|Reviews for Had Any Luck?|
| bookworm2192 chapter 29 . 5/8/2014
I'm pretty sure this is the second time I've read this, and if so it was still definitely worth it. An absolutely fabulous piece of writing, well constructed and highly enjoyable to read. Nicely done.
| EccentricFox chapter 3 . 12/16/2013
Was it intentional that you had Bradley say, "Common" twice, instead of "Come on"? And what happened to the teacher? Would she not have broken up the fight? Wouldn't Colin have been sent to the principal's office for throwing an - admittedly provoked - punch?
Again, a really short chapter. If you ever do come back to this story, I would recommend merging the chapters together. Yes, you'd have fewer chapters, but they'd be meatier and more satisfying. As it is now, I feel like you've only just gotten started and it's already over. I can't imagine what it would have been like to read this as it was published, having to wait for the update for the next tiny morsel.
It's important to note that every change in scene doesn't require its own chapter; chapters can encompass several scenes and generally should be numerous pages worth. When I write, I try to aim for four pages or (at the minimum) 5000 words per chapter - sometimes more if I can manage it. Of course, there's no actual, specific number of words for a 'typical' chapter, but it's best to keep the lengths consistent where possible.
There are a few errors in this chapter as well. Again, overall not too many, but enough to warrant a mention. They're errors that spell check wouldn't necessarily pick up, since it's more to do with words that have been omitted, or have been left in when they were clearly meant to be removed. If you have a brief read over the chapter, I'm sure you'll spot them.
| EccentricFox chapter 2 . 12/16/2013
One question; maybe you've already answered this but if Merlin, Arthur and Morgana are Colin, Bradley and Katie respectively, why is that Gwen is Gwen and not Angel? It seems like a bit of an inconsistency, unless there's a particular purpose?
As for the chapter, it felt a little bit short and the descriptions that the characters are attributing to each other maybe...I don't know exactly, maybe it's a little confusing or possibly reads a little awkwardly - especially where Bradley is appraising Colin.
For instance, "mousy" is usually attributed to someone with plain features, brown hair and brown eyes, which Colin (if we're basing our descriptions on Colin Morgan) is not. Another phrase that comes to mind is - "tiny figure". I find it strange, since Colin (Morgan) is taller, and yes, lankier than Bradley (James). So while his figure may not be considered intimidating, Bradley would still have to tilt his chin up slightly to meet Colin's eyes. In fact, the line starting with "This tiny figure..." overall runs on a little strangely.
I know you've finished this story and have probably put it well and truly to bed but if you ever get the urge to go back over it, that might be something that you'll want to have a look at. There were a couple of errors, as well; nothing major but something a beta could clean up.
Despite the criticism, I'm enjoying the read so far.
| EccentricFox chapter 1 . 12/16/2013
It's a good start, I like the style of your writing, though I have to say that Colin comes across as kind of...pious. It feels like he's judging the people around him, while espousing his own 'humble' virtues, which is kind of contradictory to what it means to be humble and modest. Mind you, I'd be highly judgemental of rich people too and probably fancy myself far more grounded, earthy and less materialistic or shallow. LMAO. So I guess the characterisation rings true.
There was one sentence which may require attention, "Many of the students were handsome and of rich families, with parents that spent longer hours at work than with their them and..."
I think you may have accidentally left "their" in there. Otherwise a really great start and I'm eager to read more. Just thought I drop a word in re: the aforementioned sentence.
| Chocaholic15 chapter 29 . 9/9/2013
I read this thing twice because I loved it so much. Love the way you portray Arthur as kind and caring but an arrogant prat at the same time
| pbs chapter 19 . 7/3/2013
thanks for the notice kind of got me confuse when i went to ch. 20
I love the story so far the ch. 18 was really well written really emotional
please message me when you put up the new ch.'s
| Kiki1770 chapter 29 . 6/7/2013
Wow, that was a delightful story and positively wonderful read. Your writing style reminds of the styles used by the previous generation literary authors. You know, sort of like Harper Lee or Martha Stewart.
| Kiki1770 chapter 14 . 6/7/2013
Oh God! I know this wasn't meant to be a joke but I cracked up when I read this line "Two gays are better than one" XD Genius!
| Kiki1770 chapter 4 . 6/7/2013
Oh wow, I feel bit quick to judge. I still think Colin is a bit detached. Anyway, I love your writing, it's a wonderful style.
| Kiki1770 chapter 1 . 6/7/2013
Hmmm, this is definitely an interesting way to start the story. Merlin/Colin seems almost like a completley different person, a bit arrogant and detached.
| abandonedaccount451 chapter 13 . 5/1/2013
come on... this isn't fair give me the rest of the story
i will hold my breath untill you do
*holding breath... turning purple... passed out*
| 0101010111000 chapter 5 . 3/25/2013
Omg, lol ;DDD
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/20/2013
Please continue chapter 12!
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/18/2013
Please continue with chapter twelve - can't wait!
| Guest chapter 9 . 3/17/2013
Really love this story - I've read it before and decided to read it again! Please finish the rewriting soon.