|Reviews for A Wrinkle in Time|
| monbade chapter 4 . 7/29/2011
good start. but one wrinkle, how are they going to keep dumbles from finding out when he scans their minds? Please update soon
| Kyo Tetsuei chapter 4 . 3/22/2011
Any chance of continuing this story? I love the premise, and would definitely like to see this story line followed through.
Thanks for sharing!
| Dain chapter 4 . 3/6/2011
Petunia took the "death" of her surrogate son rather calmly. Even if she believed from the start that "her" Harry was still alive and well, just suppressed by the new Harry - she just acted as if her son hadn't disappeared on her, possibly forever, to be replaced by a complete stranger. Was she in a rather lengthy phase of denial?
I like how Harry is upfront about his experience instead of keeping silent about it like in so many other time-travel stories. Much better than lying to everyone for years while creepily manipulating them. Of course, that way he risks discovery. I'd think long and hard about whether I'd really trust Dumbledore and Snape again after all the greater-good garbage they put Harry through in canon. They might just remove his new memories so that he dutifully follows their master plan. But apparently, Dumbledore is already a better character than he ever was in canon, judging by the fact that he didn't try to brainwash Harry into a child soldier from the beginning, but seems to have stayed completely out of his life. Apart from callously dumping an injured baby Harry on the doorsteps of Petunia without asking or offering financial support, of course. That's bad enough to make him unfit to lead a school. Anyway, it's odd in that context that the Weasleys suddenly feature as possible manipulators, when Snape and Dumbledore haven't really been mentioned yet.
Not to rain on University!Hermione's parade, but her conclusions in this chapter are pointless, and actually, full of holes. That's the danger of writing a "genius level"-character: He/She has to be smarter than oneself, and few authors are able to pull that off convincingly. That's why canon Hermione was very booksmart (since Rowling could just invent new magical knowledge as needed and hand it to her), but not really that brilliant, and often very illogical. Sorry, I hope that didn't sound too offensive. :)
Anyway, there's no distinguishable difference between the "alternate universe" or "timetravel" hypothesis based solely on the matter of Harry's appearance and split personality. An alien, 17-year-old consciousness calling itself Harry Potter swooped in and invaded the mind of a younger version of itself. This alien consciousness could be the product of either an alternate dimension or a timetravel anomaly, there's no conclusive evidence for either. In fact, if Hermione wanted to be properly sceptical instead of just believing Harry, she should at first dismiss both explanations in favor of alternative ones which rely solely on things that she already knows are possible, instead of assuming unexplained magical anomalies never before witnessed in human history.
Possible alternatives are:
1. Someone memory-charmed Harry with unusually complex fake memories for some unknown purpose. He now has the magical knowledge of a 7th-year student and a huge drive to defeat Voldemort. An experiment by the ministry or Dumbledore to create their own perfect knight-in-shining-armor hero?
2. Harry is being possessed by a pretender (*cough* Voldemort *cough*).
3. Simple schizophrenic break (or however it's called)? Can Harry actually perform all these spells or will he fail to translate his new imaginary knowledge into reality? The confundus might have been a fluke, the Muffliato spell might just have been random magical discharge that didn't actually do anything, etc.
I'm sure there are even more possibilities that didn't occur to me outright. A real genius!Hermione should only start believing in weird unexplained phenomena as her explanation for things after she has excluded all mundane possibilites to the best of her ability.
Now Harry noticed that several obvious changes happened in the timeline long before he even consciously arrived in this world. He suspects that this means dimensional travel. Hermione favors her hypothesis that Harry "merely" timetravelled, and this travel caused "ripples" in the timeline. While that might be a possibility (well, since it is what the author intends to be true, it obviously is a possibility), it isn't proven by Hermione's arguments at all. The ripples are an extra mechanism introduced by her for the single purpose of explaining away far-reaching changes to the timeline that happened long before Harry arrived. In the absence of any other evidence, this argument should fall victim to Occam's Razor: It adds an extra unnecessary complication and its own made-up-on-the-spot solution to the problem. At this point with the data presented so far, dimensional travel should in fact be the favored hypothesis, on the merit of being equally possible, but simpler.
Of course, additional magical knowledge could change that assessment. For example, wizards are capable of time manipulation and therefore presumably studied it quite thoroughly. After all, time magic is apparently so secure that it can even be handed out to school children in the form of time-turners. In canon, Rowling supports the stable time-line/stable time-loop theory: The past cannot be changed by the time-turners, everything you do while time-turned has already happened, you just didn't necessarily already know about it before departing. To the chagrin of fanfic-authors everywhere. :) This seems to be a point in favor of dimensional travel. Otherwise, there must be an explanation for the inability of time-turners to change the past as opposed to whatever happened to Harry.
So maybe Hermione already read a text that gives her additional clues that make her favor the time travel theory. It might even be something simple like "Time magic is possible, although not on that scale, whereas there isn't even evidence for the existence of alternate universes".
| RonRR chapter 4 . 1/17/2011
An interesting start to your story.
I am looking forward to where you take it from here.
| kkat5 chapter 4 . 10/20/2010
Hmm... hope we get more background on how Hermione became so different, though scary Hermione is funny. As someone who is not much a fan of Ron or Ginny (though I do like the older Weasleys) I'm glad with the story's direction in that regard. Hope that will leave room for things to change with him and Draco (who knows, maybe Draco is different as well). Can't wait to see the alternate Severus.
| Red Phoenix Dragon chapter 4 . 10/15/2010
Old Harry but a new Hermione and Neville. I hope you keep them together and avoid Ron as he is just a selfish bigot as bad as Draco. Let see where you go with this.
Thanks for sharing your story. Please update soon.
| Ralmidaz chapter 4 . 9/23/2010
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 4 . 9/2/2010
Hey, I just realized... This universe's (Or wrinkle's, if you insist) Snape never met Petunia! Which means it's very likely that he didn't meet Lily either - in time for a childhood crush to form.
So, since Snape never lusted after Lily in a stalkerish kind of way, he remains a fully committed and loyal, Death Eater. He's still fooled Dumbledore but will work solely for the bad guys.
Snape and/or Dumbledore will soon discover Harry's secret in the minds of Harry, Hermione, and/or Neville. Then after obliviating the snot out of the kids, one or both men will use the information to commit unspeakably evil acts.
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 3 . 9/2/2010
Good. Bad!Dead!Harry didn't completely kill Good!Kid!Harry.
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 2 . 9/2/2010
The story still has promise.
Poor Petunia, though. She had so little and now Harry has effectively killed her sweet young child.
Well, you were right when you said you were not going "to follow everything from the books". There are several pointless canon errors.
That's not how fanfiction works, anyway. Fanfic authors cheat, heavily, by relying on the: characters, details, and situations that a professional writer has created. When you do something different, you must: explain, foreshadow, and develop the new/different bits just as if you were writing your own story.
Randomly ignoring canon, with no explanation, nor reason, nor proper story development, just looks sloppy and bumps the readers out of your tale and into noticing the writing quality - not good.
But I see that you are looking for a beta reader. So you're working on the problem.
The story's a little anachronistic too. In 1991, we (and the UK) weren't quite the wussy-state that we are now. 10 to 11 year-olds rarely had/needed babysitters. Hell, *I* was babysitting other kids when I was 10.
Also, even Hermione's not good enough to go to Uni at 10 or 11. In fact, *no one* accomplished this feat in the UK until Christiana Imafidon made it in at age 11 - in 2004-ish.
Still, this is an interesting story. I just hope that Harry stops being such an undriven dunderhead and breaks his bad habits.
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Not a bad start. Story could be good.
| Please Read my stuff chapter 4 . 8/30/2010
| Cassandra30 chapter 4 . 8/29/2010
Nicely done. Hopefully the other Harry will influence this one a bit more.
| Cassandra30 chapter 3 . 8/29/2010
Actually Harry should have talked to his account manager. Petunia would have been allowed an allowance for taking care of Harry. Now that Harry is going to Hogwarts Petunia should take the time to go to college.
| Cassandra30 chapter 2 . 8/29/2010
Wonderful! Harry should ask to meet Hermione.