Pretty dang good! Um, is this Charlie the dead Charlie? Some of the pronouns don't match and it gets really confusing at the end. So I don't give any kudos to Theia. But the story is amazing. I can't beleive I didn't think of it. It's so... touching. Love it, and...

DFTBA!

Rachel/ Beckendorf? Odd, seeing as they have never met each other. But you do make it work. So you get a virtual brownie.

Ooh, I like this. I don't think I have ever read this pairing before. You make it seem interesting.

I only noticed one typo, but then, I'm really picky about that kind of stuff.

[And then his arms were around his again, but this time to comfort her.]

The second 'his' should read 'her' should it not?

But like I said, I like this and it was really well written as well. Great job.

*Aanaleigh

I liked this, Luna.

The pairing's original-I don't think I've seen it before-and you wrote it quite well. I'd like to see you elaborate more on the Rachel/Charlie thing, too, because the pairing's growing on me now that you've written it. ] Great job.

~Kal

Ooh. Luna! I am very, very glad that I read this. I love the pairing and I think I might write for it but enough about that.

You have brilliant spelling and grammar, first off, and your characterizations were good. Seriously, you made me want to huggle the death out of Charlie.

This is definitely going on my favorites. Very, very good. Fantastic. Brilliant. Amazing. Awesome. *nods* I don't believe I can give much more praise, lol. I've run out of adjectives. *huggles*

-Des

e.O

Babe.

You're lucky I always check up for things you can edit when I was the writer's beta.

["Maybe I don't want to come out the same," his voice poured like chocolate into her mind, sweet and tempting and beautiful . . . but at the same time dangerous.]

The periods are bolded. They shouldn't be.

["Now, it won't. It will never be when I'm me and you're you," She said meekly.]

She shouldn't be capitalized.

["Rachel, girl, just let loose. Just be yourself, cut your standards. You'll be happier,"]

The comma at the end should be a period.

[—she wasn't his to hold\]

The slash is bolded, and you can just copy/pasta the first one so it doesn't fuck up again. :)

[Don't forget yesterdays tomorrow."]

The period is bolded.

Other than that, it seems okay. Edit those things I pointed out.

Tanks much.

*Theia 47