Reviews for Blood Traitor
Aiko Isari chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Wow. Just wow.

Excuse me while I recover my jaw. I think it rolled down the street with joy.

I love the writing style. It's simple but powerful, with just enough complex imagery to make a clear vision. I love the way Andromeda is presented. She is strong and very aware of who she is as a person and just how the world around her can be. Her love for Teddy and her husband is strong and real, standing out over all her other emotions and ultimately leading her down her own path.

I didn't actually notice this story was in present tense until my second read through, which makes this even better! I have a mild anxiety about present tense and I'm happy to note it didn't bother me at all!

I do kind of sense the awkwardness you mentioned. However, you did a great job with the character and story in any case. it's a really great story. thank you.
persevera chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
An interesting choice for a character study. In the books, of course, Andromeda and Ted were middle-aged and mostly concerned about their daughter. It's nice to think of them as young and passionate, which they would have had to have been to risk so much to be together.
[As they disappear into the night she recognizes a cruel and dark laughter chasing after her in the darkness.]-This is such an evocative sentence. It's hard to think of Bellatrix in the warm sunlight. She's embraced the dark in every way. It even comes through in her laugh, as she hunts her sister.
Andromeda's doubt about the cost of the war is moving. She lost so much and it would take time before she could see justification for it, but finally did in the only family she had left.
The writing isn't maudlin, wanting readers to wallow in Andromeda's grief. It's told factually, and a little distantly, with the breaks in story and time acting as natural stops to one's emotional reactions.
I enjoyed reading about this lesser-sung HP character.
IrishPanther chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
Amazing story! Even though I'm a fan of Harry Potter, I don't know most of the characters in the story (didn't read past the 5th book...but I've heard of Bellatrix). You did an amazing job with description after description, something I find truly astonishing in authors since some write stories with little to no dialogue!

The plot was great, seeing as a pure-blood loving a non pure-blood (and that being wrong in the HP universe) made for an interesting story. I felt bad for Andromeda as she knew that she would never see her family after marrying Ted; it's a shame that would have been disowned, but it is what it is. You can never break apart true love, and I felt for the protagonist when she quitely eloped.

The war is something that I've never read up on, but I know it's something huge. It was sad to read what occurred to Andromeda's husband and daughter. Even after all of that, you portrayed Andromeda having a glimpse of hope, knowing that she wouldn't want to live her past life any different.

No grammar mistakes were spotted, so nice work with that! Once again, I truly enjoyed reading this marvelously written one-shot! :)
warriorfist chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
I love the minimalist, pure narration approach you took with this story. It paid off handsomely. A full character arc that hit all the right notes, and that's quite impressive since you spent the bare minimum time on each important event.

I love how you spent one line each on Nymphadora's birth and her and Lupin's death. That said all there was to be said about them.

Personally I would have liked it if you spent a bit more time in the interregnum period between the two wars and touched a bit more on Nymphadora and the Tonks' happy life (or lack of it), which would have made the loss afterwards much more arresting and meaningful to the reader. Nevertheless the story is fine enough as it is.

Overall, the simplistic yet taut structure made this one a winner. Hats off to a job well done!
Zelda12343 chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
I loved this! You should write more Harry Potter fics!
I also love what you've done with Andromeda. Too many fics portray her as a person like her sisters (cruel and heartless, only marrying Ted to escape her family or something like that, etc.), but you've portrayed her very sympathetically. I see her as a sympathetic character myself.
Great job!
Mistress Of The Macabre chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
I really enjoyed reading this. Andromedia isn't the easiest character to write from, but I think you did a wonderful job here! I really like the way you've portrayed her- and how you've portrayed the pure-bloods. I admit, they irked me before, but...well, they're not my favorite characters now, at any rate xD

Great job, I really liked reading this!

Mistress. :)
Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 1 . 10/21/2012
So my familiarity with the fandom isn't really what it should be, so in that we're rather alike. :P

Rolling Commentary:

Sounds like a nice guy. Also sounds like she has her priorities straight.

And that sounds like why she has her priorities straight. Heh. Though one wonders how she ended up with straight priorities in a household like that.

D'aww... Hope that works out! Have a feeling it won't, though. Hrm. :/

Argh! Run! Ruuuuun!

Heh. Yes. Plans. Plans are good. But what shall the plan be? Hm.

Heh. That's a plan, I reckon. A plan in action, even. Also, d'aww.

Also d'aww. :D

Hrm. That's not so good. Move far, far away?

Hrm. That figures. Maybe she can be, heh, disappeared? Fthagn sellout.

It neva ends, aye.

Hey, that part is well, aye? Hope for the future.

...Or not, okay...

...Argh. Okay, argh. That's... Depressing. We're left wondering if it was worth it as well.

Well, guess it is, but... What a cost.

Well, at least she's... If not happy, then satisfied with the outcome, I guess. The reader's kind of sad, though. :/

General Thoughts:

Well! That was depressing. :( I mean it ended on something of a high note, but even that's kind of slightly depressing. ALL THE FEELS!

Seriously bumpy ride there. I like it, but still. Just... Ouch. Well, as always, I admire your ability to get so many feels in so short a space... Even if this is one of your longer fics, there are still an awful lot of feels there. Not good feels though. Sad feels.

It's a good story though. I like it on that angle. Just... Ouch, man. XD
Ckorkows chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
This was an interesting fic. I like how it shows the progression of her life and how she suffered/benefited from being a blood traitor. I do wish that the part about Ted's death had been it's own little side thought, somewhere in the middle there so we would know if he died during the first or second war (you can decide, I don't think the books mention when). But overall this was nice and bittersweet. A look at the wars and pureblood society from a woman who knew it best, and at how all of the horrors were necessary to get to this point. And, even though she probably wants to at times, she doesn't regret it.
Enjoy the Ride,
SkywardDiamond chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
"He's quiet, shy, and just a bit dorky, constantly pushing his glasses up as they slip down his narrow nose. He's not handsome, wealthy, not even particularly funny or desirable; but he's nice, and she finds all his little quirks endearing.

And best of all, he's not a pure-blood. He doesn't care about blood and lineages, about purity and those who are tainted. He sees the world without being blinded by silly prejudices, and that makes him the most beautiful person she's ever seen."
You had me at 'dorky'! I love this guy already.

Wow, I loved this story, every section of it. I like how you separated it in that way. It made it easy to understand and picture that a lot of time has passed. This little fic, even though I don't know the characters, was interesting and kept my attention from start to finish. I cared about these characters that I don't even know, and felt for them. I loved this!
I felt for them as they realized that couldn't be together, but went ahead and risked everything to marry anyway, and when they had their daughter, and when they feared for their lives and their daughter's life, and was sad when everyone that Andromeda had were lost. But the story ends with a glimmer of hope with the little boy.
This was well thought out and nicely written. Very much enjoyed this!
RedheadedMarina chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
I would not have guessed that you were unfamiliar with this fandom. I thought this was very well written and poignant.

The short paragraphs and changing POV feels very right for this story. To me, it seemed like flashes of memory coming back at odd times, and it's only once you get to the end that you realize how they were all connected.

No spelling/grammar issues that I could see, but I know you're very experienced.

The line "...even amongst such carnage, life can still begin." So very, very true.

Beautifully done. I look forward to reading more of your work.
darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Wow! This was amazing! The Lestrange sisters are some of my favorite HP characters, so I always enjoy anything written about them. And Andromeda isn't one we know a whole lot about, so it's certainly not a long-shot she might have fallen for a mud-blood. And of course, her family would be up in arms about it. I'm not surprised that Narcissa and Bella would have shunned her. How sad! But I think the saddest thing would be that Bellatrix murdered her daughter and son-in-law. But even in all this sadness, all the carnage of the war, there is a small bit of hope...their little boy. How sweet it is that Andromeda still has him and that she wouldn't change it. I really loved this. Well done! I really loved this! :)

One minor error:

The day Nymphadora is born in the happiest day of her life.-it should be 'is the happiest day.
TheFictionFairy chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
I just love when authors focus their fics on minor characters! You did an great job of fleshing out the character of Andromeda - her relationship with her family was especially telling, because it underscored the idea that the notions of "blood purity" were ironically just ripping families apart. You seem to really have a gift for presenting large, complex ideas through small, concise scenes - very well done. My favorite part has to be that you mirrored the best and worst days of Andromeda's life in single sentence snippets - very plain, but very powerful. Excellent work!
Regina Hark chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
I found this story very poignant, strong. When I first started reading this, I felt this undercurrent of emotion, this expectation within the words. Before I read this, I though of Andromeda as Tonks' mother. A name but no one really expected. Like a chair in a room, it's there but it's isn't the spectacle and could easily be ignored.

This story just felt like a couple of snapshots flickering past my eye. I try to concentrate on each one and the more I do, the more I want to grab that camera and look at the film myself.

It's nice how this story can tell the life of a character so well in so little words.

I very much enjoyed this story.
Rosawyn chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
I love how the ending of this ties it all together.

My favourite parts of this were the beginning parts, up until she marries Ted, I guess because that is a part of her story I hadn't given much thought to and had never actually read any fic about. You do such a good job filling in that part of the story, and I almost want to go write my own fanfic of this fanfic to explore how Narcissa felt when she realized her sister would not be marrying Lucius after all. Because I imagine she would be thrilled and maybe even a little thankful to her sister...but it's not like she'd be able to tell her parents or her sister that. She would have to pretend to be disgusted and angry...well, I assume she probably would be disgusted anyway, but I can't see how she could be angry. Anyway...that's me going on and on, but I really was intrigued by that part of this fic. XD

Oh hey, it also fits with all of that stuff that Bellatrix is the one to sell them out, not Narcissa. :D Not that I'm a big fan of Narcissa or's just that she intrigues me, I guess, especially after reading this fic.
Madam'zelleG chapter 1 . 8/22/2012
I love the way that we get a glimpse of Ted through Andromeda's eyes at the very beginning. You did it very smoothly, not writing in her immediate POV but the omniscient narrator worked really well there.

I also loved the way that we get to see the other Black sisters through her eyes. It's typical of the character but you put your own spin on it that made it really excellent.

I was very impressed with this piece. Your tiny little bits all worked together to create something really wonderful. You should be very proud, darling! Well done!

Cheers, love!
26 | Page 1 2 Next »