|Reviews for Out from Under|
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 23 . 3/7
Woah! First parallel story then this?
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 20 . 3/7
Good for her! Nice
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 19 . 3/7
Awww this is giving too many feels send help!
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 16 . 3/7
Awwww I'm so glad they talked it out
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 13 . 3/7
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 9 . 3/7
Lmao! This chapter rocked omg so funny they set her up
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 7 . 3/7
Awww I loved this ending
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 6 . 3/7
He gets so worried but why does he never trust her
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 5 . 3/7
Omg great timing Edward!
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 4 . 3/7
Omg he's been living there? The plot thickens...
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 3 . 3/5
Oh this chapter is heartbreaking poor Bella she never did have it quite figured out
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 2 . 3/5
Ooh watch out Jacob Bells is aaaaangry!
| fallingforthecaptain chapter 1 . 3/5
Ooh what an opening chapter!
| Calyptra chapter 42 . 2/17/2016
I enjoyed this version much more than the original one. It whole idea you had around imprinting was pretty awesome. I am a little imprinting-hater, so I loved who you manipulated the idea of imprinting, so that Jacob was able to choose her and his wolf just accepted it because he lived her so much. It's more real than any imprint could be.
Jaz was a nice touch, although I would have liked a better understanding of her nature. You know, more background information on her tribe.
What I liked very much, was the fact that you created something for Jake. He didn't just run away and hide. He had a purpose and he made something for himself even though he was carrying this unbearable pain. You also wrote some pretty good and touching scenes between him and Bella.
I enjoyed very much the dialogue between Bella and Andy. When she told her she knew all about Embry but wanted to fall irrationally in love first so she wouldn't feel cheated and give him her all. That way you justified this madness with Edward (yeah, not so much a fan. Although I have to say that he did step away with dignity)
The unbinding ritual was interesting. As was the aspect that the secrecy of the tribe was dangerous to the wolve's sanity as well as to the people's safety. You have a point there and I admit that I have never given it much thought how it would affect the whole story if the tribe wasn't ignorant.
There were quite a few more things that very interesting. For example the Volturi using Bella to have a excuse to annihilate both the pack and the Cullens.
All in all you did a pretty good job with a innovative storyline and nice writing.
There was one thing that kind of ruined it a little bit for me thoug. The mention of Stephanie Meyer's name. First and obvious reason is that it's fan fiction. Stick to fictional character, no matter if they were created by you or borrowed.
Additionally, you borrowed her story, a little respect would be in order.
Don't get me wrong, I loathed the imprinting Renesmee never would have happened. Most twisted, sick screw up one could have imagined. Hell, if I could have my way Bella would have told Edward after the fight in eclipse to kiss her skinny, little ass and would have gotten herself some hit werewolf.
The whole messup in Breaking Dawn gave me the impression that she pulled and pushed until she could have Bella being a selfish bitch stringing Jake along and proving her innocent in the end. All wrapped up in the nice virginal couple that wanted to spend eternity together but had to wait until marriage to actually be intimidate. Of course the little hybrid couldn't have missed, because not having a "proper family" wouldn't allow the advertisement of certain believes. Nit to mention that they way she described vampires they shouldn't be able to have a hard on never mind functioning sperm. She tried too hard to fuse supernatural with archaic society expectations.
So yeah I'm glad that you burned her, never let Nessie happen, had her choose Jake and mocked the original ending. But you would have had the same result by using another, fictional name. Everyone would have known but you would be in the clear.
But that's the only thing that really rubbed me wrong.
Pretty amazing story, thanks for sharing!
| wtdf chapter 35 . 12/1/2015
35 of 43 chapters and this is is suppose to be a J/B fanfic?!