|Reviews for Just Beneath the Surface|
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 13 . 12/31/2011
What a great sister. Your little brother comes to you scared out of his mind and guilty and pleads for your help...and you throw him to the proverbial wolves. I'm kinda disgusted with how easily vitani was ready to abandon her brother to exile and a life of shame. More so disgusted that he had to rationalize the situation to her and explain how not making everyone hate him would be for the good of the pride. Anyways, it seems like this could work. Kovus going to be able to take his cubs on that hunting trip after all, he need not unnecessarily ostracize himself for a crime he didn't commit. Great writing as always.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 12 . 12/31/2011
"This mistake will not be my downfall..." Oh man he might have had a chance if only hehadnt thought those words. Guilt and lies are pretty much changing kovu for the worse now, but at the hard of it he just fears losing his pride and family. That's a completly resonable fear,and I don't hold his actions against him because of that. Again with the hunting trip, tanga you almost killed your brother on a Damn hunting trip and now you want to go on another. *sigh* great chapter as always, but tanga seriously annoys me. I'd safely say she's my least favorite character in the fic. Still, great chapter as always.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 11 . 12/31/2011
Ohhh Kay. Through circumstances mostly out of his control, Zira has murdered simba and kovu appears to be an accessory to that murder, even though he wasn't. Now, in an attempt to guard his innocence, which absolutely no one else would believe him if he told the truth, he is going to hide the truth literally and just move on with his life. Exceeeept fate is going to beat him with a bat for literally the rest of the fic just because he was scared of being rejected by simba. I'm championing for kovu here because everyone else apparently wants him dead for some reason. The one fear that kovu has that is made clear to the reader is he fears being labeled a traitor and a murderer. And now, as he tryed so avoid his fear, it constantly comes back and bites him.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 10 . 12/31/2011
Acursed simba! Even in death he somehow still manages to screw things up. There are two main things that bug me about this chapter. One:simba is a fully grown, well fed, male lion twice the size of Zira. How in the hell did a puny, starving female lion manage to kill him? Two, simba knew kovu was already afraid of being labeled a traitor, so why in the hell did he freak him out by trying to send zazu to do just that. Otherwise, great chapter. It was mentioned somewhere that kovu had murdered Zira in this chapter but...its within the kings power to execute others. Zira committed regicide against simba, and kovu was the acting king at the time, so it was within his jurisdiction to kill Zira for her crimes. I like how this chapter was purposely left kinda blank, a lot of the details were left to the reader to fill, but a basic idea of what happened is still maintained. Seriously, the entire story now comes with how this chapter is twisted and interpreted by everyone else. I do however want to say, since the truth hasn't come out to the other characters yet in the story, that if you change the events of this chapter or add new stuff in outta the blue a happy reader I will not be. I think its important that has the narrator you don't shift what you say and deceive the readers, its the characters in the storys job to do that, not the author. Adding stuff in as an explantion later would feel like reading a mystery novel where the soultion lies in stuff the narrator forgot to mention until the end, the reader just feels cheated. I'm saying this all in anticipation of you retconning stuff happening here in the finale, but I could just be Asumaing too much. Great chapter, as always.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 9 . 12/31/2011
Hooray contrivances! So now Asuma is totally screwed. I still think he was being wise in not hunting alone. Fun fact: the most dangerous and lethal large mammal in Africa is the wildebeast, followed by the hippo. Just sayin. Still not much to say about the cubs end.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 8 . 12/31/2011
Simba always seemed a bit ridiculous with how he takes the sight of Zira. He smacks kovu just for roaring, and then attacks him again as kovu submits and tries to be reasonable. The not wise thing coming more into play here. Poor kovu just wants to be trusted again, although admiteddly he is working against himself at this point. The secrecy made this all the more volatile, much larger oppurtunity to go wrong then was necessary.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 7 . 12/31/2011
Although cowardice seems to be what asumas caution is meant to convey, I interpret it as actual honest to god wisdom. I see you retconned three days in between kovu saying no to tanga, and that makes her disappointment with him a little more understandable I suppose. Yeah not much else to talk about in this chapter, it pretty much just sets up a situation for the next.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 6 . 12/31/2011
Okay seriously? IT'S BEEN ONE DAY SINCE KOVU SAID NO. I think you should add a time between to show kovu actually neglecting the cubs if you're going to have the characters think he is. Also, I'm pretty sure even if kovu didn't get dealt the worst hand of cards ever by fate he would still be really busy with being the king and all. Anyways, tanga just seems super whiny to me now complaining about not spending time with kovu after he tells her no for ONE DAY. She already sleeps on kovus head, does she have abandonment issues or something? O wait...(thinks to the future of the fic) that actually might make sense given how she reacted to some stuff. Hmmm. I must ponder her more now... Oh yes great chapter as always. Hmmmmmm. *pensive thought*
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 5 . 12/31/2011
Yes simba, rafiki SPECIFICALLY told you to treat kovu like a son and the first thing you do is... Tell him you don't trust him anymore and shatter his confidence. Way to go O' wise king of the pridelands. END SARCASM. Of course, kovu isn't exempt from my rantings either, he told simba to trust him...and then immediately lied about having seen a rogue, or told a half truth about it. Technically though, kovu lied because simba was already untrusting of him, so you could technically trace that back to simba as well. Honestly I like simba, I really do, but the dude makes some pretty shoddy descions as king, or maybe just in general. The first two movies are sorta the result of simba blundering around ( for the most part, tragic death of mufasa not included) and in this fic its no different. Also, I have something to say about the darkness is still within him speech rafiki gave simba. Personally, I find that to be nonsense because of a very important fact that I can very conviently summarize in a in a single concise sentence. "The light shines brightest in the dark." That's a major theme of a story I'm working on but it applies here just as well. Basically, what is better; to be born good, or to overcome your darker nature with great difficulty? Yes, kovu might have darkness within him, but with that darkness he has the potential to shine brighter than anyone else in the fic. Anyways, just some of ky opinion on rafikis wisdom and how the situation is developing in general. Great chapter, as always. I wonder if I can abreviate that to Gcaa?
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 4 . 12/31/2011
Short chapter, but still good. I was actually somewhat surprised to learn Asuma and tanga were actually half as big as kovu and kiara this early in the story. I had thought they were cubs at this point, like simba and nala were in the first half of the lion kinug. I noticed one of the giant recurring themes with the cubs was wanting to go on a hunting trip and never going. That always irked me a little as something really petty to judge an entire upbringing by, but it isn't that prevalent yet. I think this chapter is meant to demonstrabl that kovu is beginning to change, and to that end it suceedes very nicely.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 3 . 12/31/2011
I love the metaphor of the scar, and all it symbolized. I don't think its mentioned past this chapter how it gets worse or better, although that would be a pretty neat gauge of kovus character development. I do remember he gets more scarred later in the story though, so I might be wrong on that front. Most writers sorta lose their focus as the story goes on, but you've kept it razor Sharp on kovu for the first act where he is in the pridelands. Kovu STILL hasn't done anything wrong, if anything he showed admirable qualities of mercy to his mother, although she diminished them somewhat by prying into his mind. While its true there may be some subconcoious reason for kovu returning to the cliff, I highly doubt it was because of feelings of guilt for being a traitor, but desire for closure like he said. Anyways, great development on kovu here, and as always great writing.
| Mrs Charlie Weasley-thats me chapter 30 . 12/30/2011
Oh wow. I honestly don't know what else I can say about this story, it is simply fantastic. I found it from a link on Deviant art, and about two chapters in I realized it was incomplete... Normally, that would be enough for me to stop reading, because I hate waiting for the end of stories, plus I've had too many authors on fanfiction not finish stories I've been reading. (Sadly I was one of them, but I'm working on finishing that story now)
But anyways, by the second chapter of your story I was already so intrigued I couldn't help but keep reading 'just until I see what kovu does about the truth'... yea well, it's safe to say I am now completely hooked on your story.
Your writing has really improved immensely since your earlier chapters as well. You can see the transition of the characters as you go, and how they're growing with your writing skills. Very good job! I love the relationship you've formed for the children... I feel like they're real characters from Disney himself. I also have a soft spot for Natin. lol
I know you just updated this week, but please keep it up! How many more chapters do you think there will be? Keep up the good work!
| AshWolf Forever chapter 30 . 12/28/2011
Way to go Shembre! I really do love this story. Great job.
| Fewtch chapter 30 . 12/28/2011
Omg yes! You updated! :D
I'm really looking forward to the drama in the next few chapters!
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 30 . 12/28/2011
Good to see Chaka got some development under his belt. I knew he was just protecting his pride before, but having him specifically state that certainly demonizes his character a little less. Going back to that miscommunicatioj theme, kiara has failed to tell him why she thinks he is doing the wrong thing, and how he could improve himself. Atleast now ww know he isn't quite as stubborn as he seems. I'm a giant sucker for inter family relationships, so I'm dreading kovus inevitable betrayal at the hands of his son. Somehow I don't think the circle of life is going to have much life in it in the comeing chapters. Kiara actually got up and did something, which is a wonderful change from the years of forgetting she existed. I suppose you could point to kovus absence as a reason for that. So many factons in this fic now, and so many motivations driving them. It all centers on kovu, every one, and I think the whole house of cards would collapse when he makes his move. Ps. Totally forgot about the promise to reveiw every chapter, but I will get it done! Eventually...at some point.