|Reviews for Falsebound Reality|
| RPMercenary chapter 2 . 5/25/2012
Glad to see this story didn't end with the Prologue chapter. I must say that hijacking the autonomous robo was a rather clever idea. (Forewarning: The story is worth continuing, but I have a tendency to nitpick. What follows from here on is meant to be constructive criticism in hopes that the story will continue.) There are a few inconsistencies with the universe, like a human being able to tear apart a robo by hand, but they weren't too heavily present to be bothersome.
There are occasional misuses of homonyms ("Their" instead of "There"), and just one noticeable stumble with the verb tense: "...agreed (simple past tense) to the plan and had waited (past perfect) for night. It was now (typically used when recounting events in present tense, not sure what tense that is called though) ..." and then continuing in past tense. But other than that, your verb tense was consistently set in the past, as far as I noticed.
The prison security seemed a little lax to say the least, but the story would have come to a quick and definite conclusion if it was too tight. And hey, what prison break story would be complete without incompetent guards? Last nitpicky detail that doesn't even really matter, but it normally takes 40-60 minutes to swim a mile, which in itself is exhausting. Swimming for hours on end (without extensive physical training) sounds beyond their ability, far longer than needed to cross a river, and gives the prison security plenty of time to catch them by boat or blockade.
And that's all for my critique. Despite the things that can be improved, this chapter is evidently well thought out and written, and the story is very worth continuing. I hope to see more in the future!
| Kaykat chapter 2 . 8/13/2010
Hmmm... quite nice I have to say. A lot better than the original you sent me! I like this one a lot, and hope you'll update soon!
| RPMercenary chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
It sounds like it will be interesting. I look forward to reading your story as it unfolds.