Reviews for The Return Of The Black Butler
luna fireflight chapter 4 . 11/24/2012
weres the romance dude seriously i'm the type of girl who likes kissing and the word that will not be said in public.
wuv:luna fireflight
CrazyGirl4321 chapter 2 . 4/14/2012
Great story i usually don't like sebastien love stories but you wrote a great one
pastelspirit chapter 11 . 7/26/2011
Please update soon hope your writers block goes away but please update this is an awesome story
Girugamesh chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
Eh. Too many "..."s instead of full-stops- it makes it look amateurish and kinda gives me a sense of disjointedness. Also, nix the dashes in speech. Once again, it feels disjointed and awkward. I suppose the story has potential though.
Retile Queen MeerKat Ninja chapter 11 . 6/15/2011
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OKay, so I've recently started reading this and it is sooooooo good! please don't stop! I hope you are inspired soon!
Minji-V chapter 1 . 2/27/2011
I really like the plot, but not too fond of the script-like format of the chapters, but again good plot :3.
Ryle Culler chapter 10 . 2/7/2011
I love your story and I hope to read more!
HollowAmbitions13 chapter 10 . 1/3/2011
This story is so so so sooooooooooooo GOOD! Please keep writing. You'd be my bestest friend ever! And my hero 3
Kuro Neko to Kuro Bara chapter 10 . 10/22/2010
Totally cant wait to read more! XD I love it!
Dream of Cream chapter 10 . 10/16/2010
Dream of Cream chapter 9 . 10/3/2010
haha! i hope the next chapter is really interesting! this made sense to ME but maybe thats because my head doesnt make sense...hmmmm.. who knows? well anywayzzzzzz hope to read another chapter!
YoBeezy chapter 9 . 10/2/2010
I hope you can take constructive criticism.

It's not to say this is a bad story, it just needs some help. Maybe get a beta?

It's very hard to read with the layout you are writing in. If you can use dashes then you can very well use quotation marks. Which would make reading a lot more, should I say, less irritating? I was hoping that along some point in your story you would have switched to using proper punctuation since it's been mention before, but you have not. And it's not just the quotation mark issue, work on your comma placement as well. Remember, it's only to help.

Also, I reccomend revising your story several times. I know it won't always fix every typo but at this point it hardly looks like you're trying. A well written story will get you a lot more reviews and the things your looking for.

Another thing is your lack of descriptive detail. It gets really redundant reading line after line of straight dialogue that lacks atmosphere and dimension. To me, it's no different than reading an IM conversation, it's clearly lacking any feeling or imagination. Look at it like a picture, describe it to the reader to show them what you see. If you don't no one is really going to feel the emotion you want to convey.

I also noticed that you have a habit of entering "..." moments in very awkward sentence transitions. They are okay to put in every once in awhile but remember, you don't want your writing to become redundant.

Anyways, you said yourself you are always looking to improve. My best advice is to take the constructive criticism people will give you and take it to heart. Use it. From what I've seen, through all nine chapters you've written, it's not something that I would come back to. Again, it's not because it's a bad story instead it's mainly because I don't like reading something that looks sloppily thrown together.

Good luck on your improvement, I hope you think about fixing those common mistakes.
The Angel of Thursday chapter 9 . 10/1/2010
Hello again! I really like were you are going with this chapter, however I hope that Selina won't turn out like Ciel. Keep up the good work. .
Raven Nevermore Witch chapter 8 . 9/30/2010
Please update soon, I want to see what happens next.
watergoddesskasey chapter 8 . 9/25/2010
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