|Reviews for What Lays Beyond|
| Old Toad chapter 1 . 2/28/2015
A poignant and thoughtful story which really brings home to the reader the terrible crimes of the mad genius Hans Reinhardt.
Consistently uses the first person present to great effect. My congratulations to the author.
| Vector426 chapter 1 . 9/5/2013
Excellent ! A rather haunting story from the pov of one of the drones.
| OpheliaBlack chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
I have never heard of this movie, but after your lovely review I decided to take a look at this. Your writing is very elegant, with strong word choice and good use of repetition. My favorite lines were 'Sometimes I could not tell which was worse. Sometimes I could not tell which was which.' and the last line about the girl looking up. The first one is rather creepy, not being able to differentiate between the Master and the Monster, which says some nasty things about the Master. The last line was hopeful, something much needed by the narrator. Well done.
| Hyena Cub chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
First of all-wonderful imagery. I don't know whose POV this is, but I can see into their heads easily.
A couple of grammatical points: possessive "its" has no apostrophe. The title, grammatically, should read "What *Lies* Beyond."
"I wake and can feel her laying next to me"
""I move my hands rhythmically over the controls""
This is okay...but I think you could do better, making it more descriptive...do the controls make noise? Do the hands ache, or have they lost all feeling, along with losing the feeling of humanity that oozes all throughout this story. (The oozing is a good thing btw lol)
The ants in the warren metaphor is cute...though a bit mixed. Ants live in colonies. Rabbits live in warrens. XD
"Sometimes I wonder which one is worse. Sometimes I wonder which one is which."
I agree, this is a fantastic line! I also like the short sentences...they also seem less human. Again, no clue about the plot, but your writing makes that much clear.
Nicely written, all in all! Very vivid.
| robertwnielsen chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
Very eerie...and yet very well done!
| Susan M. M chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
"I see the master and his monster about the ship sometimes. Sometimes I wonder which one is worst. Sometimes I wonder which one is which." Wonderful line!
Very effective, doing the story from the POV of one of the crew-drones, who still remembers - even if just barely - what it was like to be human. Poignant.