|Reviews for Undertow|
| Lily chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
Wow. Great fic! I love how you can put so much imto the story between them but only use one lime of dialogue. I also like how you uses flashbacks versus present day. All in all, very very good!
| zatl chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
Alarm bells are ringing in his head but his smile widens anyway, because goddammit, it's just so unbearably good to see her.
I loved that line so much. :) :) :)
I definitely enjoyed reading it.
| FavoriteSeptember chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
I actually loved this & smut really isn't my thing to read, but I decided I wanted to try it. This one is the first I've read & it's amazing. It was very interesting & I loved how you put things together.
I wasn't really sure what the italics meant, but I'm assuming that they have to do w/ something they once did? I'm guessing here, haha! Still, I love the mystery to it all. :D
You did an awesome job & I really wish I could write this good. (:
| LittleSammy chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
Love the flow of this, very in-the-moment, draws you in. Thank you for sharing.
| Silvergrass chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
aw nice yeah.
| babytakeyourmeds chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
Somehow this was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
| TVchick08 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
this was so very them. and so very beautiful. i loved it!
| Nicoya456 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
| Ink On Paper chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
So incredibly beautiful . . . .
A fierce round of applause and standing ovation for you!
| Angela Beckett chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
It's intense, deep, yet favorite line "He holds her so tight his arms ache, but even though he's crushed her to his chest she isn't nearly close enough". A very good story, I like it a lot. Thank you.
| abrad45 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Somewhere in this mix of fantasy and fantasy you made the characters... not necessarily _believable_ but at least plausible. I'm not sure that this scene could ever happen, or if it would if it could, but as we've discussed so many times, that's the whole point of this site, so I won't review you on it.
What I will review you on is that you depict both characters very accuratively, perhaps Tony moreso than Ziva. Tony comes off as eager to help, nervous to screw-up and cautious of the "crazy ninja chick" which is how he is in all facets of his life that we've been made aware of. He's also one to take risks with everyone: Rule 18 works all the time on Gibbs, he constantly pushes McGee to the limit, and the same with Vance, but never Ziva. There is no testing the waters with her. There is no trying anything out and seeing if it worked. I think he fears injury or death, to be honest.
Which leads me to Ziva. I feel like it's very unlike her to go out of her way to seek someone or something out, especially without informing them. Her presence at all seems unlikely, though this is a special circumstance (Tony's return). I feel like the reason their desires for each other never show in any of the televised episodes is because both of them are too hesitant to act on anything, leading me to believe that Ziva initiating as much of the contact and everything else that she has would be... out of character.
Overall, this was less "smutty" as you called it on tumblr than I was expecting. If I could make two suggestions...
1) You used a lot of a particular writing mechanic that I neither care for nor know the name of: "and fuck he doesn't care", "and god, it's bordering on cute", and I feel like there were more. I understand your intent was to express Tony's feelings about the situation, but it came off as grating as often as it was shown, if not cheap, as though you could have done something else.
2) One-offs like this push real works of art (like No Such Thing) off to the second page even faster ;)
Overall, as with the rest of your work, this was enjoyable to read. It's nice to know that even when your shipper heart is working overtime, you don't make me want to vomit :)
| Seosh chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Wow I really liked it!
| squintyeyes88 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Overall it's a good story.
However, I was left wondering whether the italics were a fantasy or reality. I did like it though. Good job.
| Kew121 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Interesting style. I particularly like how the part not in italics could lead any number of places, leaving it up to the reader whether the italics are continuation of the story, fantasy, or other.
| Betherzz chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
interesting take on things... assume the italics are a fantasy or a dream or maybe even a memory (but the way hes thinking in the now i am not certain that a memory is even possible) and the regular type is whats happening now... and kinda wondering why shes there in the first place and if something is wrong but he never asks and the writer never tells... its a good one, just kinda wish things were a little more clear
thanks for the good read