Reviews for The Pit
Nikotehfox chapter 5 . 11/24/2010
I absolutely love this story and the ways that gender is explored! Oh, did Cologne hint that Genma got thrown into a personality spring because of something he stole and that's why he hasn't come around for Ranma? Cause I'm still a little unsure when it comes to what happened to him. Sorry if you already mentioned it, I'm a little oblivious to subtleties. ;) More chapters please!
BonusPoints chapter 5 . 11/24/2010
Oh, wow.

Since I have a soft spot in me for the poor fool, I gotta feel bad for Genma. *What* could he have stolen from the Musk? I suppose the Neko-Ken (or training scrolls for associated/related techniques) is an easy answer, and makes his punishment all the more poetically brutal. That it presents an opportunity to *help* Ranma overcome the pain he caused is the silver lining on the coal-black clouds.

I gather from your choice to maintain persistent pronouns, and based on your past writing, that you're going to be using a character's (and in this story Ranma's PoV is constant) gender identity as the decider of what to use, when, rather than sex. I see that in fics that either utterly ignore any effect Ranma's curse might have both on the character and their social environment, or fics that put a very great focus on them (rarely an in-between). Based on what you've written already, I'd feel confident putting money on the latter being the case ;)

So far it's been a captivating character exploration; I hope we'll see a lot more of it *in action* in the next few chapters, though.

I can see how that tiny, quickly buried flash of pity could be an explanation for some very unusual attitudes and behaviours down the line, if never explored.

Good luck, and have fun!
Immatrael chapter 5 . 11/24/2010
So Genma is cursed and locked. My thoughts? Kitten. Ouch. Nasty punishment.

I am strongly, strongly tempted to watch this Ranma interact with boys her own age - emphasis on "her". Something tells me that without the ludicrous "Man Amongst Men" claptrap, he'll be more willing to explore the possibilities offered by the curse, and while it wouldn't be in anything even approaching a romantic sense for a long while yet, the idea of Ranma learning how boys and girls interact from the OTHER side of the equation, at a young age and likely by trial and error (possibly even with the her-age Ryouga, if that hasn't happened yet) can only be adorable, hilarious and chaotic. Possibly all three.

I'm also very interested to see if Ukyo will happen. And whether Ryouga and Ranma are going to run into the Musk on their way out of the valley.

Mwaa ha ha haa. That would be fun.

Great to see another chapter of this, I wish you the very best of luck in finishing your "on-the-go" stories - and continue to pine for another chapter of Joketsuzoku Fu. But that, I suppose, I shall have to wait patiently for.

Diren chapter 5 . 11/24/2010
I liked it.

I hope you continue the story.

The only remark that when Ranma changes into a girl you write Ranma-chan as he and not she. I believe that the author should describe the person, depending on appearance and gender of the character and not the internal beliefs of the author. Many people write that Ranma thinks like a guy and believes he is the guy no matter what the situation upon which the author wrote the female form Ranma as he did. It is not very convenient for the reader. Also, the authors prove that the transformation of Ranma into a girl is not real but only an illusion.
Dumbledork chapter 5 . 11/24/2010
I like it.
Daisidian chapter 5 . 11/23/2010
Well, explaining the 'Sweet Heart' Thing kinda' kills the fun in assuming something romantic might happeb between them. Though is chapter is relatively good, it's not over the top or anything and doensn't give the right amount of character development you'd like form a single chapter.

I still like it though! Way to go! :D
deitarionSSokolow chapter 5 . 11/23/2010
Excellent chapter. You continue to do beautifully on the effects of the curse and how it's helping to define your Ranma as a character.
tatewaki2000 chapter 5 . 11/23/2010

Genma is a kitten! :O

Nahhh. That's just my wild imagination...

Anyways, wonderful story.

Wonderful. when I read your story, it really does brighten my day.

Thank you.
Final-Fan chapter 4 . 11/21/2010

Well well well. This was a treat to discover. I'm not really confident in making predictions considering what's been revealed so far:

-Akane's spirit at Jusenkyo with apparently canon info (but she's a special case due to her spirit perception of time)

-Ryoga obviously knows Ranma

-Shampoo DOESN'T and is Ranma's age

-Cologne APPEARS not to but could possibly be acting

And I trust (really truly I do) there is some exceedingly good reason for Genma's absence. The man ranges from abusive to monstrous depending on interpretation, and either genuinely cares for his son or considers him a vehicle for easy retirement or martial arts legacy or whatever; but the one indisputable constant is that he'd have no reason to abandon his child/heir/tool.

I just don't know what that means actually happened. I hope this gets far enough that I find out.
RainGoddess2040 chapter 4 . 11/14/2010
I'm really enjoying this so far. I love Ranma and Ryoga's relationship. It's so gorgeous. I love you descriptions and how detailed you make their reactions to situations. I can't wait to read more and find out more about how these things came to be.
Rose1948 chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
I just read Chapters 1 through 4 and while a bit puzzled I'm enjoying the story so far. Interesting intel on the differences on how men and women view things and all. Nothing wrong with research. I do a bit of that myself. ::chuckles::

Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Adi chapter 4 . 10/9/2010
I really like this gentle and fatherly Ryoga. keep going!
Joustingforcancer chapter 4 . 9/22/2010
It's an interesting story so far, and I'll continue to read it. But I just have to throw this out there. I have never heard a man call a little boy sweetheart. I don't do it with my little boys. I call girls sweetheart. And I've heard many women call little boys sweetheart. It's just...a little jarring. And vaguely creepy. Sorry dude. I had to say it.
KaleRaven chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
Ryoga is quite paternal it seems. It really makes me wonder how he ended up here, because it's hard to imagine the canon Ryoga being quite like this.

I have to say though, that I was a fair bit bothered by the 'gender differences' part. Well, let's be accurate here... "sex differences" since we're talking about physical and biological traits, not social roles. In any case, while fascinating, putting too much weight into these relatively subtle differences flirts with sex essentialism. For many traits, the variation within a given sex tends to be greater than the average difference between two sexes.

Moreover assuming Ranma has those kinds of the differences between his two forms, most of them aren't likely to be on a scale that he would notice, especially as a child. It's not like he'd be interested in one thing one moment, then totally change the next. He is still fundamentally the same person.

I don't want to downplay the research you've done, but it's so easy to get carried away when talking about this sort of thing. Really, it is hard to tell just what precisely is due to biology in the first place, since subtle gender socialization begins from birth and the people running the studies can't completely divorce themselves from their own ideas or biases.

I guess this all is my roundabout way of saying I hope too much weight isn't placed on this aspect going forward, because it does a disservice to show just how complex the notion of gender truly is.
Mirror and Image chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
Hn, this is interesting, and I'm curious where you're going with this. It looks suspiciously like a "let's fix all these misunderstandings" stories, but one that might actually do it in a good/right way. The time-travel Ryouga I find particularly interesting - though I admit that's because he's my favorite character. Ranma's perspective is nice - doubly so since he actually thinks vaguely like a kid, and the semi-formed ideas of a Man Among Men really hit's home on how screwed up Genma's training is and how little the poor kid really understands. With his skewed opinions it's a wonder he turns out half as well as he did.

Cologne and Shampoo were particularly interesting because one knows what's going on and the other DOESN'T, leaving me really curious on just what the deeper storyline it. But the cake stealer of this chapter had to be Akane and her mystery. I want to know what happens next!

I didn't see any question in your author's notes, but if it's alright I'd like to make a couple comments. Primary of which is I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with Ryouga being Ranma's "father." Deep familial bonds - which is what I think you're going for - don't necessarily have to have a name, and I'd feel much better if the story took a turn for "brothers." They are best friends - in my opinion and in their very dysfunctional way - and I really look forward to seeing how their friendship would mend as the two of them get closer. Will they stay in the village much longer or is it just a step on the journey? Obviously they end up at the Tendos, but how long will it take for them to get there?

The side characters... the cast is just too big to fix every problem in the series, it would be easier to keep it to the a core set of characters; going too far afield can sometimes make these kinds of fics worse not better. Some people (the Kuno's come to mind) are just a little too nuts to change, and it's not worth the effort.

Predictions: Ranma learning about P-chan. His curse really isn't so bad! Does Ryouga have a sense of direction in this fic? - I picture getting lost and running into the "jilted" Ukyo and fixing that little mess relatively quickly. Or maybe even a vague explanation of Ryouga to Ranma about what's going on.

Thanks for the good read!

~da twin

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