|Reviews for Just Beneath the Surface|
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 40 . 6/18/2013
Okay, this chapter itself was written without any heart-racing action but it still excited me. Everything lined up perfectly but now they just have to deal with getting Asuma out of his ordeal safely. And I don't blame Chaka for not believing the story, of course, anyone sane wouldn't really believe it. But you would have to consider this, if Kovu had been lying, wouldn't he have said something that made sense instead of crazy? It's funny yet this is very tempting indeed. Also, I'm leaning towards B as well if Kovu's going to be accepted by the pride again.
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 40 . 6/18/2013
Well, this makes for a very nice change. Chaka and Kovu are actually listening now instead of just going around doing stupid stuff out of anger. I'm hoping your next update comes soon :)
And as for the next part, I'm going with option B. If you're intending for Chaka and Kovu to reconcile at least to an extent, the process will flow more naturally if you give them something to do on the same side before everything comes together for the conclusion.
| saintgat1999 chapter 23 . 6/9/2013
Am I the only one who feels sorry for Kovu? They should have at least let him explain! He didn't kill Simba,AND he avenged his death...If he would have told the truth immediately this entire situation could have been avoided.
| mizu scarlet chapter 11 . 5/30/2013
kovu u dick you left simba behind to rot
| mizu scarlet chapter 10 . 5/30/2013
you bitch zira you killed simba.
walks up to shembre
and you let her
| mizu scarlet chapter 2 . 5/30/2013
uh oh . how much of that did you heat tanga
| mizu scarlet chapter 1 . 5/30/2013
wow. just wow .i love your story and your art
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 39 . 5/28/2013
Sorry for the late reveiw! I was attacked by finals. Barely lived.
The Chaka chapter was very abrupt, and not in the sense that it was short. I suppose jarring would be a better way to put it. Everytime he made a rash decision he'd chastise himself for it. Which is fine, but it got rather noticeably repetitive when he did it more than three times in the span of a few paragraphs. A good way to put it is like he's walking nose first into a wall, shaking his head, and walking straight into it again. I get the challenges that this particular chapter had to establish though, he had to go from murder kovu on sight mode into reluctant trust really rapidly, and there probably isn't a way to write that without it feeling abrupt. And for a look inside chakas head during a stressful situation, this was really indicative of how instinct bloodlusty he can get. Still, I felt like the changes his character were going through just felt...obvious. Obvious enough to be apparent to the reader, but not to him. It could do with a tiny bit slowing down, or Atleast smoothing out.
Timon and Pumba make an appearance! And a tired, depressed lion cub of royalty has found a way into their oasis.
Ah, I kid. Still I don't know if I mentioned but almost every character could make do with a little Hakuna matata in this story, though I don't think the song and montage would very much fit the tone of the story. Still, now that kiara has met up with tanga things can finally start to tie together an- oh you're just running of- really? Not even a wor- well okay then.
I seriously doubt a mother separated from her cub for weeks, not knowing if she was alive or not, would much care about the child's feelings before making sure they were okay. Let alone turn tail and run. Still kiara is apparently super in tune with the emotions of those around her, except that one time she trampled over kovu, so she can have a pass for being able to understand super condensed emotions with a look in the eyes.
Finally onto, Asuma. The desperation and dehydration is really apparent, and its easy to get the feeling that hes literally festering in that tree, and starting to go delusional. Staring at that river is probably torture, and he sure as hell shows it.
Really though, my favorite part was his memory of kovu. I don't think I've made it a secret that their father son relationship is what I find most fascinating about the story, and that a scene so natural as a father protecting his son could somehow feel so strange yet so correct is really quite something. Kovu displaying open love for Asuma is just brilliant, especially as it comes to Asuma now to contrast his current feelings. Now what's next? A memory of when Asuma displayed love for Kovu? Examining a less story based element i was particulalrly impressed with the description of the scorpion. You really just built the image perfectly from the aether of vagueness that a child would examine something.
Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter! Which is hopefully soon.
I've been listening to a song recently and it kinda absolutely perfectly describes Kovu with every lyric, almost scarily. I'm reminded of Just beneath the surface every time I hear it. Id like to share It with you if thats cool, you've probably hEard it, its a bit popular.
| Emerald dreamer96 chapter 14 . 5/10/2013
Just started reading this story, it's addictive so sad, Kovu really messed up but it was understandable until he made a conscious decision to cover it up he's pretty good at rationalising it.
You really are great at portraying them in character.
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 39 . 5/8/2013
I've forgotten how great this story was! How you apply the title of your story to just about every character instead of one or two like most writers. And it just seems so hard to imagine that things can resolve themselves in just a couple more chapters. Man, I feel like I haven't heard from you in a while.
| tmh1022 chapter 39 . 5/6/2013
whoa...i just got addicted to this story 2 nights ago...finally caught up...you're very talented...i haven't felt this close to crying from sadness in nearly 1.5 yrs...specifically the part when Asuma told Tanga he refused to call Kovu "father"...i forget what chapter that was...anyways keep up the good work...
I will admit though, I couldn't take Chap 34 seriously...and there was one racist comment in it. but i really doubt I have any right to critique.
Lol, funny part is I've been working on a lion king fanfic of my own...almost published it until I started to read yours. I think mine is too similar, so now there's no point in me having an account...*facepalm*
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 39 . 5/6/2013
Well, what little faith I started to find with Chaka just disappeared. He could've killed Natin, and then how would have have explained that to the pride? He also tried to rile Kovu but only ended up making himself look immature, which I imagine does not sit well with him. At least word's getting through that Asuma's in danger, hope they find him soon.
You know, I've really admired Kiara's strong character throughout this entire story, but the way she ran away from Tanga like that was a bit cowardly. I'm pretty sure she loves Tanga enough to face everything that's gone wrong, so what made her falter I don't know. Then again, she's really been through a lot in this entire story, and I guess maybe she's really nearing her breaking point. What she needs now is to sort everything out with Tanga, and then do the same with Kovu once she returns to the Pridelands.
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 38 . 4/11/2013
Kovu said some things that made me really happy this chapter woo! They'll probably come back to bite him ( maybe even literally) but that doesn't make it a bad decision at all. Asuma got another chapter of stall out of the lionesses, awesome, and managed another about to die cliffhanger. Not that I mind , he's still alive!
The section where tojo and Chaka actually talk about the possible motives for kovu suddenly turning insane, simbas paranoia, and chakas violent upbringing were a pleasure to read. Particularly the section where tojo manipulates Chaka into going to bed. Really super duper subtle, and a joy to read. Truly.
Making kiara and natin pass by kiara so closely is cruel of you, but a nice way to knit together their plotlines and maybe even foreshadow just how close everyone is coming together.
My apology for the short reveiw. Story reviewing is taking a big backseat to test reviewing right now, still I found the time to reread the chapter and mull on my thoughts to give ya. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Yo3000 chapter 38 . 3/29/2013
Please continue this! it's an awesome story!
| jtgil chapter 38 . 3/25/2013
Hey I'm new here... But I've already read some stories including this one up to this chapter and I have to say that this is very well written and very interesting!, However this chapter leaves you uneasy to what will happen next! Keep up! And do take your time!