|Reviews for The Auditon|
| JEREMY chapter 3 . 3/2/2014
...and the rest is Alternate History.
| Bialywhoos chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
So far this is pretty good. I don't know too much Cabaret (shame, I know), but I have seen the Chicago movie, so I have an idea of what's going on. This was a good introduction to the story, and I like how Roxie and Sally meet without the situation sounding too contrived. That's a gripe I have with a lot of crossovers, but you avoided it, so kudos!
I do have a few suggestions, though. As far as style goes, I think you should vary up your sentences a bit in length and structure. They all seem the same and very stiff, so that could make the writing a bit more interesting and fun to read. Another thing is the dialogue - I think you need to work on making it reflect the character more. A lot of it felt like anyone could say these things, and that they weren't special to Sally or Roxie. It makes it a bit stale after awhile. If you make their dialogue unique to their characters, it will make it much better. Just watch the movies again, or at least the scenes they're in, and try to pick up on what makes their lines different than all the other characters, then incorporate that into the story.
Also, just a question . . . why Boston? It just seems like a random location, considering Sally's from Berlin and Roxie's from Chicago. I would think it would make more sense if Sally moved to Chicago or Roxie moved to Berlin for some reason, but hey, it's your story.
There's a few typos in here, too, but if you just read it over again you should catch them. They're obvious.
Anyway, nice beginning. :) I'll put this story on my alerts list so I can review more chapters.