|Reviews for A Series of Firsts|
| cast14 chapter 12 . 10/11/2010
aww.. great story i loved it
| JustCallMeWhatever chapter 12 . 10/4/2010
Although these chapters are EXTREMELY short, they are also very cute.
| Ashleigh131 chapter 5 . 9/3/2010
these drabbles are pretty good!
can't wait to read more!
please update soon!
| Fairy Of Anime chapter 5 . 8/25/2010
i love it! it was sooo cute!
| cast14 chapter 5 . 8/24/2010
aww great story i'm loving it
| love109 chapter 2 . 8/20/2010
love it update soon :D
| Gaaras1Girl chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
"The first time Uchiha Sasuke met his teammates, he felt disgusted because they weren't anything special. Seeing his female teammate laugh at him for kissing his other male teammate infuriated him."
In this paragraph you did something I like t call "recycling words". Now that that's said take a look at the word "teammate", do you see how many times it was used in this paragraph? If you don't understand the problem try reading this paragraph out loud to yourself.
Do you now see how it trips up the flow of your writing?
"She sounds interesting." Was all he said.
For a quotation like this it should have ended in a comma rather then a period; like this:
"She sounds interesting," Was all he said.
Good luck with your writing.
-GG from Critics United