|Reviews for dragonball alpha|
| Xj9 chapter 4 . 10/14/2010
Nice chapter. I hope Goku will be able to find Bulma,, Update soon!
| Xj9 chapter 3 . 7/26/2010
What do they want with Arika? I hope he'll make it out alive.. Update soon!
| Defaulted chapter 2 . 7/20/2010
During these 2 chapters I've been saying to myself "What the fuck is going on?". So Chapter 1 is somewhat easy to understand: Someguy is gets a phone call, stuff explodes and he goes to a hospital to plug something to his iPhone and then he sees a hologram. (Though it doesn't make any sense)
But Chapter 2 is normal, but it sometimes skips stuff. Like here:
The flames from the fireplace crackled and reflected in Goku's eyes as he looked up at the old man.
Gohan Ran quicker than eye could follow as he raced toward the disturbance he sensed from the to a hault kicking up dirt Gohan watched in horror as the child was screaming and growing wider and taller feet by the second.
At first Theyre in the house, but then Gohan is suddenly somewhere else and running towards "the disturbance".
So all in all, edit it into something that is easier to read and add " marks when someone is talking.
This is kinda hard to read:
Hello…hello..static….hello can any one here me.
Should besomething like:
"He...o," static "..an any one hear me?"
Or something like that.
| Xj9 chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
Interesting start of the story. I wonder how you'll continue this in the next chapter. So update soon!