|Reviews for The Pit|
| KaleRaven chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
Ryoga is quite paternal it seems. It really makes me wonder how he ended up here, because it's hard to imagine the canon Ryoga being quite like this.
I have to say though, that I was a fair bit bothered by the 'gender differences' part. Well, let's be accurate here... "sex differences" since we're talking about physical and biological traits, not social roles. In any case, while fascinating, putting too much weight into these relatively subtle differences flirts with sex essentialism. For many traits, the variation within a given sex tends to be greater than the average difference between two sexes.
Moreover assuming Ranma has those kinds of the differences between his two forms, most of them aren't likely to be on a scale that he would notice, especially as a child. It's not like he'd be interested in one thing one moment, then totally change the next. He is still fundamentally the same person.
I don't want to downplay the research you've done, but it's so easy to get carried away when talking about this sort of thing. Really, it is hard to tell just what precisely is due to biology in the first place, since subtle gender socialization begins from birth and the people running the studies can't completely divorce themselves from their own ideas or biases.
I guess this all is my roundabout way of saying I hope too much weight isn't placed on this aspect going forward, because it does a disservice to show just how complex the notion of gender truly is.
| Mirror and Image chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
Hn, this is interesting, and I'm curious where you're going with this. It looks suspiciously like a "let's fix all these misunderstandings" stories, but one that might actually do it in a good/right way. The time-travel Ryouga I find particularly interesting - though I admit that's because he's my favorite character. Ranma's perspective is nice - doubly so since he actually thinks vaguely like a kid, and the semi-formed ideas of a Man Among Men really hit's home on how screwed up Genma's training is and how little the poor kid really understands. With his skewed opinions it's a wonder he turns out half as well as he did.
Cologne and Shampoo were particularly interesting because one knows what's going on and the other DOESN'T, leaving me really curious on just what the deeper storyline it. But the cake stealer of this chapter had to be Akane and her mystery. I want to know what happens next!
I didn't see any question in your author's notes, but if it's alright I'd like to make a couple comments. Primary of which is I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with Ryouga being Ranma's "father." Deep familial bonds - which is what I think you're going for - don't necessarily have to have a name, and I'd feel much better if the story took a turn for "brothers." They are best friends - in my opinion and in their very dysfunctional way - and I really look forward to seeing how their friendship would mend as the two of them get closer. Will they stay in the village much longer or is it just a step on the journey? Obviously they end up at the Tendos, but how long will it take for them to get there?
The side characters... the cast is just too big to fix every problem in the series, it would be easier to keep it to the a core set of characters; going too far afield can sometimes make these kinds of fics worse not better. Some people (the Kuno's come to mind) are just a little too nuts to change, and it's not worth the effort.
Predictions: Ranma learning about P-chan. His curse really isn't so bad! Does Ryouga have a sense of direction in this fic? - I picture getting lost and running into the "jilted" Ukyo and fixing that little mess relatively quickly. Or maybe even a vague explanation of Ryouga to Ranma about what's going on.
Thanks for the good read!
| Ozzallos chapter 4 . 9/19/2010
Okay, i promised to be back after a few chapter and here I am. Not simply that, I'm glad I did, because this is developing into a very interesting story; especially with the spirit of Akane in the mix. Great spelling and grammar, of course, but it's the plot that's firing on all eight cylinders.
Ryoga's manner toward Ranma is still a bit odd, but I'm assuming that gets talking points sooner or later. Obviously ranma's own canon development is out the window and in the hands of a lesser author, but I can't fault anything in the four chapters I've read, so i'll take it on gospel you've got this in some way shape or form.
So, revised plot prediction says Akane bit it in the future and that's when they found out about the real curse of the springs. Ryoga obviously has warp jump drives now, so i'm guessing he and Ranma came to an agreement- Ryoga, do whatever it takes to save Akane from that spring, even up to screwing up Ranma's canon development.
Or I could be full of BS, which is half the fun.
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| nadia chapter 4 . 9/19/2010
that was some very cool info at the end of this chapter. luvin the story, keep up the good work.
| egoserenade chapter 4 . 9/18/2010
Ah, it's a shame to see that this isn't another Ranma-Ryoga story.
The story seems interesting enough so far, if a bit confusing as to what's going on, but I'm not that clear on what the plot twist is going to be aside from getting Genma out of the picture at an earlier age. It's good to see Ranma fell into the pool again. The only reason I think Ranma stories are worth reading is for the gender conflict, after all. Though, I like it much more when the 'man amongst men' ending isn't that one that pans out.
As for gender differences... I think people put far too much emphasis on silly, inconsequential things and far too little on what I see to be the biggest overall difference - emotions. Emotions just work very differently between the sexes. Though I hate to admit it, men really are more emotionally *driven* towards 'success'. That's something that I'd change if I could 'redesign' how the genders differ. On the other hand, women are capable of deriving much more joy out of feelings of connectedness and emotional and sensory sensitivities, but simultaneously are far less gripped by anger and emotional tension. Of course, this is all 'on average' and purely my own opinion :)
I think that everything else aside from a different priority on emotions is trivial, though. People look at the opposite gender as being *so* different, but I think that most of what we perceive as differences is really nothing more than a social facade - acting out this or that role. At the core, I think we're all really the same, even if we're putting on different clothes and accoutrements and affecting different mannerisms.
| Janissasonic.net chapter 4 . 9/18/2010
I think you are creating a great story. I love this last chapter as it has show a great deal of thought behind and the research you have done shows.
Thank you for creating it and I am looking forward to reading the next chapter.
| DanYHKim chapter 4 . 9/17/2010
Very nice treatment of the boy/girl differences. You are going beyond the usual "ice cream tastes better" that most writers stay with. I am enjoying this story, even though it is making me confused (why is Ryoga there at this time? What's going on?). I figure I'll let it be revealed when the time is right.
| Aoirann chapter 4 . 9/17/2010
So how di Ryouga end up in the past? Accidentally ran into the TARDIS and hitched a ride? Got so lost he warped Space and time? Got into a hit and run with the Deloran?
| DaisukiFox chapter 4 . 9/16/2010
I'm sooo confused! .
Yays! Just like your 'Happily Married' did to me before. :D
Well... it really has me interested in what's going on in Ryoga's mind, because he doesn't seem to outwardly hate Ranma. It also makes me wonder why he was so nice to Ranma to began with... why refer to him as sweet heart? Ryoga can't be Ranma's father, that's for sure.
It makes me wonder if he was from the future and did fall for Ranma... I mean, thats what makes me wonder.
Okay... Ryoga starts out completely hating Ranma because of the bread thing and that gets worse because Ranma didn't show up. Well... because Ryoga was late.
This has to relate to the cannon because there's no AU marking in the summary of this. .
Or am I thinking this out at too early of a stage? I'm still gonna' try and figure some of this out...
There has to be something... Ryoga could maybe want to protect Akane's and Ranma's relathionship in the future because they're friends and he has come to accept that Ranma is with Akane!
Another idea I have is... that Ryoga maybe just wants to be friends with Ranma. So, by doing this he's ensuring his future friendship!
Well... that's all I can form with what limited information you've shown me. It's all probably wrong, but I'm still hopeful this revolves around Ranma and Ryoga in some way... I've already read too much AkaneXRamna. I even searched for some awesome ones! And they still managed to bore me... hmm... I don't dislike Akane as much as I used to.
Look at me... ranting and it doesn't even have anything to do with the chapter. Oh well... at least you're getting reviews that are well deserved.
Hope reading this doesn't bore you too much! '
| Nikotehfox chapter 4 . 9/16/2010
Wow! I really liked this chapter! Plus the hints of Ryoga having met grown-up!Ranma. ;D The gender stuff is really interesting and I'd love to see those links/sites you mentioned. :) Great chapter and I can't wait for more!
P.S. I found a typo. :D You put " loosing his gravitas suddenly" when I think you meant "loosing his gravity suddenly". Just thought you should know! :D
| marc chapter 2 . 9/16/2010
great chapter, i say that ranma and shampoo get along at first.
| marc chapter 1 . 9/16/2010
great story so far, great details. keep up the good work.
| BonusPoints chapter 4 . 9/16/2010
That was an enjoyable chapter, that definitely gave a lot of room to think about what you plan on doing with this from here on. Poor Ryoga lost to Cologne *hard*, although that's probably a good thing for Ranma. I still have to know what his angle is on this, and it's starting to look like you've settled on one, and have collected the ideas/plot for some time to come.
Ranma's going to have a rough time growing up. Going through puberty twice (with overlap) will be something else.
I'm looking forward to where this goes next!
| tatewaki2000 chapter 4 . 9/16/2010
An interesting chapter.
| yellulhchicken chapter 4 . 9/16/2010
Soooooo did this Ryouga really kill Genma or did he do an 'oversoul' where the spirit molded the body to look like Ryoga's original body? Clearly this Ryoouga knows the future or maybe knows of the future so he may be a time traveling person(body included) or spirit(having hijacked Genma's body) or he is some sort of Precog who killed Genma or simply let Genma die. whichever it is your story is still a decent read and has an interesting plot device.