|Reviews for Care Package|
| Miss Watzername chapter 13 . 10/30/2013
I'm apologizing for the rant right now so u can be prepared. :)
Okay so I started from the bottom and read my way up your works and I have to say - WOW! But towards your most recent ones I'm finding that you have not updated some fics for over a year! In fact, you've published a lot of fanfiction at around the same time and are only updating a few of them... and the worst part - All the plots are very very good so I don't really have anything to complain about! I just wish you would update all your stories or something like that. Just like I wish it was winter all year round, and that my crush would'nt go out with other people... why am I ranting?
P.s. Im sorry if I have any gramatical errors. My first language is hindi... so yeah...
13 year old (and proud of it) signing off.
| hitsukarin4lyf chapter 13 . 1/4/2013
| Finland0Tino.Hetalia chapter 5 . 12/27/2012
Man toshiro is really ooc
| Bloody-Rozez chapter 13 . 7/4/2012
I love your story! Please continue soon!
| StelzaRinator chapter 13 . 4/28/2012
Aww... Poor Karin and Shiro...
LET IT OUT TŌSHIRŌ! It'll make you feel better
| Thunder Claw03 chapter 13 . 4/27/2012
great job keep it up update soon
| Dark Inu Fan chapter 13 . 4/25/2012
Big part of why Toushirou doesn't want Ichigo to get involved: He's afraid Ichigo will pull the Big Brother (AKA Byakuya) card. Ichigo is fine with those two being friends... anything more could get a little hairy. Isshin would be all for it though! At least... after the initial 'I trust you, but don't let me down' speech (intense, bordering on glare, look). Keep up the good work, dark
| fan girl 666 chapter 13 . 4/25/2012
very cool chapter i like Karin and Toshiro talking
| Ginnya chapter 13 . 4/25/2012
Being a pre-teen and a teen is a hard stuff. No wonder so many people have gone bonkers.
| Toshika chapter 3 . 4/11/2012
Ok. it appears to me that you spent more time and thinking on this one as it is less peppered with mistakes than the previous two chapters are. Apart from that, the story goes back to its focus. Your punctuation, however, most specifically your use of comma, still needs work. Also, misspelled words are everywhere.
I am again, going to venture commenting on your delivery. Why, if I may ask, should every affectation or gesture be unraveled by facial contortions? Something like that, I suppose is a sell-out for you. I'm inclined to think you find such creative and somewhat effective. Frankly, it's pretty wearisome to read over and over again some stuff which goes like 'irritation filled someone's face' or 'a frown spread on his face'.
As a final note, the dialog doesn't go so natural either, as what one might expect.
| Toshika chapter 2 . 4/10/2012
Listen, for someone who claims to have a sharp eye at spotting mistakes and gives several tips on writing, you seem to be quite oblivious to the fact that with this chapter alone, a lot of readers are given enough reason to doubt your so-called skills in writing and spotting a good example of which. As i was saying, your prepositions are horrendous. If i were given less reason to assume you were indeed very proficient in what you claim to do, writing and proof-reading, so efficiently, I could so easily overlook your grammar. as it turns out, however, none of that leniency is called for here.
'I know get why he said that.'
'How are you doing Toshiro? Everyone's worried because your moping around,'
'Quite a few paused occurred'
Aside for these, your story-telling is very lacking in style. I can't quite satisfy myself with the simple gestures you use so as to allow the characters to express certain emotions. what i always get is a skin-deep description of their reactions such as, 'he raised his eyebrow; his jaw dropped; his eyes widened; it caused his jaw to blah blah blah'and other such predictable gestures which have been so overused around everywhere in this site. so much of this is all over the place that despite their not being altogether repetitive, they sound in fact worse than redundancy. they just stagnate the whole piece. really, i feel so dissuaded to go on reading, just when i kinda am starting to like the idea of ishiin and hitsugaya's former connection.
| Thunder Claw03 chapter 12 . 3/31/2012
great job update soon
| fan girl 666 chapter 12 . 3/30/2012
i like Orihime going to help Hinamori for Toshiro
| Toshika chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
ok. this isn't exactly the sort of pairing i'd follow through, but i'm looking for something light-hearted to read. Let's see... i can't quite tell what the plot bodes at this point, let alone have much to say about your way of unraveling romance. that being said, i'd rather comment on your writing. allow me to say that i find dozens of lines here which i presume would have been delivered with more style, if proofreading had been applied more adequately. for the most part, the conversations are really awkward. i'm sorry. aside form that, your use, or lack thereof, of punctuation is terrible. what i hated most is your constant habit of using the eyes to delegate emotions, as though everything could be made clear by that.
"Two dark eyes became quite perturbed"
that's really awkward for me. i suggest you consider getting a beta-reader, apart from getting serious with proof-reading.
| twilightrocks100 chapter 11 . 2/26/2012
It's great I love your stories them awesome!