Reviews for The Demon Moon
TheMakara chapter 10 . 1/12/2016
This is directed at the FF in its entirety:
The story is good. Your writing in general is as well. However the way you make people act at times is hard to believe. While surely close to nobody acts the way the characters acted in KotOR2, they were believable. There are some scenes (eg. introduction of the force-bond) which were just unbearably unnatural. Also, you tend to say things indirectly, but very obviously, just to point towards them directly afterwards. For example in chapter 10 when Bri distracts the Exile and then afterwards points it out. by being extremely unnatural, the audience gets taken aback and remembers that this, in fact, is fiction. Something you usually want to avoid.
Guest chapter 10 . 8/5/2015
This was a really great story! It was original, but still stayed close enough to the game to be imaginable and nostalgic, had a perfect mix of humor, romance, action and development, and everyone was in character (not to mention it had BriannaxExile, which there aren't nearly enough of)! Since Kotor II recently just got an update on steam, is there a possibility for a sequel for this story? I'd love to see more of this!
timbale24 chapter 1 . 12/15/2014
After reading these 10 chapters man the nostalgia of this game is vivid in this stroy. From the attack on the enemies or the names the reactions of all the characters this story is really well made I tried looking for more chapters but alas it was left on a good note. Thanks so much for an entertaining and great story.
shadow slice chapter 10 . 10/10/2013
Hey good story man I think it would be cool if you continued where the game ends or pick up from when the game ends.
Jakeros chapter 10 . 9/21/2013
Great story. First Exile/Brianna fic on here that i found that was solid in its work.
You better make more. I want to see this go somewhere.
fullhans1 chapter 10 . 5/29/2013
Good story. Male Exile/Handmaiden is an underrated romace.
Guest chapter 10 . 1/15/2013
This is a great story, and the only good Handmaiden one. It is a great Shame that there is no sequel. I hope you reconsider this for the future.
hirohumi chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
This is a great story! It was great to see the relationship between the exile and the handmaiden grow, I wish something like this would have happened in the game. Is there any chance of you writing a sequel to this story, or have you decided to move on from kotor?
borismortys chapter 10 . 11/3/2011
Hi i really enjoyed your story, especially the personality of your Jedi Exile. He sounds like a real human being with human emotions and flaws. Especially for a Jedi; a group of people who most of the time tend to act like robots. anyway good work and i hope you write a sequel.
Topska chapter 10 . 5/24/2011
I'd say this ending was alright, it didn't feel abrunt or anything.

I would welcome a sequal though. Since now Handmaiden and Fret are together, it could focus more on the other characters and how they react to their relationship. Visas for example. Plus there's always Atris and Handmaiden's sisters. I've always been pretty curious about the history between Atris and the Exile and what should happen if they had more time to sort things out with each other. All in all, this story is mainly about the romance between Handmaiden and the Exile. Of course, that's not a bad thing, (I liked it) but I'd like to see the story expanded and other characters looked into more deeply. I've come to like the Exile and Handmaiden you've created. Next I'd like to do the same with all the other characters (meaning your versions of them, obviously).
Piroteknyk chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
Not bad but just so u kno, bao-dur can be trained too, usually on dantooine. So pretty much eveyone except mandalore and the droids have the option.(other than kreia and visas. And you) and if you want to learn more about mandalorians, read the republic commando books- they rock!
demonicnargles chapter 10 . 1/22/2011
First ever KOTOR fanfiction I've read, and it was quite good.

I agree with you, about Handmaiden and her name. It seems more likely that she would reveal it earlier than she does in the game, especially since by that point she has already abandoned everything she ever knew or lived by before then. What's a name compared with that?

Good going.

Noun of Nouns chapter 10 . 9/30/2010
An unfortunate thing that there aren't many Exile/Brianna stories around. Like the few that are, however, yours is a very good read.

Characterization of the exile's companions was perfect, plus the little snippets of HK-47 were simply superb- particularly the droid's comment about the permacrete detonators concerning Kumus.

Most importantly, the central aspect of this story was not only well done, but had an adequate pace to it as well. An added bonus in of itself, since there are stories out there that rush romantic entanglements to the point where it seems far from believable.

Your final take on their relationship in the final chapter was what really sealed the deal. Brianna does indeed make enough comparisons between herself and her parents that I felt it a good idea to bring it to light.

Al in all, a damn good story. I'd ask you to continue but, as you said yourself, you would have held off on bringing the parental situation into the fold if that were the case. Unfortunate, but I suppose its always best to leave it on a high note.
TheManApart chapter 10 . 8/21/2010
Excellent story, better than any I'd hoped for and with a great finish. It was good to read another rare and refreshing Exile/Brianna story (I've said it before and I'll say it again; there just aren't enough!), and I sincerely hope you'll write more adventures with them.
Marianne Bennet chapter 9 . 8/21/2010
Is there more? Please be more :)

I really enjoyed this story and (although I did not read it all in one sitting) I found the chapters to be flawlessly entertwined and I could pick up the story anywhere. The characters were in excellent form and I found youe exile to be both interesting and entertaining. Some exiles you don't have to look at twice and others you want to. I believe Fret is one of the latter.

I liked the way you revealed Brianna's true name and I'm now considering pushing up the release date of her name in my story considerably. I have some ideas now.

In addition, the writing style you use is very... hmmm, unsure of what to say... readbale? Is that a word? It was a good pattern to follow and I found that it helped convery the story with ease.

Another thing I liked was how you referred to the Handmaiden as "handmaiden" throughout all of the story until she revealed her own name where you began to describe her as Brianna. I was considering that after the fact in my story but figured that Brianna never truly gave Atris her name.

Like you said, I've written a lot here but a good story deserves a good review. I hope you continue to write KOTOR fan fiction (am interested in seeing what you would do with a Mira-Fret relationship but it's up to you)

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