|Reviews for Daughter of Rivendell|
| Marcus S. Lazarus chapter 10 . 8/18/2012
VERY interesting, to say the least.
The introduction of your new enemy is certainly promising, reflecting a foe with Sauron’s ambition and less of a sense of ‘melodrama’, willing to essentially trust another rather than rely on an inanimate object that could fall into the hands of another, even as the scale of his ambition demonstrates Sauron’s own key mistake of underestimating what his enemies will do.
The optimism and hope of Arwen’s pregnancy- particularly the amusing twist of Gimli deducing the truth before even Legolas does- provides an effective contrast to the grim mood of Gandalf and Galadriel’s subsequent conversation, and the history of Melkor is highly engaging, clearly establishing him as a chilling and dangerous foe even without the revelation of his full plan in Galadriel’s vision.
Giving Arwen and Eowyn a chance to take action on their own is a simple but brilliant decision, and you expertly explore their strengths and their new friendship as they confront such diverse threats as the spiders while the reformed Fellowship can only follow and hope they get there in time to make a difference, to say nothing of Melia being a rather interesting new character in her own right, continuing the tradition of strong women in the series while giving her an interesting new background and skills.
Admittedly, the timing seems a bit questionable at times- I find it hard to imagine that Arwen and Eowyn made it from Minas Tirith to the Shire in less than a month; I always got the impression the two locations were far more separated from each other than that-, but that aside the new quest is definitely effective, culminating in a final showdown in an original location that neatly uses both the old and new members of the temporarily expanded and reunited Fellowship to great extent, ranging from Legolas and Melia’s team-up to Frodo and Sam’s role using the stealth tactics they developed in Mordor.
Kind of sad that this marks the only time the Fellowship will be even close to completely intact in this series, but at least you gave them a grand send-off against a truly exceptional foe with a moving final conclusion; keep up the great work!
| GOGreen13 chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
I love this story so last line is the best" wHAT ABOUT Bill?" is hilarious!I really like the ending and how Eowyn and Arwen are friends and have rarely happens!
| GOGreen13 chapter 6 . 4/25/2007
Awesome chapter!i love this story!
| GOGreen13 chapter 2 . 4/23/2007
| GOGreen13 chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
awsOME plotline!Very ORIGINAL!i love things that r totally unexpectedlike this!
| Katherine chapter 5 . 8/6/2006
Hey! I really like your stoy! I thik that is well thought out and put togeter but there are some small things that I noticed in this chapter that I thought I could help you on if you are intrested. I am kind of a type of editor and noticed some things that I thought I should tell you. I know that when I write something I am always trying to make it better and the final draft never remains such for long! lol Im sure you know what I mean. Okay well lets start at the start...
(I think this is chapter tow or three)
"...but there is something about the Enemy that does not allow him to use the Palantir as fully as (it he) should." okay in this quoit you use it and he, it dosent make much since to say both and maybe you were trying to decide which one to use and put them both in there on accident. As I didnt cut out the entire sentence If you wish to change this the I would look for the subject and If it is the Palanitr the use it and if it is M then use he.
"and to think I saved you from (the) Orcs." When Legolas says this I think that it would sound better if you cut the out. When you say the orcs it is like you are talking about them in general (ex. The elves (all elves inclusice) the Valar, ect). By making it just "I saved you from orcs" your are saying that Legolas didnt save Gimli for all the orcs theat ever came to exist but just a select few.
'Legolas, who was seated beside him, muttered something in Elvish that Aragorn did not wish to translate nor let be made known publicly. (He did not know the Elves knew such words.)'
Okay this I know is in chapter three! lol Okay it is the last part that I am conserned with. If the words were in elvish then the elves DID know these words. I would change it to "He did not know that the elf new such words" that way you are talking about Legolas, not elves in general.
"And I as well mother," Elrond said with just as much fear as Aragorn now. First of all I may be really wrong on this one because I am much more into grammer ect then learning family lines but I am pretty sure that it was Elronds wife who was the daughter of Gal. and Cel. not Elrond. I thought that she was travling to see them in LothLorien when she was captured by the orcs. Also Elrond is half elven. Gal and Cel are both full elves so I have no idea where the human blood came from unless Gal has been a little promiscuous! lol
Are they talking about the quest infront of everyone? Okay when the scene where Gal and Gand (you love the nick names dont you?) are telling Aragorn and crew about the whole quest deal I thought that they were haveing a public meal and if not with members of the court and other distinguished guests then wouldnt there be at lest guards of servents? Perhaps you should add in something where Aragorn asks the servents to leave or something like that because they are trying to keep melkor and gang from finding out that they know. I would look over that because you have some key characters that need to be there but the whole public breakfast chat isnt quite working for me. lol
'"Undoubtedly, she was worrying whether or not it was right to take Eowyn," Gandalf ventured a guess.' Okay you start with Undobtedly and end with ventured a guess. Gaf is sure in his opinion other wise he wouldnt have said undobtedly. ventured a guess is a good description but I dont think it quite works here. I really like how you used Undobtedly because it makes it a fact. That works really well with the devolopment of the conversation.
"Your consideration to you king is admirable," Legolas glared at him. Okay I believe the him is Gimli. Aragorn is not Gimlis king even though he is lord of the glittering caves and all that because I think Gimli already has a king of sorts dose he not?
"The halflings Pippin and Merry watched his end," Arwen said softly. "The halflings Pippin and Merry watched his end," Arwen said softly. Okay this is just a repeat. Not that big of a deal.
'Shelob had met her end at the hands of Samwise Gamgee and though Eowyn did not think that this was she, it did not lessen the danger.' Sam didnt kill Shelob he just hurt her really badly. Oh by the way this whole spider business was really cool. I loved the description of the bodys in the web and adored how you opened everything up with the bird. That was really cool!
Eowyn saw its intent and jumped herself, sliding beneath its form across the floor, coming to a halt only after it had landed in the place where she had been. I dont think Eowyn jumped herself, but hey who knows!. I think you mean that she jumped, sliding beneath its form...
When the Wargs attack:
Merry... being as good as Gimli? I'll be honest, Im not sure if I buy that one. Gimli is a trained fighter that has doing this for prob. 50 or more years. Merry while I love him do death just learned how to hold a wepon like what a few years ago by your time line. He may be good but I think that the best thing he has going for him is his guts!
You did a really good job with Celeborn. I loved that you incorporated why he stayed behind and didnt make his and Gal relationship so idealistic. It was real for me. I also loved how you decribed Gal more conserned with out side of Lort. and Cel looking more after his people. The only prob I had with that part is how you said that he was friends with everyone in Lorien. That I find hard to believe. Knowing them well yes. But being friends usualy involves both parties sharing personal information at one point or another and you said at the start fo the conversation that he was glad to finnlay have some one to talk to. (aka Arwen) But other than that excilent job.
I dont kno if Eowyn would be so open wiht haldir. They are trying to travel in secret and its not like she knows him personally so I dont think she would say everythig about their quest. Maybe jsut say that it is time sensitive and then he can say something about already knowing what it is about. The he can gave another reason to be angery with her because she dosent trust him. (Him of all people! The nerve of her! lol)
Arwen was aware of her attempts to hide her weariness and often feigned needing rest herself when she saw Eowyn was in need of it, just so that he companion would agree to pause.
You are missing the r on her. "... just so that her companion..."
The horse thundered forward, following Eowyn and also their rescuer into the forest... Maybe following Eowyn and their rescuer would sound better and just omitt the also.
I didnt grab the quoits for these but I also wanted to say really good job with Elrond. I loved how you described him as a by the book person, instead of a hard father. I really liked that. I thought you did a really good job with him. um... I know I had more to say but I forgot! Over all I think this fic is really well done and well written and I must say I like the plot so far! I hope that this was helpfull despite my bad spelling and abr for names! If you take my advice would you email me, or even if you dont email me as to why you dont think so so I can get a better feel for the story! Thanks and Lots of love!
| Jane's dead dream chapter 10 . 4/11/2005
Incredible! what a great story! the way you describe the characters is magnific! I'm in love with your style! YOU ROCK!
| moony's myatery chapter 7 . 12/19/2004
mithril and Nazgul, no 'a' and no 'h'
i have to keep up my pretense of a thriteen year old bloody english teacher you know?
| Lynn chapter 10 . 12/28/2003
That was really great. You really managed to write the characters both believable and exiting. Good work.
| EvenstarFairy chapter 10 . 10/25/2003
aw... happy ending!
| EvenstarFairy chapter 6 . 10/25/2003
wow, i could really imagine the scene with the stone giant!
y does haldier seem so mean in ur story?
| EvenstarFairy chapter 3 . 10/24/2003
| EvenstarFairy chapter 2 . 10/22/2003
o... sounds like ladies kickin' ass again!
| EvenstarFairy chapter 1 . 10/20/2003
o... i think i can guess his plans...
| Orioncat chapter 10 . 10/4/2003
Now I know that this story is like more than a year old, but since the whole savvy jack thing, I have been reading your stories. One of the questions we were always asking her was the back story of this quest that was always being brought up but never explained. This story is so awesome I was blown away. Every single chapter was better than the next. The adventures were so exciting and fun. I felt like I was there. I really enjoyed all the interaction of the characters and dialogue. I just cannot believe that I did not see this story before. I am so happy that I had a chance to read it because I really believe that is one of the best stories on the website. Not only were you so very true to Tolkien in respect to history and creatures but your writing was interesting and interacting. Every single scene was so expertly described and placed before me. You have become one of my favorite authors. I am now reading the true story that was stolen from you, The Easterling. Well I hope everything is going ok with you and you will not have to worry about anymore authors who steal. It happened for reason though because I would have never come across your wonderful stories. All the Best and God Bless!