|Reviews for An Unwanted Visitor|
| Hypnosys chapter 2 . 4/22/2012
wow it's the first (and I think it's the only) femslash about bridget and rebecca, I like it very much, but it's a shame that it's very short, anyway it's really cool
| everyme chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
lol I should have suspected that you would write some femslash between Rebecca and Bridget XD Well, it was somehow forced, but what the hell...
"I want to drown myself in self-pity" XD I liked that sentence.
There are a few grammatical errors, such as " Look, you are the least person I want to see". It has to be "the LAST person" because otherwise it would translate to "die wenigste Person" XD
"I heard that Mark dumped you".
" I HAVE heard/Ive heard" would be more correct, because in this situation Rebecca wants to emphasize a fact that relates to the past but affects the present as well. I know, english grammar is extremely confusing XD
But all in all, really amusing story. You should elaborate more on the mood of the characters and the whole scenario, though.