|Reviews for Hunting|
| jugubi chapter 1 . 7/19/2015
I HATE TWILIGHT ITS JUST SO BAD AND TERRIBLE . A love story between a girl and a vampire and a werewolf? Stupid twilght why is their still a fanfic website about it? Go away twilight
| xoxxKit-Katxxox chapter 1 . 7/25/2013
I like this one better than your other one. That whole thing about "a pack, a family. Brothers." was a good touch. However, I don't like that you made Sam seem like a blood thirsty killer there at the end. I think he kills them because he prefers them to his family, not because once he sees red eyes he doesn't care. Didn't really inspire the adrenaline of a hunt, but I felt more emotion from this one than from your other one. It's not bad. :)
| Luna Goddess of the Night chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
A tiny bit of concrit. May I?
When talking about multiple wolves, the singular quotation isn't needed. It's just the plural, "wolves."
Also, some sentences are a bit choppy. You can instead put some of the sentences together, such as this:
"The only way to describe it, the thrill of knowing exactly how to run, how to spring, how to bite..."
Other than that, this was pretty good. Just replace a few dashes with commas, when talking about her life being in danger as well. But I liked seeing how the wolves were portrayed. I'll keep an eye on more from you, with more concrit in the future.
-Luna, Constructive Criticism Guild
| Fuyutaro son chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
You know, after all the abusive, cruel, and sometimes senseless reviews I've seen you leave for people, I was expecting the fic to be bad, but it was surprisingly good.
I liked the descriptions of the snouts, but I think i don't quite get the last part with Sam. when he saw her red eyes, i don't think he would have thought 'it doesn't matter, she's a blood sucker either way', he would have had his question, or rather his thought, answered. Red eyes means she drinks human blood, so he would have known.
Now, apart from that, the rest of the story is really good. you should write more.
| peonywrites chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
This is a one-shot? I don't read Twilight so this got me kind of lost. It was quite short and well there wasn't much presented. I could only imagine one scene and that's it; which doesn't really make up much of a story. Hm.
I can't really say much since as I've said there isn't much in the story to begin with. Too little words to say if your story is flawlessly perfect in grammar and spelling (but yeah, I guess it is.) There wasn't much intensity either; a couple more descriptions could've helped. But that's just my opinion. I guess it's because I read your story after trying (and somewhat failing) to write an intense chapter. Hehe.
People in the internet are quite weird no? You give them something that goes against their thinking and they start shouting and cursing you with words that they think would hurt you. Though, I guess it would hurt me a whole lot if someone ever wrote that my story was a 'fucking piece of trash' just because I gave them a mean review. That just sucks.
Anyway, I look forward to reading one of your stories that are under my fandom of reading (I like anime so...yeah.)
| Moralistic Demon chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
Lol, don't you just love it when people you've reviewed come back to "give you a taste of your own medicine?" It's so much fun to read, especially when they give "critiques" that are completely invalid. It shows how high the average IQ is on this site, doesn't it?
Anyway, I loved your one-shot. It wasn't "forced" and most certainly did not "lack emotion." You're a brilliant wrier with a clean-cut writing style, showing much emotion in simple words and phrases. No errors in grammar or spelling were detected, and the overall plot left me speechless with wonder. I loved it, and that's not something I say too often. Kudos to you!
P.S. I love your name. People should also notice that loophole in your name, making it NOT against the rules. Do people not know what the difference between "1" and "i" are? Really, people have nothing better to come up with sometimes than to insult a person's screen name. It just proves that they have truly nothing to say. :)
| Avagdu chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Okay, I have nothing against you like I imagine the rest of these bored reviewers do, but I have something to say here...
First, you lack any sort of emotional depth whatsoever. You think you relate to a character that is a wolf by giving them some feeling, but you don't. It's awful. Wolves don't smile to themselves. And they definitely don't "scent". I mean, maybe they SMELL. But they're definitely not prancing around saying "would you like some Bath and Body works today?" *spritz*. Learn the concept of scenting versus smelling before you post anything ever again.
Additionally, this plot was just boring you had maybe half of a character involved, who barely had any purpose. You might as well have just written "The wolves killed the vampire girl" and saved us all the 325 words of boredom...seriously.
Also, who starts a story huff-huff-huff and tap-tap-tap-tap-tap? Like, what is that? That should have been the first sign to stop and I'm sure for many, it was. Consider that next time before you post anything. It will save the world many brain cells that are lost attempting to read your story.
Have a lovely rest of your life,
| Crewbie552 chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
I'm not too into Twilight, but I thought I'd leave you a review because you seem to appreciate them.
Tell me if I'm wrong, but this seems a bit forced and rough. Maybe it was more of story outline?
There are some punctuation errors, and it lacks description. Where's the strong imagery?
I enjoyed "half-recognizable snorts," because it made the laughter seem a bit cunning, cocky, and sly, which captures the wolves energy well. I wish there was some more consistency.
For some critique, work on showing more than telling. For example, don't flat out tell the reader the vampire is a female, instead describe her lengthy hair, her pursed, scarlet lip.(etc.)
Also, find a good hook to get your reader interested.
I hope this was helpful!
| norma chapter 1 . 1/26/2011
this is a fucking piece of shit. and you know what, you are a complete bitch. i hope you go to hell... and take your fucking attitude with you.
| LOLWUT chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Your face is against the rules. It has been reported.
Have a nice day!
| Neverendingtwilight chapter 1 . 1/8/2011
So I read the first line and i couldn't continue. Huff Huff or something. WTF? Worst story ever. Thanks for the review you left me though. It seems like it's a bit of a habit of yours to leave cruddy reviews for people. Nice. Get a beta yourself...
| SomebodysBliss7 chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Perhaps if this were longer and contained any emotion at all, and didn't just give off the vibe of being written -types is a more appropiate word,seeing as how you didn't even take the time to "write" it out- this may have actually been a worthwhile story to read!
I'm only taking guess, but I don't think that this is even reached 1,000 words.
Next time, take the time to actually "write" out a story; even an O/S (one-shot).
And your name needs to be changed, too.
| d1ck chapter 1 . 12/22/2010
what a load of shit
| Simply Ginger chapter 1 . 12/10/2010
One of the best written Twilight stories I've seen. Most of the ones I read are "Edward LUVs her becauz she is so kewl!" and it makes me vomit. Well written. Too bad the rest of the FF world can't be as well written as you.
| veryfinechardonnay chapter 1 . 11/3/2010
Your one-shot could have been a lot better if:
1) It wasn't double spaced all the way through.
2) You added more feeling
3) No onomatopoeias and
4) If you didn't give "harsh/constructive criticism" to all those girls you insulted.