Reviews for When the Wind Blows
Connwaer Heap chapter 2 . 11/12/2015
Ahhhh! What happened to you, Lily? And where are the rest of the Marauders?
Connwaer Heap chapter 1 . 11/12/2015
Poor Lily. I hope Severus didn't curse her or anything like that, but I don't think he would have.
OnyxFeather chapter 1 . 11/7/2015
Straight away, great opening line to hook me in. Already, you've set a premise for James's character. I really liked this.

You set an ominous scene. Mary's behaviour is so telling and even more anxiety provoking, so I don't blame James for getting annoyed. Oh, okay, something feels really strange now, and I really like how you're drawing out the tension. I though you did incredibly well with that interaction.

Your portrayal of a Mary is interesting. There was something very real about her worry for Lily which came across clearly.

I liked the little things James thought that reminded us of how much he cares about Lily - very sweet.

Great start to this short story. You have grabbed my attention and now, I too, need to know what's up with Lily.
Summer Leigh Wind chapter 1 . 11/1/2015
"…it's always chill to his touch." seems like an odd turn of phrase. maybe, "…it's always chilly to the touch."? That sounds better to my ears, anyway.

"…grabs his tray…" isn't the food for them just laid out on the tables at Hogwarts?

Other than those things, I quite enjoyed this beginning. I like how you start with setting a bleak scene with describing how cold and gray it is due to the winter. I think it's helping to set a nice tone.

James and Mary's conversation and the noting of how things aren't safe because of the war going on was cool too and I quite enjoyed that James started to think immediately once he heard that Lily was sick and scared that maybe it had something to do with Severus.

I'm sure in such an instance he'd jump to such likely suspects too. Though, as spiteful as Severus is, I don't think he'd ever maliciously attack Lily like this. It's because he put her in harms way that he went to Dumbledore, after all. Their friendship may be over, but even so, he cared about her enough to want her safe.

Nice first chapter and I'll be curious to see how the rest of this fic will go!
Screaming Faeries chapter 1 . 10/28/2015
Hey!

So, I’m really struck by the present tense of this story from the offset. I’m interested to see how you pull this off, as it can be quite a difficult tense to hold.

I love the descriptions of winter and summer in the first paragraph. It’s only short, but it already sets off powerful imagery, but you manage to keep the tone impersonal by adding James’s little thought process about Lily in a bikini, too, so that’s great!

I enjoyed reading the spiel between James and Mary. It was nice to place some development to the under-characterised character of Mary McDonald, and it was clear to see how much the two of them truly care for Lily. It was nice to read this little platonic bit of information.

You kept James remarkably in character, particularly when you involved Snape at the end. I’m really looking forward to seeing where this goes next!

Great job :)

Sophie xo
NovaArbella chapter 1 . 10/25/2015
pffft, guys and bikinis. Total tiny nip picky thing, but you say James grabs his tray, which I'm pretty sure I've never seen reference to trays in the books. Makes the Great Hall sound like a Muggle school cafeteria. Heh, he's so quick to blame and start planning his revenge on Snape that he doesn't even think to run to try to see the girl he's so hung up on. Prat. This was a nice start. It didn't go over what we already know too much, but there was enough to remind us if we've forgotten. I look forward to reading more.
Estoma chapter 1 . 9/30/2015
Good on you for venturing into a fandom you're not so comfortable in. It's kind of tricky at first, isn't it?

I liked this. It's nice to read a story where James and Lilly are already a thing, rather than a story where they begin their relationship. It's going to let you explore some new stuff.

The details you used really helped me to get a great picture of the story. I liked what you said about James seeing winter for what it was, once the more enjoyable parts of it are over, like Christmas. I particularly liked when you said he stopped putting his hand on the rails. Little details like that really make it.

There was just one jarring bit there, when James grabbed his 'tray'. It seemed such like an American school cafeteria thing.

Cheers.
Ersatz Einstein chapter 1 . 7/24/2015
You had some really vivid, easy to visualize narration. The decision to paint the stagnation of winter not only in magical terms ("enchanted ceiling is a dull, washed-out wintery gray"), but in James Potter specific terms ("the Quidditch pitch covered in frozen mud") was a good one, adding a touch of personality even to the impersonal parts. I would note that "She knows he's asking for Lily..." seems unnecessary given its placement in the paragraph, but there were no obvious grammatical or stylistic problems. Well done.
iambookworm chapter 4 . 1/2/2012
Can't understand why this hasn't had more reviews... it's so sweet and so incredibly brilliant! I think you really did the whole idea justice.
gravesofqueens chapter 6 . 1/11/2011
That was a really good story. touching
Guest chapter 6 . 10/5/2010
A very nice ending good job!
quill.is.mightier chapter 6 . 9/4/2010
I think you handled this well; miscarriage is a deeply painful subject, and you did it justice.
sti chapter 6 . 8/31/2010
I love it! So sad and realistic, James was so sweet to her!
The.Doctors.Lonely.Angel chapter 4 . 8/31/2010
Well that shocked me. I thought she had been raped or something...
b.a chapter 6 . 8/31/2010
that was beautiful!
40 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 Next »