Reviews for The Queen's Last Thoughts
Guest chapter 1 . 6/3/2014
Wait...didn't they just ban soup just because of a rat?
MistressPuppetShow chapter 1 . 4/20/2014
...not much thought then what I was hoping for but you were a kid so no bashing but I will say "Why only one thought of the queen? I thought this was about the queen's thought! I don't see any part of being in her head." Yeah sorry
bkaddictjk chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
Well, this was a good idea; but it had a lot of run-on sentences, grammer mistakes, and no spacing... It would be nicer to read in paragraph form. I suggest that you ask someone (like an adult) to read your fics before you put them on here?

But this was actually pretty good for a debut at writing, I think that you could add a little more detail, like how the soup tasted.

Oh, and one more thing, Do Not Be Afraid Of Commas!

Write On!
roxifoxi chapter 1 . 1/26/2012
nnnooooooooooooooooooot baaad
Moon Shawdow's Saint chapter 1 . 9/4/2011
most of thats not thoughts. its more like the backstory.
Bookworm Apple chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
Ummm...not bad, kid! Just separate some things through paragraphs. It's hard to do so at first, but you'll get used to it. Paragraphs will make it easier to read.
Superfan chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
Goo awkward story
Herz von Silber chapter 1 . 1/12/2011
First off, I'd like to say you have a really good idea. I'm glad you're posting on here, and please do continue to. I agree with Kristina Charleson, practice does make perfect! One thing you should try to work on, though, is run-on sentences. It's really easy to fix, and it makes all the difference. I'm not trying to bash you at all, and I really hope you keep writing more stories! I tell everyone how they can improve on here, it's nothing against you. Good job on the story!

Herz von Silber
Wisdomlistens chapter 1 . 10/28/2010
WOW! this is awesome!
Anaiese Von Claire chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
This could be a very interesting start to a story similiar to The Tale of Despereaux. Write more! Practice makes perfect. :)
Acro111 chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
Interesting, very intersting i do have to say this though isn't the rats name in the book Chiaroscuro? Or are you using your own rat? Cause i pretty sure its Roscuro that killed her. Other then that its great!