|Reviews for PGSM R With a Small Twist|
| Khmyh chapter 13 . 3/19/2011
Hey there. Sorry I haven't reviewed the chapter even if it's been on for a while. Real life got in the way of my writing as well as reading time. I love how you paired everyone up with specific enemies that they have some kind of connection with. It's always a nice touch that way. And I'm honored that you find using my O.C suitable for your chapter, though I might suggest you to come up with some explanation about Rubellite. Is he going to be a recurring character like Danburite? Because when I made my O.C, I also planned a very long back story behind it. You don't have to explain about Danburite that much, because he's from Sailor V manga, but for Rubellite, if its only a one time thing, it might make his appearance seems random. Like I said, I really don't mind you using my , but be careful to not let Rubellite disrupt your very nice trend in using enemies that has personal connection with your characters, I find this trend one of the key features of your stories. It's a nice touch, so keep doing that. :)
So anyway. Nice chapter, and I see you have finally done half waking the senshis, I wonder what your nice step will be. (But don't spoil me, I'll gladly wait for your update. It's one of the thrill in following a story afterall.) Good luck writing and I'll wait to see your next update. ;D
| LatyfeSurLeSora chapter 13 . 2/25/2011
Interesting chapter. I can tell you've tried to improve from the previous one.
| LatyfeSurLeSora chapter 12 . 1/12/2011
Your story's looking up, but I do have one thing to tell you. Try to make your chapters a little bit longer. Just a bit, right now they're way too short. Also No more of those role play styled talks at the start and end, those can easily get your story removed by site admins due to the site rules. A normal author's note at the start and end will suffice. Also add a disclaimer as often as you can b/c even that can be treated as rule breaking.
| Khmyh chapter 12 . 12/22/2010
You updated! Yay!
Oooo, love to see more Diana and Kamekichi interaction, and does Diana have split personality? Or is she just good at acting? One second ago shouting at the turtle, the other second speaking formally. LOL
Looking forward to see what going to happen in Minako's concert.
(Don't spoil me in the PM this time. ;D)
| Khmyh chapter 11 . 11/21/2010
Nice surprise to see you uploaded two new chapters after a busy week! It seems you really got over your block. Congrats! And congratulation on finding yourself a beta as well. Beta really helps.
Now for the main review itself... First of all, wow, it's quite a surprise to see how Kamekichi is different than the other guardians, being so impish and pranking on his charge all the time. Pretty sure he'll make a good partner in crime with
And LOL when Rina smacked Reika at the back of her head.
Love the battle in chapter 11 where you made all chibis face their fear, especially the family idea. It's really intense.
Suggestion... the only thing I can really think of is maybe you should do all your A/N at the end or at the start of the chapter, and not in between lines, because that breaks the flow. Like when I was reading the battle and was so excited and things were so intense seeing Danburite, then the tension broke because I read your AN talking about my story and I went on thinking how sweet of you to mention me. XD
It's a good thing, and I REALLY appreciate it, but I rather have the tension keep on building up while reading.
Oh, and one more thing. I see how you included a lot more humor into the story now. Enjoyed reading those, keep up the good work! ;)
| LatyfeSurLeSora chapter 5 . 9/28/2010
No offense to you but nothing NOTHING in the sailor moon world could stand against Princess Sailor Moon. Not even Galaxia. Why did Tammy get all the action?
Simple Continuity Questions:
1: Chibiusa's official name back in her own time is Usagi Small Lady Serenity why would you change that?
2: What happened to the star and crystal powers of the sailors of the present time? You could just have awakened one of those to avoid dragging the story out (I started reading this hoping it would be action-packed but you failed miserably to deliver that).
3: Where is Prince Demand?
4: Will you have Black Lady in this?
Complaint due to lack of ability to imagine it:
The chibi sailors shouldn't be anywhere near the ages they are. 10 would be a better choice of number.
Things you could have added/done to make the story better:
1: 10 year old chibi sailors instead of 14 year old ones.
2: Star Power or Crystal Power Upgrades for the present time sailors.
3: Family bonding rather than going straight to a battle that could potentially be the final one. I mean the Ayakashi sisters are gone now as is Rubeus all that is really left is Sapphir, Esmeraude and Demand if you don't use characters from the musicals like Aaron and Maana, Tilum of Spot, and etc.
4: Write the story at a slower pace. Rushing an action/adventure/romance story is never a good idea when all three happen to be featured in one. If its just romance rushing can be okay sometimes due to falling in love at first sight but rushing action or adventure stories usually turns out bad.
5: The outer sailors. You can never go wrong if you add Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Saturn. And Saturn doesn't have to destroy the world she could be Chibiusa's friend if you wanted and you could have her use her attacks that won't destroy the world.
Get a beta reader you need it, if only just a little.
Do not try to use honorifics if you don't know how they work.
If you're between 13-15 don't try writing something like this now. Try it in another 3yrs or write it and keep it on a flash drive so you can perfect it later and then upload it to this site because right now it is quite a mess.
| sailor-ice chapter 8 . 9/16/2010
Nice it's cool that all the chibis now have there own guardian Phobos is the best! Looking forward to next chapter!
| Khmyh chapter 8 . 9/12/2010
Oooooo. Exciting! Yay for Rei's power!
Rei not trusting you? Haha, you did kind of brought that upon yourself. ;D
And more stuff toys advisor? LOL.
I'm (of course) looking forward to more.
| James Birdsong chapter 7 . 9/10/2010
Maybe the four chapters are lovely.
| sailor-ice chapter 7 . 8/27/2010
Woah nice I'm going to miss chibi dark mercury but I loved her background story sucks about the sister but that metallia was able to hide out in ami very interesting and woah pikachu was not expecting that well I look forward to learning more about the other chibis
| Khmyh chapter 7 . 8/27/2010
Interesting plot so far. But you do have quite a bunch of characters... if it's not too much, you should try to think about how to balance them.
| amixnephritereixjadite chapter 3 . 8/27/2010
love the story but can you add rei and jedite as a couple
love the plot
| sailor-ice chapter 4 . 8/8/2010
Nice haha like all the girls haha I think a little more about minakos training woulda been nice but thats just cuz I like her haha I'm surprised ami had trouble her training reminded me more of bending but yeah it's all good can't wait for the by fight
| Khmyh chapter 4 . 8/8/2010
Love the chapter. Looking forward to more. And MAN! I thought I commented when I first read the story. Must've been on my itouch, that's why I was too lazy to login and review back then. And don't worry about the copy thing, but I PM-ed you anyway. ;D
| James Birdsong chapter 3 . 7/22/2010