Reviews for His Victoire, All Grown Up
ajhalecullen chapter 1 . 8/24/2011
Awww! That was so sweet! I loved it :D

Good job!
NeverBeenDarkMarked chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
Awww... I loved this so much :D It was a really sweet scene, and Victoire's "shut up" was so perfect for the moment. Thank you for this, it's lovely.
Ninja Potter chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
Perfect last line! Ah, I love a good Teddy/Victoire story though I loath the nickname Vicki. That was the only negative thing. I love how this went along with the Epilogue! Great job and keep writing!
lydiamaartin chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Before I start, I have to say that Teddy/Victoire is absolutely my OTP. I mean, I'm one of their biggest fans. But I'm always critical of stories about them because I'm always thinking that everybody writes them wrong XD It's a common NextGen-writer failing, I'm afraid.

That said, this was absolutely brilliant and lovely! Your Teddy was so adorable-I want me one of those! D The humor was well-placed and enjoyable and James, of course, was just fantastic.

Amazing job, and keep writing!
sidex chapter 1 . 12/26/2010

i love your teddy. this is really good, and i liked the flashback. great job!
xxx-angelin-xxx chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
This was brilliant!

Title: It's kind of awkward and not the 'wow' title someone would like to see and I would want with this story. However it suits the fic so- 4 points.

Prompt: It seemed forced at the end where you used it in Teddy's words. Other than that you used it perfectly with all the memories and the thoughts- 4 points.

Grammar/Punctuation: Just great- 5 points.

Overall fic: Brilliant, have I told you? I loved it! Teddy's thoughts, memories, words... I love how he loves her, I love how he thinks she doesn't love him back and I love how she does- 5 points.

Total: 19/20

{Results will be up on September 1st. Please visit the thread on HPFC. Thanks for participating}
RoseScor90 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010

First of all, congratulations on choosing a canon incident and making a great story out of fit.

Now for the points part, the title was good and fitting so a 4.5, the prompt was used very well so a 5 for that. The grammar and punctuation were perfect so a 5 for that. As for the overall fic, I really liked how you made a good balance between Teddy and Victoire, not letting either of them dominate the fic, so a 5 for that too!

That makes a total of 19.5/20!

All the best!
controlled climb chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
I like your title! It really suits how you used flashbacks in the piece. - 5

Your prompt used seemed a little bit forced, and wish you had just gone with the flow a little bit - made it seem more natural. However, you did use your prompt well, and it worked - no matter how awkward I found it. - 3

The grammar in the piece was pretty decent. Just remember that in front is two words, not one.

-She went to touch his shoulder, Teddy flinched away. -

Here, it would have been a lot better as two sentences, instead of one.

There are some instances where your comma use is off, also.

I found that used a lot of "..." I don't think you needed them in most cases, and it did take away some of my enjoyment.

- 2.5

Overall, I loved the idea you used. The flashbacks were good, and I definitely enjoyed reading this piece. Reflecting on my previous comments, and a few jerky flow moments, I'll give you a 3.5 overall. I found that you could have expanded a bit more in some instances, though I did like the you portrayed Teddy's feelings.

Your final score is 14. Good job!
SoUsay234 chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
This was a really great piece. You have a rather interesting writing style 0S That's not bad though, it's just one that's hardly ever written well 0D Great job!
MadameCissy chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
This was cute. I love the torment he felt inside... how he questioned himself and made a fool out of himself. The tripping over I thought was a beautiful reference to his mother :-)

I like the fact it is like the other side of the story (because we see part of this when james tells harry and ginny). It was lovely.

Thank you.
ToReadandWrite chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
I think I fell in love when I saw you used an Evanescence song?
isigirl chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
very cute :)