Reviews for The Hill of Swords
Thanathos chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Another great chapter. This one a little darker, but looking at the situation, it fitted.

While I'm a bit dissapointed that Avalon did not make an appearance, as I really don't think it needs much od beyond tracing and activation, seeing it heals fatal injuries even when deactivated, the battle was still awesome. Just for this one act, Shiro should be able to qualify to become an Epic Spirit, as this event will be infamous, especially since he did a lot more damage than Saito. It would be interesting if Albion decided to give him a nickname like a noble's, and if so, what it is. If the language was Japanese I would go with Ikki Tousen, 'The lone rider with the strength to withstand a thousand', but since it is all English, it is curious. And even if he doesn't get an official nickname, the soldiers of Albion will give him one, a name that they will probably fear for ages.

And I don't think that Shiro has to become FSN-Archer to see Saber again. Archer was a Shiro from a parallel world, as was made clear in Heaven's Feel, and Shiro has really already done enough to classify as an Epic Spirit without having to become a Counter Guardian.

One question. Shiro was according to Tiffania very close to death, but he was not actually dead, right? So he should still be Louise's Servant, since while near-death, he never actually died. Or does she have to resummon him again. While Louise of course theoretically summon someone else and have Shiro be free, it'd be a shame to see him without the Gandalfr-power, since it was practically made for his tracing.

I'm really looking forward to the third season, though I really hope the next chapter won't start with something like 'After I killed that annoying elf'. Shiro is calm and calculating by nature, so while I understand that he would in the first moment hate Tiffania beyond all reason, he would also consider that she had the best intentions, plus he is probably too weak from his brush with death to actually go through with his first instinct and hurt her. Also, hurting Tiffania, whether physically or mentally, is like kicking a puppy. It's just wrong. She's too innocent and naive to be killed or have her heart broken. Also, wouldn't Tiffania's actions count as 'saving', since it made her really happy, and Shiro would be a hypocrite if he begrudged her for something that he himself still wishes to do. To me the situation is almost identical to Shiro's meeting with Kiritsugu, only that Tiffania didn't cause Shiro's injuries.

Another thing I'm hoping to see is more elements from the Nasuverse, like TYPE-MOON-Servants, or maybe Zelretch. The man is the master of the Kaleidoscope, and a being in a reality where he shouldn't be should be interesting enough for someone who literally lives forever.

Still, even if Shiro is the only thing from TYPE-MOON in Louise's world, which I would think a real shame, the story itself is too good to not read.

But there are two things that I would really like answered.

One, since the actual Zero no Tsukaima extends further than what the anime has shown, will your story be open-ended or will you draw a clear line at some point?

And two, why were the dragon's spitting fire at Shiro? I mean, dragons really don't care too much about humans, barring their summoner, and Shiro is loved by all things reptile, so wouldn't the dragons of Albion at least hesitate to fire at something that smells like a baby-dragon? Dragons are not exactly patriotic to human governments. Shouldn't they have tried to convince their summoner to be friends with Shiro like Irukukuu did, and if forced, giving off half-hearted attacks that wouldn't even reached the ground half the time? I mean I can understand the first attack, if they were flying overhead and couldn't smell him, but once they swooped down once, they should have catched a whiff of him. Also, were really all of the hundreds of dragons in the air familiars, or were many just trained dragons, because if they were merely trained, they would be more likely to turn against the humans than the thing smelling like baby-dragon.

To sum it up, the second question is 'Why does Shiro's charm to reptiles always work when it is annoying, but never when it would be useful?'

Either way, I hope you update soon, and maybe find the time to answer some of my questions. Good luck with your writing.
Thyrokio chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Poor Shirou, I wonder if his bond with Louise is broken?

Nice work, I can't wait to see what happens next.
Techlology chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
You sir are a very cruel man. And god be damned if I'm not shedding manly tears after reading this.

But before anything else, I must present the mandatory complaint that Excalibur wasn't featured. XD

And for once I don't regret it. The reason for not using it and choosing Ragnarok instead is very tactically sound and for that I applaud you. And I'm not sure but, as an alternative to Caladbolg, a thrown Gae Bolg would be comparable both in terms of raw power and prana usage. Shirou could use some more variety in his attacks but seeing how this is a life or death situation he'd go for the more familiar option.

I'm guessing you left the last general to live to spread what Shirou did to his army so he can become even more of a Memetic Badass in addition to being a Memetic Sexgod.

And hooray for Last Episode, I'm guessing Saber does exist in this universe and I very much support Shirou/Saber OTP. It just doesn't feel right for him to romance any other character.

And seeing how later on in FnZ canon, Louise got a chance to summon Saito again but since this has crossed with FSN, if a similar situation occurs in Hill of Swords, is it possible that instead of Shirou the summon gate opened to another Servant? *cough*Saber*cough*

And once again I must say I can NOT wait for the next chapter!
kail chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
i thought it gonna be a clifthanger but you pull it. goob job.

for the hating part, nice !
Elvarein chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
There is a very interesting dichotomy between Shirou and Saito during this last part.

Shirou seems to be seeking death, the only thing preventing him from letting himself die are his beliefs. He is broken.

Saito wants to live. He is afraid to die, but so that everyone else may live, he offers himself up. He was stupid in the way he did things, and naively idealistic. Refusing to kill a single person because they are in the end just tools.

Just like Shirou before the Grail War.

Excellent story Gabriel!
Gogolu chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Redhand chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Wow, an amazing turn to the war, and for the character's themselves.

I hope Shirou doesn't take this setback too hard, because he should KNOW that he must become 'Archer' (from FSN, and his attitude isn't that bad yet, hehe) before meeting his final end as a human, and now he KNOWS Saber is indeed waiting for him.

Those two things should be enough to resign himself to further living. Not to mention being able to look out for those he cares for a little longer. Now that it's certain Saber waits for him, maybe he'll let himself grow closer to others a bit, and not hold himself back so much.

Great story, best thing I read all year
Incoqnito chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
He hates the elf? That's just stupid, if he wants to die so badly he should just kill himself. Then he can whine when someone tries to save him.
GN00QuanTa chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Eeeepic! I listened to those songs and felt that it hightened the story and i found a cool electrics guitar version of the song. I feel sorry for Tiffa now. Unlike Saito Shiryo isn't a perverted adolescent male and only thinks of the size of breasts he already has a lover and she just took him away from that. I greatly apreciate the fast updates and great detail in the stories. By the way i have a question: Are you mildy drunk or stoned when you write this or do you just have an insane amount of free time on your hand? Oh one more thing there is an auther out there who has written a fate/stay night/Bleaxch crossover it is superb. I suggest that you read it. Its not to had to find seeing as its the only one in the section. Till next chap peace!
mangafreak7793 chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Oh damn it, this was a awesome chapter, leaving me in a adrenaline rush and me wanting more,

I don't know where to start the comedy was top notch as always and I imagine Louise knitting appearing in a Godzilla movie leaving a stomped Shirou implanted into the concrete

The battle was epic, forget UBW (for now) if shirou can achieve this level this level of GAR is amazing in itself and will be passed on as a legendary hero, or as a sex god if the threesome rumors grow after his supposed death

the music suited the scenes perfectly

lastly, shirou had achieved last episode and then gets it snatched away by an act of kindness, and the hatred of Shirou's directed to an innocent girl, leaving me on what will happen next

Will He Kill her?, will Derf take the blame and Shirou melts him?, oh the suspense!

This chapter has me on my toes, and leaving me want more, please update as soon as you can, I want to know their fates and how will play about
bcdeidarayon chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Another excellent chapter though the ending really was quite the shocker; Shirou Emiya was so close to being reunited with Arturia Pendragon only to be returned back into the living world much to Shirou's despair. Don't let Tiffania Westwood be involved with Shirou's despair-filled bashing as it is through Derflinger that teleported Shirou to the forest that she was able to find and save Shirou though the result is far different than she intended (in other words she unknowingly pressed his berserk button). If there should be bashing bring it upon Derflinger or at least in the next main battles unleash that anger upon the sorry opponents who crossed his path.
XanatosGambit86 chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Fantastic end to an arc! I see your pouring more of the Unlimited blade Work spell in. Look forward to seeing everyone's reaction once shirou unleashes it. We're getting closer and closer to the end of the arcs the Zero anime has covered. Seems far off now but time has a weird way of blowing through like the wind.

I have to say though it seems by the end of the Tiffiana arc it seems your going to transition into more original material. Might I suggest throwing a good dosage of other type-moon elements into your universe. Say Dead apostle maybe even have the group meet Zeltrech or even Aoko at some point. Hey, I would even like to see some of the other holy grail war servants maybe do something a bit different and utilize the fate/zero servants in a way. so many possibilities..

Anyway keep on writing. I look forward to seeing how you develop the relationship between Shirou and Tiff.
Hotako Tomoe chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
I admit this episode left me feeling... Wanting.. I suppose I wanted more Shirou x Louise, which looks to never be happening now. If anything now seeing Saber is waiting for him with open arms its almost telling now nothing will happen, and he has such a hateful outlook on Tiffania. Hope this changes too but given what she took him from, I doubt it, this is why Shirou needed Saber to tell him to love again.. Dang it! I can't tell you how sick I am of Shirou x Saber fics, and all the more I hate the tragic fics where Shirou grows old alone or dies in a war or something to be with Saber again.. I hope you focus your Princess no Rondo arc on him falling in love with someone, Heck, Henrietta and Saber have a lot in common, you even mentioned it. Just saying, I just want to see Shirou happy, if not with Rin or Louise, someone alive...
Violet Shadows chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
That was a good chapter, and while I would have probably enjoyed a more violet and carnaged filled war, this was fine too.
TheDivineDemon chapter 14 . 8/28/2010
Wow, I just want to say I never finished eithier of these series but the way you blend them together makes it better than either on it's own. This making you fucking awsome.
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