|Reviews for Awakening|
| Zegi chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
Well this defently worth reading!
| DoktorApplejuce chapter 44 . 5/5/2012
Great Fanfic so far, but I should point out: Valern is the Slarian councilor, Sparatus is the Turian.
| DoktorApplejuce chapter 9 . 4/26/2012
So far, this story is coming along amazing. Before I continue reading, I just wanted to leave a quick critique.
I really like your writing, so far this has been one of the best (if not, THE best) action oriented ME fanfics I have read to date. There's just the right amount of romance involved in the story; not too much that it's cheesy, and not too little that it may as well been left out.
The only slightly negative thing I want to say, is maybe it would have been better to mention that Samara had left the ship earlier in the series. The way it is seems a little too sudden between mentioning she left to her returning.
By comparison to the rest though, that really is nothing. Keep up the amazing work, I look forward to reading more
| LordValmar chapter 55 . 4/3/2012
That was a good read. I admit, at first mention of the God stuff and I did start to wary (I'm just one of those types) but I stuck with it. It wasn't too bad. Rolled eyes a few times but all in all it was good. Ending was nice, liked the part with the Geth's project replacing the destroyed Citadel. I can see that working out. Your ending would had been vastly superior to what BioWare cracked out, that's for sure. Thank you for producing this great piece of work, I really enjoyed it.
| PyroRaptor chapter 53 . 3/4/2012
This twist was AMAZING. Up until the leaks on BSN I had trouble picturing ME3 ending in any other way... and from the looks of it, you wrote a far better ending than they did. Some spelling/grammar issues but none too disruptive. Excellent work!
| Captain S chapter 55 . 2/2/2012
Alright now for a real review and not a rant, Be warned the rest is criticism. Because of Shepard's faith he almost seems inhumanly pure even in his thoughts he only seems to doubt himself in the face of galactic extinction or death of a friend. I'd think that he had gone through a crisis of faith after the Skillian Blitz, if you wanted to give him an arc then you could interrupt the time after Thane's death so to convince himself on why his trust is well placed. Like a recollection of all the tough times god got him out of a hard place.
I might be remembering a different fanfic but did you happen to allude to a previous drinking problem? I think it took place in Deck 1's bathroom. If so then you could write this in into that chapter, which ever one it was.
Well I'm off to bother somebody else's fanfic with spelling but before I go I noticed on the last chapter this:
Tofeel, tosmellthe earthy must in the wind… Tali's mind exploded.
You left out some spaces and I wasn't sure if it was on purpose of not.
| Captain S chapter 44 . 2/1/2012
I'm not too sure if this is a mistake when you put it in context. This is either from this chapter or the one before, ctrl-f it to be sure.
The doctor winced. "Been meaning to get that."
| Captain S chapter 42 . 2/1/2012
Found another one, 'must' should be 'much'.
I'm sick of chasing you, Shepard. I want this to end just as must as you do.
| Captain S chapter 32 . 2/1/2012
Found another typo, I'm a little new to this website so if I have to become a beta reader to do this apologies. The type is that 'and' and 'away' at the end of the sentence probably should be flipped if you're trying to say what I think you're trying to say.
It was difficult to fathom that some in the flotilla were still considering war with the AIs when the Reapers were still far and away the more immediate threat.
| Captain S chapter 29 . 2/1/2012
Found a typo on chapter 29
Shepard entered the A.I. core only half certain of what he was about to do. Legion had given indications that the mainline Geth were not openly hostile to organics, but that did not an alliance make.
-at the end of the sentence.
| Captain S chapter 26 . 2/1/2012
So I've finally gotten to a computer to vent my opinion of a statement x something chapters ago that went something along the lines of "morals are nothing without religion". *sigh* I maintain the same morals I assume you value like 'no sex until marriage' and all that joy just fine without a strict belief or even a bedtime pray thank you very much. I guess I'm one of the few offended that's given a review but there's always a first.
Now that that's out of the way I'd like to say that if we disregard that point you did a pretty good job of sliding us into this new Shepard and how Tali reacts to him. I was initially a little off put by the daily prays thing it would be a plausible method of keeping sane with all the situations he's thrust threw. It just seems as a moral dilemma, the fate of the Rachni for example isn't very hard to figure out and it just matters how you've been conditioned into looking at it; who's the victim, how likely are they to be lying.
I do admit that from Shepard's point of view, after dealing with three gangs of drug dealers who get off on murder, he'd start to question the lack of integrity in the galaxies general populous but the morally apt he has meet couldn't all have had a faith.
| SmilingJack65 chapter 17 . 9/30/2011
I have to say I really liked the idea of the "kas" for Tali's name. Quarians only ever seem to add onto their pre-existing names rather than changing them. So, it always felt awkward to me in other fan-fics where Tali and Shep got married and Tali became Tali'Shepard. It just doesn't flow to me. The kas fixed that nicely though! I've thoroughly enjoyed your story thus far. I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of religion, but the religious elements of this story haven't really bothered me, they haven't de-railed or overpowered the main track of the story so that's fair enough for me. Again, nice work on this fic.
| OrderlyAnarchist chapter 55 . 9/20/2011
Fantastic story. I'm curious though as to how long the battle with the reapers was. Because the protheans said the reapers spent centuries exterminating them, so it's kind of hard to see how half the galaxy could be killed in a few months. Other than that there weren't any real mistakes or problems I could see.
Also, your description where you said it contains religious themes that might offend people? Why would that offend anyone? What with the warning at the beginning I half expected someone to try and convert me halfway through the story. I really don't see why you would be worried about that offending anyone.
Anyway, I loved the story and I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.
| OrderlyAnarchist chapter 8 . 9/18/2011
Really good story so far, but did Zaeed die? There was a gas grenade and then he just disappeared from the story. Since Shepard barely survived and that was only because of the injection Mordin gave him I'm going to assume Zaeed didn't make it, but it probably would've been better to spend a bit more time on it. It was more abrupt and unmoving than Wilson's. Other than that, I'm loving the story.
| weirdnerd chapter 55 . 9/15/2011
awesome story but, just my opinion, near the end the religious stuff poping up a bit much