|Reviews for Dark Heresy: Through a Guardsman's Eyes|
| bootkr00 chapter 10 . 4/27
nothing wrong with that
| bootkr00 chapter 9 . 4/27
| bootkr00 chapter 8 . 4/27
| bootkr00 chapter 7 . 4/27
| bootkr00 chapter 6 . 4/27
do not trust the eccliarchy
| bootkr00 chapter 5 . 4/27
A bro fucking A
| bootkr00 chapter 4 . 4/27
smooth operator present
| bootkr00 chapter 2 . 4/27
| Vixx chapter 10 . 10/3/2011
Awsome awsome f.f. please countinue this and add more romance please
| theluckyshot chapter 10 . 8/29/2011
Count me interested. Other than grammatical errors I find myself enjoying this little tale. The characters are likable or at least believeable for the most part and I look forward to their dynamic with each other in furture chapters.
| WH40kderp chapter 9 . 12/29/2010
Aha! The plot thickens. Only advice I would give would be to keep consistent with your grammar, the only issue I was able to spot would be the usage of ellipsis, while it is improving from earlier chapters, you still have an issue of adding an extra "." to your ellipsis, but I digress that I am only niggling.
Looking forward to your next chapters, what has my intrest is wheather or not the cultists are actually cultists!
| VFR6 chapter 7 . 10/12/2010
This is nice. I am waiting for the update.
| ChaosMarine1992 chapter 7 . 10/7/2010
Hi, it's me again. Just some thoughts on your characters.
Overall quite good, although Sadira might need a little tweaking to fit the theme of 40k more. Here are my thoughts.
1. The pilgrimage to Mars to become a Tech-priest is no small ordeal, and in most of the fiction I've read the implants do tend to diminish a lot of the human personality. Although, since she's young, and possibly a low-ranking priest, she may not have that many, so it's not that bad.
2. I have no qualms about her emotional issues, but her physical issues are a little out of place. For one thing, the Adeptus Mechanicus despises the weakness of flesh, and her implants would have included some modifications to prevent such distractions like her "time of the month". Remember that the main motivation for most (not all) Tech-priests is to be closer to the Machine God and further from organic life.
It's up to you what you want to do with your story, just be aware of little things like the above. If not then your story might end up lacking the gritty feel of 40k.
Keep at it, though!
| ChaosMarine1992 chapter 2 . 10/3/2010
Based on Dark Heresy (of which I have some inkling of knowledge), I find this is a good work which is worth a read.
However, my main issue is with the Guardsman. Fluffwise, no Guardsman is capable of outfighting a Dark Eldar Archon, who probably way outclasses him in terms of physical capabilities (strength, agility, reflexes, speed) and wargear (he would be armed with the claw, and other things besides that would make an encounter extremely nasty). Then again, considering Dark Heresy is about talented individuals, I could overlook it on the grounds of, say, they mistake a simple Sybarite for an Archon.
Keep at it. But a tip of mine is to try and increase the lengths of your paragraphs, and string all the action together if you can.