|Reviews for No Good Deed Outtakes|
| MissNikita chapter 5 . 8/22/2010
Let me start by saying, that everything g1rlanachr0n1sm has written I completely agree with and i cannot put it into words like she has.
I am so happy that chapter 5 gave a bit of life after Damons death.
I still dont think Stefan fully understands the magnitude of the suffering he caused.
It was however an extreme pleasure to read and please write more, you really are ... *insert some over the top good word* writer.
| g1rlanachron1sm chapter 5 . 7/28/2010
(Yeah, I did receive both your email and the attachment. I've been reading and reviewing it in parts. Partly because it's MASSIVE, but mostly because I'm savoring every word.)
I don't think I'll ever be able to properly articulate (I know, I know. Seems trite to say that NOW!) how much I have loved this story. All those breathtaking highs and devastating lows hooked me from the very start and reeled me in with all those accompanying twists and turns. As drawn in as I was by the premise of Damon loving someone so very OTHER than Katherine, what really kept me coming back was the well-thought-out plot and the intriguingly developed characters.
An example of which is this outtake.
You articulate Damon's pain so acutely, with subtle yet drastic language. Word choice is so important and yours has sent shiver up my spine numerous times. And that was just in this outtake. ('Everything hurt.' - Oh, kill me. Just kill me now!) It seems that a lot of your best lines are ones that are well-placed, expertly timed to make the biggest impact and they are almost always in italics. Which means that you know they are the ones that hit hardest because you designed them that way.
'He was broken, she was broken, every tangible connection was severed.
So everything had to go.'
That bought of rage, that bone-deep despair culminating in destruction, brings more depth to his pain at the loss of his love than I thought you could manage. I already felt for him, cried for him, and wished better for him, and yet you draw more out of me than I knew I was capable of. In fiction.
(Jesus, I should probably stop feeding your ego and just ask you to marry me flat out. Would save me considerable time. ;))
'But what he was really saying was that Stefan had no right to interfere.'
At first read, I thought it was brash of Damon to blame her death solely on Stefan, but as usual when I read through your work a second time, I see that there are underlying layers that I hadn't touched on. He was responisble, at least in part if not in whole, for destorying so much of her sanity, for walking away and leaving her to fend for herself, for doing irreversible damage to Damon's realtionship (and therefore Francesca's) with Francesca's mother. And frankly, doing damage to that family itself.(Makes me think of that line in Chapter 14 about the family that would never understand and never forgive him...)
And the last line in that section: 'He would never utter an apology.' Oh the anger.
'...a side-effect of life with Damon, even your handwriting began to change.' - Made me smile a bit. True enough, wasn't it, that she changed? Mutated as a result of her life with Damon? Not all in bad ways but it ways enough that it showed.
But, and maybe I'm just a heartless bitch, I felt no sympathy toward Stefan. No amount of penance or remorse, no matter how genuine, could change how I feel about that one. He's got no qualities that redeem him, no real depth to him. Even that brotherly bond that's supposed to supercede all others, even that can not make him any less...
Wow. I don't even have a word for him. (Careless? Cruel? Impassive? Or maybe just indifferent to the suffering around him? As if he were merely observing grief but not of it, hovering over that sorrow but not touching it.)
'No, he wished he didn't have anything to be sorry for.'
Holy. Effin. Crow.
| Pandora03 chapter 5 . 7/28/2010
Yup - tissues... definitely tissues. Bravo! It truly is an amazing story, and as mentioned before, I love it! :)
| LokYa chapter 5 . 7/28/2010
Another great outtake. but it is so sad.
hope you will start another fic, love your writing.
| mouse555 chapter 5 . 7/28/2010
hey, You here! lmao!
well, do I really need to say how much I freaking loved this? Oh, ok I really did!
Look forward to possible 6th outtake!
| LokYa chapter 4 . 7/28/2010
love all the outtake.
and this one about their first time together is beautiful ans senual.
| BilliMonroe chapter 4 . 7/26/2010
Wow. I didn't even know that the fic was over until I saw your author's note. That's how engrossed in your story I was. I love how it was both dirty and classy at the same time. It made me blush, and I read filth all the time. It must have been your words. And it was, to borrow from Damon, positively SINFUL! Cannot wait for the next (and hopefully not the final) NGD outtake.
| g1rlanachron1sm chapter 4 . 7/26/2010
I love how you can make them seem both almost eerily sexy ('touching, feeling, unable to pull away') and very nearly normal at once ('He liked it when she talked dirty.' - LOL!). It's almost like you take everything we could never hope to experience and combine it with all the things we already have. If that makes sense. Their coupling here? It's written as if this moment is something that would change their relationship forever AND as if it were simply the natural progression of things, as if they would always do this.
It's sweet, really, and envy inspiring.
You portrayed Francesca as not-quite-innocent and I'm glad for that. Most stories with original characters tend to write them as holier-than-thou, as Mary Sues if you understand the term. I love the fact that Francesca lived a little before meeting Damon, love that you painted her a history and some decent backstory. It's refreshing.
You know what? I could spend all day reviewing your work, picking it apart and unearthing all those hidden meanings and qualities. Really, nothing would give me more entertainment or satisfaction.
Ah, before I forget: My favorite line from this one? 'You see her as forever?' And the resulting, 'God yes.' So typical of your Damon.
| mouse555 chapter 4 . 7/26/2010
*fans self* wow!
I dunno why you panic so much cause you write good lemons lady!
What u got planned this week?
| mouse555 chapter 3 . 7/23/2010
Goofy sweet Damon.
You know I love this soooo much!
And am soooooo glad you posted Lights too!
| g1rlanachron1sm chapter 3 . 7/23/2010
Positively adorable is more like it. I was surprised, at first, by the change to first person, but it worked so well. There are so many lines in this one, both thought and dialouge, that grab me and strike me as so very Damon-esque. You're really very good at writing him and not a lot are.
'Symbiosis. I'd even looked it up. We functioned because we had each other.'
Though I think that was the best one. Sweet and sexy and undeniably true all at once.
Francesca and Damon really click here, the chemistry so thick you could cut it with a knife. Their back-and-forth banter and the easy way they seem to flow, ebb gently into their own rhythm, it's nearly intoxicating. Who wouldn't want a love like that? So raw and undefinable and pure? Golly, I know I want some of that.
But 'The way she always did.' eclipses all of that and shines brighter than any line you've ever written.
| g1rlanachron1sm chapter 2 . 7/23/2010
(Idiot me didn't see this because I forgot to add it to my alerts. Many apologies for being so incredibly tardy in my review.)
Though you said Stefan is acting like Damon, I saw nothing of him in Stefan's actions when I read this. Nothing of how you portraed him anyway, none of the raw emotion or the callous closing off of same. There was just Stefan being Stefan; selfish and absorbed in his own... self.
I need new words.
This was... strangely sexy. Dark, but not deep as it was when you wrote Damon, and it was very much what I anticipated, what I expected from you when you mentioned you would do a StefAbelle outtake. (Though I assumed, incorrectly, that it would be done from her perspective. It's better this way, in his POV, because we alread got a glimpse of her. What we needed was him.) No depth here, no reason behind his action other than boredom and hunger, both kinds of hunger.
And it's just perfect.
That line about the hotel room: 'His angular jaw being bitten and kissed; her hips so slim that he could feel her bones beneath her skin. Just how he liked it.' Oh, that just screamed sexy. Even if it wasn't meant to. It's not hard to be enamored by you and your words - or by Stefan's prettiness. (Though Damon is so much more extremely sexy.)
You write the complusion well, almost choppy in the way I imagine it would feel to the brain, disjointed and disconnected. This line here: 'the twists in time where she didn't exist'. Great word choice and placement. It's easy to get a sense of what it would be like, look like, because we saw some of that compulsion with Caroline in the show.
'He wanted to take her until she couldn't breathe.' & 'He needed to drink again.'
Those felt desperate, almost blurry in a way that showed he was still under the haze of hunger/thirst. The way you use that desperation, turn it into something horrifying and desirous all at one time... well, that's just astounding.
I look forward to reading the next outtake!
| strangedazey chapter 3 . 7/22/2010
I love Cute!Damon.
| Pandora03 chapter 3 . 7/22/2010
Oh, soooo awesome!
| mouse555 chapter 2 . 7/20/2010
Well... You know I lovelovelove this!
When I was red penning, I could actually see this as an episode of the show tbh (I didn't tell you that did i) which would totally throw the audience! Thank god, goody goody stefan bugs me! Iliked him when he was all mean after drinking human blood!