|Reviews for The Pit|
| deanine chapter 16 . 7/21/2015
Wow. Amazing read. Very thoughtfully written.
| Yasha-HebiHime chapter 16 . 6/18/2015
At first, I dismissed this story because it was strange to me. A younger Ranma being saved by an older Ryoga? It didn't make sense, and it was confusing that a Ranma could still be Ranma while under this idea... But you made it work. You made a Ryoga that could move through worlds... and a Ranma that existed once, but in two different periods in time.
The only real complaints I had was when some things got rather... confusing. Early on, you had Ranma, the young one, going on about having multiple fiancees when he was going to visit Spirit-Akane the second time... and a majority of the confusion I had for this story came from when the time lines began to mix, and two of the same character were around. You fixed it in some cases, with Ranma-Ue and "Hibiki", but the lack of detail in some of the situations made it difficult.
But overall, I'd have to say this is a rather... moving story, considering the usual negative bias I have towards time travel stories. There are still a few questions though:
How did Genma know exactly what portal to go through, or was it just luck? He went into that world's specific past... and the Ryoga the 'older' Ranma visited to tell him about the Cat Fist seemed more distrusting than the Ryoga at the beginning of the story. Not to mention that that Genma never reappeared at the end, though I was expecting the older Ryoga to out right kill him if he reappeared.
Not sure what the younger Ryoga is going to do, traveling with 'himself', either... Which brings me to the final question:
Will there be a sequel?
The answer is probably a strong, but sad, 'no', because there isn't too much for this story to give as far as I can tell. The return of Genma, possibly, but that would only be a minor point... Although, I wouldn't mind seeing a minor side story about the older Ranma accepting his female side even more... and possibly learning how to behave as one a bit better.
On the other hand, it wouldn't be... strange for you to mix in other stories or just other universes for them to travel through now. Not sure how you feel about Sailor Moon cross overs, but I can see an interesting annoyance with the older Ryoga getting yelled at by Sailor Pluto. Time travel is a jerk, after all.
Finally, I'd have to say I kind of expected things to go... differently, in a way. Up until the 14th chapter or so, I had thought Ranma, the older one, was starting to feel longing for comfort in a different way. I had, in some strange thought process, thought that he was feeling the urge to /mother/ the child, in order to comfort it in a way he wasn't able to. An older Ryoga as the 'Father' and teenage 'Ranma' mothering a younger Ranma would be... weird, however, and the end result was probably better than what I had thought.
Slightly increased my hatred for the character that is Genma, but better.
Still, a great story, even if a bit confusing at times due to lack of details... and one I am glad to have read. Hope to see more Ranma work from you, we definitely need it around here!
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/7/2015
Seriously is Ryoga supposed to be a pedophile or something because what kind of young man goes around calling a little boy sweetheart all the time? If you're trying to portray Ryoga as gay but not a pedophile why would you possible portray Ryoga Hibike of all people as ultra-feminine?
| Natalie-E-G chapter 3 . 5/16/2015
do not read if not wanting to see spoiler
Ok, called him getting cursed early right. Guessing it will be female curse.
Definitely developing a different personality/world view. Girls are not weak. Girls can "kick-butt and take-names". Your view of Jusenkyo is interesting. A nexus for time at the location.
Assuming it is Ranma receiving an the girl type curse earlier, he will definitely have even a greater change in world view.
It looks like Ryoga is going to be raising him not the Tendos. Just curious if Ryoga wants to devote 10 years or more to raising Ranma. I think he would be better taking Ranma back to his mother.
| Natalie-E-G chapter 2 . 5/16/2015
More to support Nanban Mirror start. Cologne does not recognize Ryoga so must be in past Shampoo is child. Thinking about it, in chapter 1 Ryoga seemed to know something about what happened to Genma. More to suggest he had some part in Genma's disappearance.
They are near Jusenkyo. Sounds like girl type Ranma in the makings.
Almost positive now, Ryoga is deliberately changing the past. If it to become a Ranma x Ryoga, I hope Ryoga leave Ranma with Tendos and drops from the scene for at least 8 or 10 years appearing again as his younger self only without all the angst.
| Ranchan17 chapter 16 . 2/22/2015
Loved it, bravo.-
| Saggit chapter 5 . 2/18/2015
Oh! One other thing, that has to do with the way you're treating sight. I could be wrong about this, but my impression was that color and night vision were in a certain sense diametrically opposed. That is, very generally, rods help with night vision, and cones are the basis for color. You can only have so much of either, and if you have plenty of cones, your night vision will suffer. If you have on balance more rods, your night vision is stronger, but your color sense isn't very good.
I suspect you can see where I'm going with this. If Ranma becomes a girl and gains more cones-for whatever reason-then he wouldn't see a brighter world or one filled with more contrasts, as much as one in which the colors had more variety, and perhaps intensity.
This isn't considered genetic, from what I've seen, but a matter of familial DNA. My mother has a surplus of cones; so do I. We both have excellent color sense, but she's extremely night blind, and I'm slowly getting there. My wife, her sister, and their mother have superior night vision, but their ability to see registers of color is very limited.
| Saggit chapter 4 . 2/18/2015
Five years on, so I've no idea if you'll ever see this; still...
I've read through the middle of chapter 5. Very nice job. You've created a nice atmosphere of doubt, leaving readers who know the series to wonder what exactly is going on. And you've played a careful hand not to give away too many clues. Good characterizations, as well. Cologne and Ryouga are very much on target, as are young Shampoo and Ranma-the last two blurred, as though their subsequent development was only generally glimpsed. Wan-Da doesn't strike one as superimposed from outside, and the strange Lady of Pools adds yet another riddle.
I'm looking forward to the rest of this.
| Guest chapter 16 . 2/15/2015
Aww that was beautiful!
I loved it!
| Guest chapter 4 . 2/10/2015
truth to be told yes. I find those differences quite interesting. like you I'm a bit of sexist but I don't see it as a bad thing. what would be bad is to consider one gender better than the other. I don't. but I do consider they are different. both are better at some things and worse at other things. between the two they are best at everything. at least that's my humble (probably correct) opinion.
if you can send me those links please do it to thank you
| flairina chapter 16 . 2/12/2015
Heh, I wouldn't say the Ranma fandom is THAT small- it is compared to say, the HP or Naruto fandoms, but that's a rather relative measurement.
Anyways, on the whole, a very well put together story! Glad to see it completed with most of the niggling questions answered; Shampoo going with them is a nice touch and I'm glad what was going on with the amazons was answered in the end. Can't imagine Mousse will be thrilled when he realizes Shampoo is gone though, and I do wonder what Cologne is going to do now... not to mention what Genma is going to do when he eventually shows back up. Suppose we'll never know.
Although I didn't get to read the last two chapters consecutively with the rest, they still read quite well and seem to integrate naturally with the previous ones in a way that allows a nice flow in to the ending. There are still some open questions, but they no longer concern the characters we were actually focused on, so it's not terribly important I suppose.
I appreciate your attempt to dive in to the gender dynamics and effect they would have on a growing Ranma; most of the stories that try to do this don't usually take a developmental approach. The clash in ideals, even with the massive age gap, was interesting to view, perhaps actually more so because of it (there was no fighting, just observing and uncomfortableness leading to forced introspection). Not something I've seen in a Ranma fic before more than maybe one or two other times, I don't think. I won't try to speak on the topic of abuse; I'm not particularly experienced in that and I'd probably put my foot in my mouth, but I think you showed it fine (as my last review indicated, you certainly made us feel what we needed to feel).
I've nothing more to say besides keep up the great work. Congrats on finishing, hope to see more from you soon!
| Blinded in a bolthole chapter 3 . 2/12/2015
it got too weird.
| The Keeper of Worlds chapter 16 . 2/11/2015
This is complicated fun:)
| Staggered Pichu chapter 16 . 2/9/2015
I may not have been with this story for day one like some of your other fans but I live it just the same. It's sad to see it end but I enjoyed reading it very much and the ending is satisfying. Thank you for posting this and allowing us to read your writing. It's fantastic, great job.
| FireInLife chapter 16 . 2/9/2015
Oh, how I really wish there was a sequel to this. Just one of those stories with very little plot, having the main characters just go on one adventure after another. That'd just be so perfect. Even a small "10 years later" would have been nice to read (although I have no idea how you'd manage that).
Of course, the way you ended it was fine. I like how it has turned out, and you did a good job salvaging a horrible tragedy into a fairly happy ending. It's been a fun journey throughout all of this, so thank you