|Reviews for The World without the War|
| Hi chapter 2 . 4/2
Boy-girl-boy-girl? What about Roku and Aang?
Nah, scratch that, this story is great :)
| Pause143 chapter 21 . 1/5
I really like this story. I really really like this story. It's one of those awesome what if fanfics and it has a hint of dark gritty reality that I'm really fond of. Unfortanatley, and I feel kinda bad pointing it out, but I'm pretty sure that Zhos name is actually Zhao.
| a-d Pilot chapter 8 . 12/23/2016
Sorry, but I felt the Sokka and Azula kiss event wasn't foreshadowed enough. ...Though I'm not sure how much more was needed...
Guess it partly depends on how much their relationship appears in the story. If it's going to be prominent I'd suggest checking out the Extra Credits Youtube video, Shivering in Anticipation, or as I personally remember it, the Tension and Release Cycle for your future stories.
It focuses on horror, but I feel it explains it well enough to show how it applies to other genres.
| a-d Pilot chapter 7 . 12/23/2016
Kasha's target prioritization kind of reminds me of CounterMonkey's warnings about how when he's running a DnD game, if you're a wizard, don't dress like one. Because people will know what you are and focus fire to end you for the same reason we'd fear someone with a bazooka.
| a-d Pilot chapter 2 . 12/23/2016
"And the water tribe is a is twin pair of misogynistic morons who need to be taught a serious lesson by Somebody!"
Nice. Using humor to make someone usually portrayed as a warmonger more likable. Especially as their points sound plausible.
Do you listen to the same writing advice website as me, have teachers who explained this, discovered it in study, or did you notice the trick yourself?
Whichever it was, nicely done.
| T.S. Polyphemus chapter 1 . 6/28/2015
Sozin, the genocidal psychopath, draws the line at misogyny.
| Whyhow chapter 24 . 4/26/2015
Pakku is spelled with two "k"s.
| Whyhow chapter 19 . 4/26/2015
I'm pretty sure that it's the Mechanist, not the Mechanic. I know that this is a lot of criticism, but I still think that this story is very good and would like to help make it even better.
| Whyhow chapter 17 . 4/26/2015
I'm a little worried that you're making airbenders too powerful and I'm not sure about Amy learning sandbending instantly, but this seems like a good section in general.
| Whyhow chapter 12 . 4/26/2015
I forgot to mention in my long, complicated, and probably overly critical review last chapter that the humorous sections are really well done, and that I rarely like a humorless story, it just seems kind of odd.
| Whyhow chapter 11 . 4/26/2015
I think that I worked out what makes the pacing feel so odd. It has all of the plot elements of a long, serious story, but it isn't, and I am still not sure whether I like that or not. It is also a lot more episodic than I expected it to be, but that is one of the main elements that makes it less serious: the majority of the problems are solved in no more than three chapters. For the romantic elements, that never interests me much, but again it is faster and more episodic than other similar stories. That makes it seem slightly forced, but I am grateful for the relative lack of angst.
| Whyhow chapter 10 . 4/26/2015
This is an interesting story, but the characters seem to be going too fast relative to the plot. The plot itself is a reasonable pace, but it feels like we're seeing no more than every other day, and even then only the ones that are necessary to make some point or another. I distrust some of the future arcs based on the foreshadowing so far, but "void bending" is much more innocuous than I would have guessed.
| Whyhow chapter 8 . 4/26/2015
I'm only half surprised about Katara, but I didn't think of the swamp at all.
| Whyhow chapter 5 . 4/26/2015
I like Bumi. I had to check to make sure that this wasn't another chibi chapter, since he seemed to be breaking the fourth wall (or the third, or maybe the fifth (what do you call it when a fanfic character knows that they're in a fanfic, but think that the show's the real world)), but I think that was just general insanity. The northern water tribe stuff doesn't interest me that much, but it was never my favorite part of the show either.
| Whyhow chapter 3 . 4/26/2015
I wonder where this is going, but with Bumi in Ba Sing Se, I suspect that he's not nearly as powerless as Kuei was. He could be pretending to be, though.