|Reviews for To Save the Queen|
| Arla Logan chapter 44 . 2/19
I really loved this story. Despite it being long, to me it never felt too slow-paced:-)
| ByLanternLight chapter 44 . 2/18
A rollicking good time, with fantastic characterization and action. 6/5.
| ksecc1 chapter 40 . 1/16
I know you've already started it, but I'd be totally interested in a trilogy.
| ksecc1 chapter 20 . 1/16
Ok. I laughed untIl I cried with that chapter. Excellent story.
| bigtomato chapter 1 . 11/30/2014
Unbelievable. I'm about to read To Save the Queen AGAIN.
It's just that well written, encouraging and entertaining. Thank you, Author.
| Crysanth chapter 41 . 9/18/2014
Amazing- I was worried a little when I read the summary, because I knew how hard it would be to pull off properly, but you exceeded my highest expectations. Great work!
| BlazingCard chapter 2 . 8/22/2014
The opening was excellent: taking advantage of the first person voice, you used an emotion to start off the story.
Character descriptions were very vivid, but not to the point of excessive. I really don't know how Star Wars lore works, but the portrayal seems to be very clear.
"My stomach was *roiling*" not sure if it only appears on my screen, but: roiling rolling (spelling).
The suspense and anticipation was done quite well, although having the MC being picked last is a bit cliched. Because the order is a minor detail, you could have her picked 3rd to last or 2nd to last. Being the last and seeing so much text under it just gives it away.
Background of the royal handmaidens was much needed, thank you. It's nice to know a little back story or setting, as I have no idea what royal handmaidens are in the Star Wars universe. Setting a precedence for the respect given to the handmaidens really shows what an honor it is to be chosen to be one.
Although, the meeting with the queen was rushed. That could use a bit more emotion, e.g. what did the MC feel when the queen approached her? Her new position and the queen's presence should be more than just a scan of what the queen looks like. Remember: first person voice emotion.
All in all, very well done.
| finnicko-loves-anniec chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
I'm very familiar with the Star Wars universe.
First of all, great chapter! I think this works as a fantastic hook for the rest of the story.
Opening: Very effective. It immediately makes the reader question who she saw and why this girl or woman is important. One suggestion I have is that you reword the opening from passive voice (was sitting, was hiding, etc.) to something more active.
Writing: The writing seems a bit simplistic, but I think that's fitting for Sabe's age during the chapter. It flows well throughout, and there was only one sentence that I would strongly recommend rewriting. [The second time I saw her was when I was twelve] seems unnecessarily wordy and a bit jarring compared to your otherwise concisely worded story. I think you could simplify this by removing 'was when.' Also, I feel like you overuse dashes a bit, though that's definitely a stylistic choice.
Dialogue: This was, I feel, like your story excelled. The dialogue felt very true to two intelligent preteen girls and conveyed their emotions well. Great job!
Characters: I think this gives a good look into Sabe's personality. I like the backstory you've provided of her coming from an orphanage. It makes a lot of sense that the authorities would find handmaidens in this setting, rather than asking families to sacrifice their children to protect the queen. Great!
Ending: Though I premise of the ending, I would again recommend that you rewrite this in a more active voice. It sets up the next chapter quite well and leaves me interested, as I now know more than Sabe about her situation, but I feel it would be more powerful if reworded.
Other: I had a couple little questions about your AU. First, are there only handmaidens, or are there men that train as well? I do not believe this ever comes up in canon, but it seems odd that the Academy only trains women. My second question is more surface-level. Is one of the canon elements you're changing the identity of the handmaiden killed in Episode II? In canon, Corde is killed, not Sabe. I think this might be the element that is changed from canon that you mentioned.
Overall, this was really enjoyable. You've set up an interesting premise, and I'm excited to see how it plays out. Great!
| Lupa Eira chapter 44 . 8/7/2014
I was wholly unprepared for how much I was going to fall in love with this story and the characters. I came across the sequel and decided to read this first, and I'm SO glad I did! Your rendition of the Handmaidens completely changed how I view much of the storyline in Phantom Menace and indeed, the characters of the Handmaidens and Par herself! This story was absolutely wonderful. Now I'm off to read the sequel and check out the Royal Handmaidens Society!
| RadientWings chapter 44 . 7/20/2014
... This story was literally amazing. I cannot get over it. I have loved every single moment of it, especially the depth to which you explored the handmaidens' lives. I also love that you centered the story on them and the relationships between them rather than romance (though I must admit, I was absolutely loving the sparks between Obi-Wan and Sabé).
Everything was just fantastic and well-written and I'm just so glad I found this gem of a story. I'm going to straight to read the sequel now!
Thanks so much for writing this!
| Shadow Wrote chapter 44 . 7/18/2014
Hi. I know I'm kinda late, but I was just surfing and I found this fic and I just... I couldn't put it down. It's just so.. Compelling. It draws you in to it in a way most stories don't. The last time I was drawn in by a story like this was Harry Potter or Percy Jackson. You're an amazing author and thank you so much for writing this. I honestly went into expecting it to turn into a full-fledged Obi-Wan/Sabé fic and honestly, I really wasn't amazing disappointed by the time I finished like I thought I would be. Yes I was dying on the inside somewhat that there wasn't an "incredible, amazing, unbelievable!" romance between the two but I really just loved this story and how you developed these characters. Especially the way you developed Sabé and the rest of the handmaidens. You made them unique and gave them each their own personality, focusing on so many different details it was hard to imagine how you were able to write it all. Sorry I'm reviewing as a guest, henceforth I'm to lazy to login and this isn't even my account name (ThisIsForAidan), but I just felt I needed to review this immediately because I just wanted to thank you. I will be following this story's sequel and hopefully that sequel's sequel but I'll get into that later. (Hopefully) there might be some further romance between Obi-Wan and Sabé, if there's not that's fine, this story was a treat or it's own, but if not I'm okay with that and I will continue to read and support you. Thank you for writing this and continue with the splendid work.
| bigtomato chapter 9 . 4/23/2014
I love this story - I am actually reading this for the second time now. Ace review.
Off-the-wall thought - Yoda romance? Hmm...
| MADStar529 chapter 44 . 3/25/2014
Love the story! Off to read the sequel!
| MADStar529 chapter 43 . 3/25/2014
Love the ending!
| MADStar529 chapter 42 . 3/25/2014
This was gorgeous and I love the song.