|Reviews for The X Games|
| IdreamofEddy chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
Well, it's safe for me to say, I absolutely ALMOST hate Edward, but there's aside of things here that have me questioning his motives, because of his history. Riley's old. Fading fast. We who love, will do anything for family, even if's shitty for someone else. But er...team Peter. Peter/Jasper. Nicely done.
| catonspeed chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
First off... rad? I fucking LOVE you! Do you know how long its been since I've read an excellent application of that word? Too long. Too. Mother-fucking. Long! I read this this morning on the train to work to combat my post holiday blues, and I still don't know whether to hug you or kill you at this point. It was beautiful, and your OS gutted me from the inside out in the best and worst of ways. Love can be instant and fall apart in the blink of an eye - it can be one-sided and crush you - it can blind side you when you least expect it. And apparently, you can cover them all.
This was heartbreaking and beautiful, and you did a brilliant job of lacing together a great story and some hot boy lovin' - but then again, i expect nothing less from you (no pressure or anything he he!).
Great job! If you don't win in the Backslash contest and get a banner for this then I'm making you something, because it's brilliant. I think I already said that, but it is, and I can't think of a better word right now.
Inappropriate love and stuff,
| Merina Green chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
Wow! Now THAT was an angsty ending. So harsh...I believe that Edward's feelings for Jazz were real and true, but Riley did "make" him do it... that being said, Jasper was right; Edward IS an adult, and he could have said "no, this is wrong". He betrayed Jasper on so many levels.
Any chance of you continueing this later? huh? huh?
| bbbluez chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Interesting twist! Wonder if Riley forced Edward into this somehow?
| VampireLestat12 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
This was so good! Poor Jasper, Edward really messed with his head. But I don't think he had a choice, seems like Uncle Riley MADE him do it. Probably threatened to kick him out and not help him with his education. I'd love to see more of these boys. Will they meet again? Especially when Edward comes into his money and is not dependent on Rkley anymore. I think Edward did not want to do this to Jasper...I think about his red rimmed eyes, he probably cried about it all day.
| SweetDulcinea chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Honestly, my first instinct is to rage over this. I have trouble understanding the last two paragraphs of the story because they don't actually resolve or anything. What did Jasper do to get over what happened? How did he gain the perspective to move on and turn all those emotions into determination? I think the story would have ended better without that. I understand that it's open-ended and there is the possibility for a continuation, but IMO, one-shots should be that - should be able to stand alone. By adding that part, I don't think the story ends.
I also find myself incredibly upset over Edward's actions. Riley, as you set him up, I expected to be a total creep. I got the impression he was sticking around, not because he enjoyed the sport, but because he thrives on attention, even for lackluster performance. Jasper's belief that he needs to just let go seemed pretty spot-on. So when it comes back around to Edward, I don't find him redeemable. At all. He demonstrated absolutely no moral compass because whether it was his plan or Riley's, what he did was inexcusable. He's an adult, as Jasper himself pointed out. I don't see any situation in life where lying, cheating, and manipulating people is okay, no matter what you're going through. You might be finding yourself thinking, "But you don't understand that character's perspective," and that's true. I'm just going off my reactions to what you presented in the story.
I'm not even sure I could read any more if you did choose to continue because I don't really WANT Edward to have an opportunity to explain. I also wouldn't want to see him get let off the hook because I don't think he OR Riley deserve it.
Mind you, I wouldn't be so uppity about all of this if I wasn't invested in the characters, so don't write me off as the crazy reviewer girl just yet.
Jasper also made mistakes. Where he comes across as very level-headed and balanced (he understands he won't do this forever, he's grateful for all the blessings in his life, etc...), he also screwed up. He broke his own rules. He allowed himself to fall. He got involved with a "fan" when he shouldn't have. Regardless, no one goes into a romantic situation thinking the other person has poor intentions. When we open our hearts, we believe the other person is doing the same. His vulnerability, while somewhat self-induced, is understandable. And his heartbreak was most certainly not deserved.
As I'm sure you can tell, I'm intensely upset about this. I'm especially sensitive to seeing Jasper get hurt because, well, he's Jasper and I love him.
On a positive note, I really enjoyed your use of the different characters. As athletes, parents, friends, and a supporting cast, everyone felt well-placed, not just random thrown in to the story. The Swans as Jasper and Rose's adoptive parents was a unique twist, and I, naturally, wondered why there was no Bella. However, I did assume she was who Peter spoke of when he mentioned falling in love. Because I ship Peter with Bella before Charlotte. Actually, I ship Peter with Jasper, then with Bella, then with Jasper AND Bella, then with Charlotte...or Maria. Phew...crazy, I know. Anyway, love the use of Peter. Love the Swans.
The details about skating and the X-Games were great. I even enjoyed the lingo you incorporated throughout. As I was reading the first portion of the story, I thoughts several times about what a great original idea it was, and I appreciated the premise and setup. Jasper was an extremely appealing character, and it was easy to cheer for him, both in his sport and in his romantic pursuits.
Now, I did get a feeling very early on that something was off about Edward. He acted peculiar, which could have been chalked up to a fanboy reaction, but it just didn't feel right. Then he didn't let up when they were together, and the fact that he was late...it was just...off. As soon as Jasper mentioned Riley, I knew it had something to do with him, and I knew things would turn ugly. Yes, Edward seemed to show doubt from the get-go, but he still did what he did, regardless of any feelings he may have developed or how his mind may have changed.
I thought the story flowed well, with the exception of the very end. You're obviously a good writer, and I liked how you allowed things to unfold, even if WHAT happened wasn't something I appreciate as a reader. Your work is clean, your characters have depth, and there was tangible emotion and desire in the lemon. I want to pull out Edward's nipple ring in an ouchie way, kick Riley in the cunt, and then snuggle Jasper for a while before I smoosh him together with Peter and make them realize THEY are in love.
Thank you for writing and sharing.
| it's simply me n you chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Wow! Totally did not see that end coming at all. What a great story
| Menomena chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Such a great story! I was hooked from the beginning and I wasn't ready for it to end. How terrible that Jasper was hurt so badly. I really hope Edward didn't seduce Jasper just to help Riley win; I know it looks that way, but his tears/sob say that may not be the case. I really, really hope you continue this! Best of luck with the contest!
| oneluvbug chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
oh man I did not see that coming.
I loved it. I hope you continue this.
| Nisa Cullen chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
WOW! I did not see that coming! Amazing!
| FarDareisMai2 chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Oh my heart hurts! Poor Jasper. I really hope this story continues after the contest.
| Darkira chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Dear deity, woman!
I totally forgot to review this before when I read it but like...oh wow.
And please DO continue this, please? Too good to be left like this... *sighs*
| janere chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
this story was awesome. I really wish you would continue it. Never know what could happen next year right?
| OnTheTurningAway chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Gah...this is just so, so fantastic! I love that you made Riley a kind of over the hill, bad guy since he seems to be everyone's new slash golden boy. Poor Edward - he was clearly conflicted and I have no doubt that his connection with Jasper was real. And of course I feel even worse for Jasper - he is absolutely crushed...and of course is going to come back from it with a vengeance.
I hate to say it because I already love your slashy WIPs, but this *begs* to be continued after the contest.
| ArcadianMaggie chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Um, you obviously didn't understand that this is a one shot contest, because this story appears to be missing its other chapters! You know, the ones where they FIX this terrible horrible awful mess! (kidding) I was so completely wrapped up in the story and I *felt* Jasper's hurt and betrayal. Oh my word. Pleeeease say you're going to continue this. Loved it! Good luck in the contest!