|Reviews for Mass Vexations 2|
| Terminal343 chapter 24 . 5/1
| Terminal343 chapter 24 . 5/1
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/29
surreality might not mean what you think it means.
At least I can't see any reason for why one would cry from it.
You should really get a proofreader to catch the weirdly worded sentences that often pop up, as well as pointing out when you repeat words and sentence fragments as you tend to do.
'interesting' is still repeated way too often, next time you write, perhaps try making a rule that you are only allowed to use that word once every chapter or something, in order to foster a bit more creativity in your writing.
In general avoid repeating a word when you can in the nearest paragraphs.
| HappyTreeFriend chapter 50 . 3/20
Damn, this took me forever to get through. But since I did, I figure I should leave a little review. It might be useless considering how old this story is, but...
8/10 with deductions for errors and questionable things. I didn't actually keep track while I read this, sorry. I guess I'll say a couple of thoughts though.
I personally think of Rael'Zorah as the quarian Josef Mengele. So yeah, I'd have killed him. Especially since I'd never imagine any chance for peace in ME3 with him still on the Admiralty Board.
Too bad the part where Tali describes all the ways her body is punishing her when you romance her and talk to her post suicide mission was skipped. I'd imagine she'd be skipping the party actually. And Jack's "advice" was about 2 chapters late, I'd say. On that note, I don't recall Art taking Mordin's advice to self sterilize.
I also read part 1, the thing that sticks out most there was how much I was think Art was a complete fucking moron for thinking that killing himself would be a reliable way to get back.
| Chris7221 chapter 50 . 3/19
So... Mass Vexations 2. It was definitely bigger, better, and bolder than MV1, that's for sure.
I read Mass Vexations 2 back in the day, but I don't think I ever finished it. This time, I was determined to go all the way through and managed to do so in the span of a few weeks.
It was one hell of a ride.
I'll be honest, I didn't remember Mass Vexations 2 being so, well, verbose. It's 600K words across 50 chapters, for an average of 12000 words per chapter. That's something like 6 or 7 average novels, or more fanfiction than I've put out in the past few years. I commend you for that. Occasionally, it feels dragged out, but never feels rushed, and generally the pacing is good.
I did, however, find a few quirks distracting. The first is the substitution of the asterisk character for several names. It was convention back then- MV1 might have started it, I don't remember- but it seems ridiculous in retrospect. Weird is also spelled wierd consistently throughout the fic, which bothered me more than it really should have.
It was really good to see Art face the consequences of his choices and actually make things different this time around. I still feel he's not a very realistic SI- but a realistic SI often isn't a very fun one- but the wisecracking, self-conscious style more or less makes up for it. It was definitely darker and more real in tone versus MV1 and I think the character development worked well.
The Thane/Shepard romance felt a bit forced. It was definitely a case of author appeal overriding accurate characterization, and Art even comments on this. The Art/Tali relationship, on the other hand, felt a lot more natural and I enjoyed it a lot.
The first time I read this fic, I really didn't like the supernatural elements. In fact, it might have been why I stopped reading the first time. I wasn't as harsh on it this time, though I'll admit I'm still not a fan of it. However, it's decently integrated into the story and I'm going to wait for MV3 before passing final judgement.
I remember I was also rather harsh on the Heavy Rain loyalty mission the first time around and I figured I was being overly judgemental at the time. After reading this again, nope, it really did feel shoehorned in and stuck out like a sore thumb. Madison Paige... yeah, okay. The Origami Killer somehow not getting caught instantly despite 150 years of progress in forensics, not so much.
I have mixed feelings about the inclusion of characters and elements of other franchises in general. A lot of it felt like very specific author appeal, and appeal that feels dated at that. I remember having to look up Heavy Rain when I first read this fic, and we've moved on since. It may have been masterful storytelling in 2010 but it's been virtually forgotten since. Inception was hot stuff in 2010 but old news in 2017. With that being said, I doubt most fanfics are written with being read six years later in mind.
I did, however, find the indictment and dismissal of the Tea Party rather ironic.
All in all, MV2 is still a good fic and a definite classic, but it does feel incredibly dated at times. Looks like MV3 is next, and I don't recall ever reading that, so I'll be coming in with a blank slate and an open mind.
| Aria Frey chapter 35 . 7/21/2016
Eh... Can't say I'd continue reading beyond this point. It all started out okay. Had to suspend belief a few times with him being combat ready so soon and the space afterlife magic prophecies. The music and art stuff were pretty hammy too. But I kept with it cause the story was somewhat coherent. My biggest issue is that you pull the liar revealed card too many times. Garrus gets angry then wrex gets angry and etc. It gets really tiresome for you to go through the same motions with multiple characters. Either reveal it to just tali, everyone at once, or not at all. That's not to mention bringing in Madison Paige in and having an actual origami killer. I'm chucking over the railing at that bit.
| Ultimate Student chapter 28 . 4/20/2016
| Ultimate Student chapter 19 . 4/20/2016
Whats up with chapter 18.
| Waffleface chapter 25 . 4/4/2016
Oh, wow! You did a renegade! Woohoo!
| Waffleface chapter 24 . 4/4/2016
Being a Renegade is badass!
And sacrificing a dozen factory workers to take down the head of a criminal organization seems worth it.
| Waffleface chapter 23 . 4/4/2016
Okay, that KOTOR joek was damn funny.
| Waffleface chapter 22 . 4/4/2016
Jeez, we're finally done with Tali. After four chapters focused on her, it's nice to actually look at other characters.
...This is going to be all about her, isn't it?
| Waffleface chapter 21 . 4/4/2016
Aw, you're keeping Rael alive?
But his death is basically the catalyst for most of Tali's development in ME2 and ME3.
| Waffleface chapter 15 . 4/4/2016
You finally actually did something with Miranda that wasn't character bashing or dismissal.
| Waffleface chapter 13 . 4/4/2016
Aw, Kal dying would have made for a great twist :(