid images in my head that I wanted to stop reading, so well done! Because that was a second or third read and you still managed to scare me :P
I was glad that the scary part was over and that this scene was followed by a Peyton scene. It becomes clear that some time has passed since the last time we saw Peyton because now she home and the narrator tells us her sleeping patterns and how she is coping since the attack. It was described in just a few lines, but I loved to read that. In those few subtle lines you’ve managed to capture everything that Peyton is going through.
This last part of the chapter is my absolute favourite part of the chapter. I love the way Lucas and Peyton interact with one another, even more so than in the hospital scene. Because by spending the night at Peyton’s house Lucas broke FBI protocol, and yes I realise that Lucas didn’t stay over there to look after Peyton per se but I know that he had that at the back of his mind when he accepted Larry’s offer.
At one point in the narrative a comment is made that Peyton is hiding herself by pulling her robe closer to her body, she is sorry about breaking down in front of Lucas. I’m wondering how Lucas is interpreting the situation; does he think that she doesn’t feel comfortable around him, or does he know what she is thinking? I mean he’s been really great at reading Peyton thus far, so maybe…
I really love that Larry and Lucas get along so well. It’s nice to read, and it again shows how sweet Lucas is. This only makes me root for Lucas and Peyton even more.
The ending was just awful, I mean it wasn’t awful, but it was awful for me because I was left with such a cliff-hanger. I want to know how Ian managed to get passed the FBI agents who are patrolling around the house. But Luca was amazing, he instantly knew it wasn’t the neighbour’s cat, he took control of the situation, and dealt with it the best way possible. When Peyton sees the flowers and the note, Lucas doesn’t hesitate and just reaches out for her. I love those little gestures. Maybe I’m reading far too much into all of this, but hey I guess that is what my studies have done to me :p
This chapter was great, we got to see a little bit of everything. As readers we really don’t know what to expect. But I think as an author you have a very difficult task, because all this time I’ve been wondering how you are going to get Lucas and Peyton together? They have a connection, that much is obvious, but how are you going to spin the story to make it possible for them to be together? We will get to see them be together right? I really don’t hope that the story ends when Ian is caught and then we get a quick epilogue of 5 years later where Lucas and Peyton are happily married with 2 kids. I would really love to see the relationship evolve slowly and steadily into something great. I want to see how Lucas can make Peyton open up after everything that happened to her.
I hope this wasn’t too long or too boring, or a disappointment after such a long wait. I really wanted to write something inspiring for you, I hope I’ve managed to do just that. I hope to hear from you soon!
| br0kenbranch chapter 5 . 2/19/2012
Here is long awaited, and long promised review, I hope you’ll enjoy ;-
Over the past few months, I have read this chapter several times and every time I read this chapter I sort change my opinion about this chapter.
You started the chapter with Ian’s point of view, and the first time I read it, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it for two reasons. First off, I just wanted to read about Lucas and Peyton (silly reason I know :P), but more importantly, we really get an insight in his psychology, and I think that is very brave to do, but I was really tentative about it. The reason I’m saying this is because this story really relies on mystery and suspense; that really drives the plot, and it’s one of the most important thing that makes the plot interesting. In my mind, part of that mystery is not knowing what Ian is thinking, or does the things that he does. So by showing this side of him, I think you made a really bold move. There is a chance that we as readers get to understand Ian’s psyche, which could lead to us predicting what he might do next, which in its turn could make the story boring because we know what to expect. So, as a writer you have to be really careful with what information you can and cannot give away, because it would be a shame if the readers already know where the plot is going before you really want the readers to know. That being said, I think you nailed it. I think I’ve read this chapter 5 times now, and every time I sort of change my mind, “yes it’s a good thing” “no it’s not a good thing.” But now I’ve come to the conclusion that not only do I think it was good, but it was actually really really smart.
There was a nice balance between mystery and revelations. The chapter starts right where the last chapter left off only now from Ian’s point of view. You don’t waste any time and you delve right into Ian’s story:
“He had to focus. He stood still, his eyes fixed upon old family portraits. Looking at the pictures he could almost see better times. He stared at her smiling face. His arm was around her as they posed and grinned at the camera.”
I have to be honest, this first time I read the chapter I didn’t see that you were already hinting at his background. I thought he had been preying on Peyton for a really long time, that he had been collecting family portraits etc. but when I read it the second time, it everything fell in its place, and I felt really stupid that I didn’t pick up on this the first time . It is because of this that it took me while before I figured out that the next part of the story was a flashback. Maybe me not getting this is also part of the reason why I didn’t like the story at first, but when I finally realised where you were going with this I could actually appreciate it, and now I actually really like the chapter .
You start in medias res in the flashback. Nothing is clear, the only character we know is Ian, even though it wasn’t explicitly said in the beginning, you feel that it was Ian. I have no idea what they are fighting about, and that makes me want to read faster, I really wanted to get to the part where everything was to be revealed. Okay so Jessie, Ian’s high school girlfriend cheated on him. At first I felt for him, especially when Jessie and Ian have a conversation in the car:
"I'm sorry," she sniffs.
"Was it a joke?"
"Was it a joke? Did you have a real good laugh at my expense?"
"No," she shakes her head decisively.
"Did you think about me at all?" he questions.
It's the first time he lets the hurt take him. He hates it and he hates the pitying look in her shining eyes as she whispers a 'no' and reaches her hand to touch at his arm.
"I didn't think so," he utters in bitter sadness. He shrugs off her soft touch.
I really felt for him, but that moment was the only moment I felt for him, because what happened next is no one’s fault but his own. I really started to hate him. Yes, I know that Jessie cheating on him isn’t right, okay I understand that Ian is angry but he is such an idiot. I feel like he knew what he was doing, he wanted to scare her, so the accident is really no one’s fault but his. I feel no sympathy whatsoever towards Ian. In fact, I think I hate him more after reading this flashback than before. I don’t know if this was intended, but it happened anyway :-P I was really getting into this flashback, but then we shifted from the flashback and Ian’s point of view, to present time.
I have to say that the first part of Mitch and Lucas investigating the forest is something that I scanned over, every time I read it I know that the part of Peyton waking up in the hospital is coming, and I find that really interesting to read. I think that it has something to do with the way you write Peyton, how you describe her, and her surroundings. For example, the moment Peyton wakes up we get a really detailed description of what she sees and feels. It is all written in the third person, and yes there is an omniscient narrator, but sometimes I feel like the omniscient narrator is interpreted through Peyton’s eyes, or maybe she is the narrator like Pip in Great Expectations, looking back on his life, only now she doesn’t speak in the first person but in the third person.
In the paragraph following Peyton waking up, we get to see even more information about Peyton. It’s subtle but it shows a lot about Peyton’s background, and as readers, we automatically sympathise with her. And again, this paragraph is written in the third person and told by the omniscient narrator, but it again feels like Peyton. I guess it’s a very interpretive omniscient narrator, or whatever scholars call it :P
Anyway back to the chapter, the descriptions you gave of how Peyton feels, and what she sees when she first wakes up are really vivid, and they really set the scene. I like reading those parts more than reading dialogue, I think I have mentioned this before, but I really love your descriptive narrative. There are so many literary devices at work there I shan’t begin with naming them because then this review will never end. I’d have to analyse each and every line given in this chapter, and that would be too boring for you to read :P
I love the scene between Peyton and her dad. Nothing really happens and nothing much is being said, and I think that is why this scene is so beautiful to read. In this little scene between a father and daughter you see the love they have for each other, and you see the comfort that Peyton needs from her father. I really thought that this was touching and beautiful. In my head I can see Hilarie totally rocking a scene like this. There is this special way she says daddy that makes her look like a little girl, I’ve always loved that on OTH. I always love Peyton/Larry scene, partly because we don’t get to see those very often and partly because I love seeing Peyton being daddy’s little girl. The same goes for this story. Even though Peyton is very much the parent in this story (she has to take care of her dad, she gave up college for him), you see that in the end she will always need a parent; the love, stability and safety that a parent brings. And all that in this little scene. In this moment Peyton turns from being the parent back to being Daddy’s little girl. At the end of the scene you made a small comment that Peyton wanted to cry, and wanted to release all the things she has been feeling since her escape, but she couldn’t.
| Mcsexielover chapter 5 . 1/14/2012
Oh my gosh!why would you leave a story like this? I have not read anything like this before- its absolutely brilliant; its like reading an actual novel!please tell me you'll continue!please get that muse back and contimue it please!its sososo goood!
| sokiew chapter 5 . 12/5/2011
wow une suite S.V.P
juste me prévenir sur mon site
| Candyland chapter 5 . 11/27/2011
OMFG!I really love this story! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE CONTINUE IT! I really want to see how things end! :)
| LukePeyTLA chapter 1 . 11/15/2011
I am still hoping you will update this soon and finish this story in spite of the fact that the leyton fandom has faded. This story remains one of the best crime genre fanfics I have read on this site and I really hope I will get to enjoy it more in the future...please please find the time to spend on this baby- I miss good leyton stories such as this one. :)
| grayfan chapter 5 . 6/12/2011
great update can't wait for next thanks
| lukenpeyton-puckleberry-4ever chapter 5 . 6/11/2011
wow, this is so good, can't wait to see what happens, update soon
| Lexie-Rae chapter 5 . 6/9/2011
Yayness! I was so shocked and excited to get this update email :D I'm so glad you've found the time to update, I've missed your beautiful writing.
I love that you take the time with Ian as a main character here too, having an insight into his psyche makes this story so much deeper. Now not only do I want him to get caught (obviously) but I want someone to talk to him, to help him out and to make him feel normal again or something, you know?
The Prom Night section was brilliant too. I'm so glad that you added this and kept it in line with the arc from the show too. I think it explains a lot and offers the slightest bit of empathy towards Ian. Because even though we all hate him for what he did to Peyt and the others, the way you wrote this experience makes you feel sorry for him.
I know it's probably too early in the story and too quick, but I was so desperately hoping that they'd catch Ian here. The idea of him still at large is so creepy and unsettling. I mean I'm sure that it'll make for some awesome Leyton interaction. (And in a way I kinda knew this wasn't the end because there has to be an epic showdown where Lucas saves the day and hopefully beats Ian a little or something lol).
I’m so happy that Peyton and Larry are reunited. It was so sad to have Larry with nothing left in his life but a tiny flickering bit of hope.
Leyton interaction! I love the way Lucas is in this story, so considerate and kind, plus a little aware that he cares too much about the Sawyers but ignores the protocol he constantly breaks. Because it’s her. It’s so cute!
Seems like Ian’s getting cocky. I hope this leads to his downfall. Seeing as it’s only been five days, he’s being bold in snatching another girl. Hopefully he’ll make mistakes and be careless enough to leave some clues in his evil wake. He’s so twisted; a perfectly written creep ;) if you know what I mean.
Lucas staying over at the Sawyers’ is just perfect. Such a Lucas thing to do. It’s an older more confident, trained version of Rake Boy. Although he and Larry already get along. So it’s even better.
Ah! The parcel is just too creepy! Is it really from Ian? How did he get through the police cordon to her back door?
“And I’m going to catch him.” – best line ever!
Loved this chapter! Even though technically for the moment she’s safe (especially since Lucas is with her all the time) you totally kept up all the suspense. And I like how the Leyton’s slowly building. You haven’t rushed in with all the quirks and cuteness that make Leyton, Leyton. No familiar quotes, not her eye roll or his squint. It’s all built from the situation and slowly becoming Leyton in a different way; because the situation’s definitely different and it deserves that kind of energy and dedication.
Awesome work, loved it so much!
| EmmaJoie chapter 5 . 6/8/2011
uds xx :)