|Reviews for Umbra|
| 56th Reg. Sergeant Epps Hande chapter 9 . 3/22/2011
Luthienne! She was the survivor of ISV-Kran who fought in the Tournament, isn't she?
| Darksource chapter 1 . 11/7/2010
| Thug-4-Less chapter 7 . 9/7/2010
Very nice! The Skaarj's utter contempt for humans is funny and continues to baffle me. I guess that goes with their racial superiority complex though. They all think they're better than everyone around them, including their own people, so if one of their flunkies/cohorts get killed by a Terran it was probably because that chode wasn't tough enough.
Now, I'm all excited about what's going to happen next!
Thanks for sharing!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 6 . 9/6/2010
Another awesome chapter! Short but oh so sweet.
Rhiannon got a little plucky for a little bit and I have to say that I liked it. I did find her blabber about the Marine busting a fat cap in those douches kinda weird but she's not exactly right in the head. Mach is such a damn weinny though. My God. How did he even survive civilization, let alone the No Man's Land that is Na Pali.
I noticed this one bit:
"...they had to be close to water because the tunnel reeked of the smell of fish and mud" -To say that something "reeks" connotates the sense of smell so saying "the smell of" is kind of redundant.
Thank you for sharing!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 5 . 8/17/2010
"...standing but leaning to the side..." -Maybe 'hunched over' would have worked better. This seems a bit wordy.
It was a shorty but oh so good.
The mysterious Marine's dialogue is short and to the point. It reminds me of Kurt Russell's as Sgt. Todd in Soldier. Soft-spoken and to the point even when discussing dire stuff. Far more sarcastic though. Lol. The last line really killed me.
All-in-all, a great chapter. I noticed these kerfluffles though:
"...the bone-deep slash on its side." -'In its side'. If it's bone-deep then it's definitely inside. 'On' makes me think 'surface'. But that could just be me.
"...the Terran that had slashed him face..." -Lol. I was confused for a minute. I could see you using 'him face' in speech since we're talking about Skaarj but I was like 'Nobody's talking!' Heh.
"His snarling question could only be understood to the Terran..." -'by the Terran' works better.
Thanks for sharing!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 4 . 8/16/2010
I can't believe Machiel fell for the old bait-and-switch. What a dumbass!
Btw, I loved the opening line about the two being like a pair of scolded dogs. It was an awesome image to open the scene on.
You have a way with cliffhangers and that's a fact.
I wonder who could possibly have saved them. Heheheh. :D
| Thug-4-Less chapter 3 . 8/4/2010
A short one but a good one. You really describe the panoramic vistas of the planet so well that I'm almost there. Very well done.
I laughed uproariously at the image of the tiny lizard with a four-foot hunk of meat in its mouth. Haha. That cheeky little bastard.
Rhiannon really is freakin' stupid but she is an Office of a commercial starship, so I shouldn't expect too much.
Thanks for writing!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 2 . 7/27/2010
Who could that lone figure be, I wonder! Oh, I'm buzzing with anticipation. I'll say it again, you really know how to craft a bitchy character. Lol. Mach's description of Rhiannon had me LOL'ing all over the place.
Excellent work, 'Juicy!
| Sheepchi chapter 1 . 7/27/2010
You always know how to fill out a world-I'm totally unfamiliar with the story of this game, but even then, I don't feel anything lacking from the world, because your descriptions are so complete. Wonderful work, as always.
| Thug-4-Less chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
I'd have to give you an A for your descriptions in this one, 'Juicy. I could practically smell the ozone and twisted metal as I read it.
You also, as always, did a bang-up job with the character interaction. Though, I have to say, you've once again made a character I love to hate. Man, that Ries woman is a massive bee-otch!
Thanks for writing!