|Reviews for One Last Spark|
| Kelp-it-up chapter 27 . 9/11
Izumi was dead by the time that Alphonse used Wrath to open the Gate.
| ToLazyToSignIn chapter 12 . 8/28
Or its that chick from way back when, but there is no way that that would be possible since shes been dead for god knows how long. And there is no way they would be THAT FREAKING SIMILAR. And she probably would have been dead for god knows how long. OH AND SHE WOULD HAVE USED HER EARLIER! But this is just part 2 to my rant since i mentioned the clone thing. I made the connection after about the spite thing, literally right after i posted, but then i realized the similarities and that it would just straight up be.. well... Idiotic. Just that they would be THAT BLOODY SIMILAR. Anyway, that is all.
| TooLazyToSignIn chapter 13 . 8/28
Alright, so i was originally reading the rewrites and such and when it cut off because it needs to be updated, i went back here because i was curious. Scandalous, i know. i would normally leave a huge, huuuuge rant about the story once i have finished it, but im technically actually reading the rewrites so im gonna cut off from this story now. But, i wanted to say something now that... well was nagging me. Specifically... Just.. The new homunculi. I mean.. Okay, they are literally bridging everything with their names. The originals did do this but really not this close, and while they arent the originals and its yours to make.. it bugs me. And im not saying it sucks, but i find it weird with their names and behavior. Spite practically keeps saying 'cuz im Spite' and ive only known her like two or three chapters. And Desire.. he just basically tried to rape Winry. His name is Desire but... Desire in itself is just wanting something badly. It doesnt directly translate to smexy times. Lust for anything should be what Desire is if it were coming down to names! Lust is a strong sexual want/desire/whatever! I mean, true the homunculus tied with their names but not this close and not all of them did! And i can already see where Spite is going, and while im sure its probably not EXACTLY this, i have a really weird feeling that its going to be that shes like a clone or something.. well not clone, thats not the right word at all or what i mean, but im gonna assume its going to be a similar situation to with how Edward and Wrath were. Except instead of an arm and a leg im assuming that she was created somehow with all the gate travelling and Dante wanted to do it to, as her name is funny enough, spite them. Its going to basically be the homunculous verion of her im assuming. And.. Seriously? I mean.. SERIOUSLY? WHERE DID SHE GET ALL OF THESE HOMUNCULUS'S?! I MEAN... it was barely preformed, hell the 7 she did get were years and YEARS apart. Its not as if she can pick them from a catalog, SO WHERE THE HELL DID SHE GET 7 ALREADY?! I mean, if they were all just hanging around and she knew they were, why didnt she get more than 7 before? And theres the fact that she would have.. how long was it? 4 years? 4 YEARS TO FIND 7 ARTIFICIALLY CREATED HUMANS THAT, WERE EXTREMELY RARE AND ARE ONLY CREATED THROUGH A HUGE TABOO THAT ONLY FEW HAVE ACTUALLY DARED TO DO. AND, CREATING A HOMUNCULOUS ISNT EASY EITHER, MOST THAT HAD CREATED ONE WERE LIKE ALCHEMY OBSESSED PEOPLE-ISH SO... AND IF ANYONE ARGUES THAT SHE COULD HAVE CREATED THEM, WHY WOULD SHE GO THROUGH THE ANNOYANCE OF CREATING A HOMUNCULOUS?! I MEAN, TRUTH COULD HAVE EASILY TRIED TO GET HER IF SHE EVEN DARED TO DO THAT, SHE PROBABLY WOULDNT BE ALIVE OR SOMETHING. AND SHE WOULDNT GO THROUGH THAT MUCH TROUBLE JUST TO MAKE ONE TOO. AND HOW DID SHE FIND THEM? WAS SHE JUST ACTIVELY SEARCHING THE WORLD FOR HOMUNCULOUS AND FOUND 7 MIRACULOUSLY?! And if you also argue that 'oh they were around for years', again, i think she would have found them before. and the stones keep them alive, they wouldnt know about the stones without her, so they probably would have died or something. And i feel like these homunculous are a little OP. i mean the others were OP too but they had their limits. I mean, teleportation AND alchemy? I mean im sure theres a reason behind it but COME ON! the only reason wrath could do alchemy was because he had the arm and leg. And, i mean... Im pretty sure being telekinetic doesnt mean you can move fire. No, the limits are drawn there im pretty sure. I mean.. fire isnt really.. i mean i dont have research on this but that just sounds wrong. Fire doesnt really have.. form..? Eh, hard to explain, and i could easily be wrong with that nitpick. And.. I mean, in the series at the beginning, the homunculus seemed pretty damn one-dimensional until later on but.. i mean.. They dont even seem to like her. I mean the others didnt really but they had goals and such and while im guessing its told later... I mean, just the way they act, they dont seem to really have anything. i mean, sure they follow orders but they dont seem the most motivated, ya know? And i know this is all going to get rewritten eventually and this is probably gonna get better later anyway, as ive only known a few of them for like 2 chapters, i still cant help but get annoyed. And while im not really giving them a chance i guess.. I dont know. i mean, i found the first and second well enough, i read the first only in the rewritten and switched to these after the fourth chapter in the second rewrite since it was done and i was curious. But this one.. just.. It seems rushed almost. Well, not rushed but it has a different vibe. i mean i read the second one in the full 'old' version or whatever and it felt fine but this one gives me the weird vibes. Like, while it is explained through her getting her attacks and all, Liz seems a lot weaker in this one, even considering her circumstances. im assuming this will eventually have a plot point as it was either forget or live through it, but still. Oh! and.. how the hell did she get whats her faces body? I mean she had all that crap on her, and i highly doubt her body would be in one piece or anything. Or.. not horribly mangled, or bloody. And while im confident she could repair any cuts or whatever, i have a feeling she wasnt the freshest when she found her. And.. WHY GO FOR HER?! I MEAN SHE WAS LIKE DEAD. WHY NOT JUST KIDNAP SOMEONE WHOS ACTUALLY.. YA KNOW?! I mean Dantes not really one for simplicity, she wouldnt be this difficult. And that chick was from a different world.. Well actually she could have taken the other version of her.. it still raises the question of why her i guess. I have the oddest feeling that the other version is dead. Or not in reach of Dante. And i could bring up the subject of Truth and the resurrection of the Homunculi, but that would just delve into another realm of madness that would probably just be answered later. So.. I guess thats it for now. i actually like this over trilogy, its just this last one is really poking me in a bad way. First half was okay, 7 and up were weird. I was half tempted to question why take her.. and her alone, instead of the brothers, i mean technically it was really just the brothers that really messed it up. But then i would have to shrug it off since it seems to be these stories trend. Which, is getting a little bit... repetitive, instead of 'ha ha she always gets kidnapped'. Nah, its not as if they could have easily kidnapped a bunch of the others where Dante could have exacted her revenge!.. No, not at all. Its not as if Malice could have just went in and out quickly without a problem, without talking or anything.. no.. But the show wasnt perfect either, but... i mean... I know its hard to come up with your own story-thing based off of something else but JEEEZUS! I mean.. god! I love this but it has so many weird flaws and plot holes (if they can be called that at least). this last one feels half-arsed i guess. I mean, im sure a lot of hard work was put into this, blood sweat and tears, but it just feels so weird in my gut. Like something was different when you were writing this. maybe you werent as into it. I mean its not half-arsed, thats not what im saying, but im getting that feeling of either when the writer isnt happy with what they wrote or if its half-arsed. you get the vibes. and as i said, im not saying its bad. Hell, i mostly had a blast while reading this. But.. Its just.. i dont know. i figured i would just give my current opinion, and while im sure everythings fine later, i unfortunately wont get to read it until the rewrite comes out because im stubborn and set in stopping now. I apologize as im not signed in so you cant reply or anything, but im kind of happy im not mainly because i feel bad for saying all this. Mainly cuz i enjoy this story, but it feels like something that would be written by a very young person. Like, 'oh ed and al defeated them but now they gotta face the new ones!'. very.. kiddish feel. Not that its like.. uncreative or anything, but i feel like this would be the story behind something like a kids toy.. well.. Minus all the angst.. i guess. this has gone on long and its hard to describe what i mean, but take happiness in that i enjoyed this, even though i kind of ranted pretty badly there... Sorry! *huggles* i didnt mean it in a bad way, just critiquing.
| Kelp-it-up chapter 40 . 6/26
Tears are the greatest weapons against men!
| Kelp-it-up chapter 39 . 6/26
Hehehe, to the next base we go!
| Kelp-it-up chapter 29 . 6/26
I KNOW WHO REGRET IS! ITS HUGHES ISNT IT?!
| Kelp-it-up chapter 24 . 6/26
I really dont like Winry in this story.
| Kelp-it-up chapter 2 . 6/26
PLEASE! Let this one have a happy ending.
| Ryan chapter 55 . 2/12
Bravo, bravo and well done! Not sure if I reviewed the first two books, but just in case I didn't: this whole trilogy is wonderful! For some reason, EnvyxOC fics seem to be really well written, and I don't know if that holds in general, but it certainly holds for you! Sure, there were a few typos here and there, but the OC's were so well-written and interesting, and the canon characters were so spot-on, that a few spelling and grammar issues are a very minor demerit.
Also, I love how you mixed in some Brotherhood elements, like the Briggs reference and Truth. Especially Truth, he/she/it is awesome!
Easily one of my favorite FMA fics thus far. And a trilogy at that! And Dante finally gets what's coming to her. Good riddance!
Awesome characters, awesome story. I laughed, I cried, I shook my fists and ground my teeth. It takes talent to evoke such emotions from me in a story, but you have definitely succeeded. Thanks for such a wonderful experience! Cheers!
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/6
OK sorry this is not a review I just have a few questions. U seem pretty in depth with this fan fiction stuff but I was wanting to create a fully original piece, do u know a website I can do that on bcuz idk if this is a site just for spin offs. Also do u have any pointers on the creating an anime?
| Lady Elvira chapter 55 . 11/19/2014
Well, out of all your Lightning Strike series, this on is my absolute favorite! The other parts of that series are great, too, but then again, I prefer to get surprised by
a – to me completely unknown – plot; like it was the case with this. The plot is absolutely great!
New homunculi, who only serve to set up a trap due to ritual murders in order to satisfy Dante's cravings for revenge … That's indeed quite a smashing idea and I was captivated from the very first chapter.
By that, I am also quite fond with the homunculi themselves; that they only get along with each other partially and that Dante's keen on avoiding any friendship between them. Yet their portrayal's just great; not too nice since some of them are real bad-ass but just right!
Fear, for example, was my favourite amongst them. Always quick to give an ironic remark and being gifted by quite a cool ability as a homunculus. Her ability to let other ones see their greatest fears and also being able to morph her arm into "scary" things is really thoughtful! As well as giving her some very profound weaknesses, along with her remains …
But I also like the abilities of the other homunculus. And even though they were set up quite well, their origin surely was obvious, at least if one was paying attention. Due to that, the human part of Judgment, Spite and Arrogance were identified quite easily. Not that this did affect the reading by any means …
However, Desire, Regret, Arrogance and Malice were not so bad themselves. Desire did really live up to his name; it was a shame that we didn't get to know more about him.
Regret, on the other hand, well, let's just say, I was as good as convinced that he's Timmy. But that was long before Judgment mentioned him to be "like a father" to her. Everything was clear then.
I was just wondering why he – back as Maes Hughes - didn't try to profit from the fact that the other homunculi thought he was still Regret. Couldn't he have gained an effort by that?
Anyway, Arrogance surely was manipulating. But someone as annoying as him only could have been suspect … and then again, he did resemble Pride quite a lot. I am still fascinated how you manage to use his seeming clumsiness to create the transmutation circle that would destroy homunculi … and thereby poor Greed. The latter one seems to have a thing in falling for that, mhm?
Malice … well … he surely did appear like a mystery to me and that almost till the very end. At is was a real shock! Especially since I've almost given up hope back then to hear from Timmy ever again … but his presence surely explained Lori's doings back then …
Correct me if I am wrong: Malice was the one who could perform teleport, no? Why didn’t he use that while fighting Wrath and Envy? It is not like any of his remains would have slowed him down back there …
While reading the first and the second fanfictions of yours I came to like the idea of Envy being fascinated by a mere human girl – Kristen. Thereby, I was quite thrilled to see "Spite" in action – her comeback surely made him brood a lot. At the beginning, it was quite interesting to see how much alike to Liz she was. But after some time, it became the tiniest bit annoying. She even had daggers like Liz! Luckily, Liz did confront Envy about my sorrows and his reassurance that he liked Liz for herself – and just for herself – was completely sweet . I was melting, literally. Also nice to see that you've gave reference to Envy's sin – might be a good idea to make him an expert in jealousy ;)
It is quite an extraordinary idea that you've came up with an idea for changing homunculi back to human-beings … by simply continuing the transmutation circle. There you think it cannot get better and then you think of something like THAT. Seriously. Where do you take those ideas from? They are brilliant!
Yet it occurred me while neither Liz nor one of her clique tries to reverse any of the "evil" homunculi.
I get it while Envy was voting for Maes back then; his motivations surely got vivid. In relation to that it is a marvelous extra that Truth had a proper amount of screen-time in there. He did change everything for the better - isn't that awesome?
Not only did he re-awaken the "old" homunculi but due to him Liz was able to use alchemy without a transmutation circle, getting back her strength by him removing her scar and ultimately defeating Dante. What a showdown! Especially since it involved an attack on behalf of Drachma ... Hui. Nicely done.
Envy, as the self-claimed homunculi leader, however, really had an interesting price to pay. A price that would continue to bring him into conflict with his actions – mainly Hughes. Not only that, but Envy was able to show compassion to one we would have most probably not expected him to – Hohenheim. Envy's research about the new transmutation circle involved his father quite an awful lot and you’ve made it very vividly how much this infected both the Elric brothers as well as Envy himself . Wonderful input :) Especially since they were obviously able to finally close this chapter …
Like I've said: It got comprehensible why Envy was trying to bring Hughes back. But why not the other homunculi as well? Was the hatred against them that big? Fear killed Thomas, after all … and Malice was far from ever being close to Liz' little sweet brother again. Spite would have only caused havoc to Liz and Envy's relationship; and Arrogance and Desire would have also only invoked chaos. Putting it this way, I see your point. But what about Nina? She was way too nice to be true, even as a homunculus …
It was sad, of course, that so many of the characters had to leave so soon – yet, you've managed to handle to problem of "character population" quite well, haven't you?
So as sad as it was; it only proved well for the plot afterwards. Furthermore, I like it that you have distinguished so nicely between the deaths of the good guys and the bad guys. Enough tears and grudges for the first ones to make it sound realistic, enough careless attitudes to let the second one appear justified.
And you really had a lot of characters – and oddly enough, I sympathized with almost everyone!
Even – or rather especially – your OCs. Brandon and Kendra appear to be very sweet and Lucy's just hilarious! The perfect match for sweet not-so-innocent-anymore Al! Speaking of Al: He was really in character. And so were Ed and Winry. It was just obvious that Liz had to play Amor for those two … lucky us!
My most favourite OC scene with the not-alchemists-and-not-homunculi-either's was the birth of baby Thomas. Brandon fading, Envy and Wrath gone into hiding, Liz shaking … and only Lucy and Lust to deal with it. Wonderful!
Apropos Thomas: My, oh, my.
You gave Liz a very detailed background and I appreciate that you've take so much notice of handling her revenge-day's so appropriate. Then again, it was obvious that she wasn't put into the world like that; sure she must have got family and friends somewhere.
Not only is she the niece of Izumi(!) out of all people, but the cousin to Thomas. He seems to be genuinely sweet and I highly approved your regard to the Drachma-incident-textbook-scene regarding his final demise. That was the cherry on top.
Lori's part wasn't as much heroic as Thomas' – not in the slightest. Then again, her character was swaying between compassion and dislike on my part, even though I admired her complexity. Death was probably the best for her.
Before I totally lost myself into rambling and being thrilled I'll switch to my new OTP now: Envy and Liz. I am so glad you've decided to write a spin-off! It's already on my to-read list!
Envy and Liz' relationship was probably one of the most complex ones around. And you've done really impressive by turning former arch-enemies into lovers …
There was not a single moment where this pairing did appear unrealistic. Moreover, they are complementing each other so perfectly! Due to Liz, Envy was finally able to acknowledge his past and his emotions and to show compassion.
And due to Envy, Liz was finally able to let go of her self-blaming.
It was just terribly lovely to see how fierce Envy was when it came to prevent Liz from any danger – and vice versa. Save for the fact that I couldn't stop squealing when they were kissing _
But overall, the greatest proof of love on behalf of Envy was the fact that he wants to get human – for her. You can imagine my fangirling now, can you? That was just the perfect idea to let them stay together forever … and luckily, none of them ever get too cheesy when being around each other. It's more likely for them to be constantly involved in bickering – that's what I probably like best about them.
And you’ve also bring Lust back – as a human that is. And she has even started to date Havoc … Aww :3
To cut a long story short: I love almost everything about this series! Be it Liz' sympathetic character, the titles you've chosen, Dante's portrayal, the authoress' notes involving the talkative characters, the romance or the fact that you didn't make Liz too perfect but "took" her alchemy as Envy stabbed her … I could continue this on and on …
In short: You've got a new fan :)
Hopefully, I will have the time to read from you soon!
| just saying chapter 37 . 11/7/2014
HUGHES IS BETTER AT BEING A HOMUNCULUS THAN A LIVING BEING
| KatieKaboom713 chapter 30 . 9/27/2014
Aaaand I was right. Godammit. *bangs head on table*
| KatieKaboom713 chapter 29 . 9/27/2014
I think I know who Regret is. Can I just say...WHAT. IN THE /HEEELLLLL/. IS WRONG. WITH. YOU.
Also I'm freaking loving this series!
| mayyyter chapter 20 . 7/8/2014
this is the first time I have seen my name anywhere that doesn't include being Dumbledore's mother, so thanks you