|Reviews for The winging of Miya|
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/17
Manaka - Minaka
You got his name wrong
| 7137 chapter 6 . 8/12/2015
Sorry you're done, liked the story. By the way, Katsuragi is #86, not #83
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/31/2014
I really liked this. Nicely done.
| Godric Kharg chapter 6 . 10/2/2014
Not bad. While I enjoyed the story as a whole, and a lot of the ideas you put into play I had wondered about even before finding the fanfiction website.
Your composition, to me at least, leaves a bit to be desired. It runs far to fast, and if described, narrated, and dialoged PROPERLY the story could have easily gone 10-15 chapters, and been. Inch easier to read. Instead it feels more rushed.
Punctuation, it needs fixing. To many commas, semi colons, etc I can get by if used wrong or too far in abundance. I think most readers could also... HOWEVER. Exclamations and question marks make the dialog so much more in the internal mind when it's being read.
I certainly like the maturing bit that you put forth, there is a lot in the series to suggest the sekerei are aged, prematurely I think, look at shiina and Ku, at least 4-6 years difference, of not more as Yukari would have been 17-18, a year younger than Minato... But they where batched together?
Musubi's simple ness I usually put down to carrying yume's tama/consciousness, as well as her own. Essentially making her work twice as hard to maintain concentration...
Anyways, you done good. Hope you consider a sequel to theism, but your profile hasn't been updated since 2010...
| Shadowsmage chapter 6 . 3/7/2014
Love this better then where the original is going, deeply disappointed but whatever, great story wish it was longer
| vienx.001 chapter 6 . 3/3/2014
thanks the story
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/1/2013
Well. This has been a trip. Honestly I'm not entirely sure I properly comprehend what I've read. Thank you, sir or madam for a well-written story.
| ethan.lukkar chapter 6 . 10/12/2013
Magnificent chapter can't wait for more please update soon
| Biblio388 chapter 6 . 6/7/2013
Awesome! This fic rocks. I really enjoyed the story and the characters were very interesting in comparison to the manga. Really hope I get to read more from this author.
| Aena chapter 6 . 6/2/2013
Please continue, you've left me hanging on the edge of my seat.
| alex chutskoff chapter 6 . 5/16/2013
I NEED YOU TO CONTINUE THIS STORY! PLEEEEEEASE! THIS IS ONE OF TEH BEST SEKIREI FAN FICS IV READ I WANT YOU TO CONTUNUE PLEASE DONT BE INACTIVE BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY I JUST... LOVE IT!
| valdiusmacto chapter 6 . 3/12/2013
This is an interesting piece of work. Mostly do to your interesting extrapolation of the story. I must confess myself a bit disappointed that it's ends rather abruptly, even if I understand why it would be difficult to take it any further. Still, despite feeling in every respect(from relationships, to events) incomplete and unresolved, the excellent quality of the writing and cleverness of plot are still worth praise. I rather hope you someday either continue this(which I think somewhat unlikely) or take another stab at a fanfic for the series. There are far to few of any significant length or quality out there-(.
| NA6425 chapter 6 . 10/2/2012
nice story. I had played around with the idea of un-winging in my head. The ending was a little abrupt, but that aside it was good.
| Secaid chapter 6 . 9/2/2012
Too many run on sentences, use words inappropriately, and somewhat slanted view on binary opposition. Before you use terms and theorems, actually figure out what they mean, because instead of this story, which would have been a relatively amusing work of fiction, being a good read, it just turned into a game of trying to figure out the point you were trying to get across.
Also, get a beta reader, it would be better to have somebody else reading your story before you post it. A lot of your grammar errors were relatively simple, yet they turned a simple sentence into a annoying riddle that was a bit inconvenient to decipher.
| AnimeFreak505 chapter 6 . 8/27/2012
The ending should have been at least 2 chapters but otherwise I loved this story, sequel please?