|Reviews for Step Right Up|
| mrowemoon chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
Hi my friend,
Your little shy Bella is growing up by leaps and bounds, literally. The idea to have her join the magic act and do the trapeze illusion is brillant. that is a great way to get her out of that shell and develop some confidence. Her forwardness with Edward is more believable with these personal strides you have her taking that is boosting her self-esteem.
And thank god that you saved her from James. That would have put her back into her little shell.
So now, I have an extreme desire to eat a candied apple. That Magic is naughty, naughty.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a fun,safe trip to Japan. Will miss talking with you. Look forward to the date chapter in the New Year.
| sujari6 chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
Great chapter. Have a good holiday and I look forward to your next update.
| ElvaFae chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
another wonderfull chapter!
i want to read about Edward's reaction when he realises Winny is a camel!
have a great time on your vacation(you lucky you!) and Merry christmas!
| StoryPainter chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
These two just keep getting cuter and more endearing. Poor Bella having to preform but, at least, she doesn't have to work with James or dress in a catsuit. That would just make Edward miserable and would likely have led to him getting fired or something equally as horrifying. I can't wait to see how it all works out and Bella on stage finally earning the spotlight she doesn't think she fits in/deserves.
Have a great trip!
| MarisaWrites chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
reading all the chaps with Edward's obsession for all things Gummi has gotten the Gummi Bears theme song stuck in my head. I know, it dates me horribly...
| HareOutOfPlace chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
i really do love this story :D its so entertaining
| reesessweetie chapter 10 . 12/22/2010
wow...they teach you all that for only $60 bucks? i would totally go! but i know already that i won't be able to do the stunt where you crawl up the little curtain, drapery cloth thing because i completely lack any type of upper body strength. dead serious. i can't even do one pull up. i'm that pathetic
i like that bella is sharing some of edward's love for the trapeze. how exciting to experience that with edward! i was really worried about her working with james and his animals, which seem to have been treated cruelly by him.. i was so scared that they would take out their hatred of james on her and hurt her. good thing carlisle and esme learned of it in time so that they could derail james' plans
| cunningmonkey chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
I'm loving this! I have such a weakness for circus stories - I'm so glad to see one pop up in the Twi fandom. Looking forward to more!
| angmclure chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
Girl you had me hot and bother one minute then rolling on the floor the next. I luv it. I loved how Bella stood up to James and then throwing things at him, that was great. If only someone had seen it. Then the appearance of Magic was so hot. I must say I wanted to hold and cuddle him when it was done and he was feeling so bad about scaring her and not taking care of her. I have a feeling Bell is going to surprise him and herself when he finally gets that chance. I think he might just be getting attached a lot. Oh, wait that's what I want to do, but you never know she could have an inner sex kitten that's just waiting to come out and play. Then Winny being all upset with her was so funny. And then Edward being jealous of Winny, oh I can't wait till he finds out who or should Isay what Winny is. That will be priceless. I luv how you have him going back and forth between Magic and Gummi Edward. And Alice was great this chaper giving him the much needed pep talk. I'm also glad Leah stood up for Bella and din't rat her I really enjoyed this update and the last one thatI know I missed reviewing on. Oh and I voted ;) Luv you.
| Harmony Nights chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
Your story is very interesting, but I thought that a story like yours is a bit like a diamond in the rough. That said, it needs some work. If your not interested, I understand, and don't read on below.
First off, I think you should pay alot more attention to Bella's self esteem. She saw her boyfriend with another girl and knows that there has been many past endeavors. Does she really think that she is so special? Plus she does not have experience. You have made scenes revolving around this, I know, but they were one-dimension and lacked a sense of humanity. Put yourself in her shoes, because there needs to be more reactions and down to earth reflection, unless you believe she is that confident in herself.
Second, these moments she has with Winston are important! They could potentially show the reader her train of thought and exactly what she's feeling. Use the time she spends with him well, because many writers don't have the opportunity to have their character think while speaking.
Personally, I think the main problem you have is that while writing your story, your character's lose their history. For example, you may have mentioned in the story that Bella is clumsy, but later on while she is running towards, say, Winston, there is no mentioning of that fact. Keep in mind exactly what you wrote, or maybe even make a list of their traits/habits to keep you in check. May sound dumb, but it could add some layers to your story that would boost it up.
As I said, I do enjoy your story. But I suggest taking the critic because as harsh as I may be, it can only help you in the end. Good luck
| mrowemoon chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
That last sentence was too funny, "jealous tendencies towards a camel". I can't wait until Edward finds out that Winston is a camel. Jake leading Edward down this path is a really cute running gag.
I like that Bella is becoming more assertive each chapter and less mousey. Standing up to James was really good. And the hot makeout session was fantastic. Like that she just went with it.
So two obstacles. The bitch, Tanya, and Renee. Will be interesting to see how this comes about?
So, I am guessing this will be a slow burn between E & B. I am hoping that when they finally have sex though that it is in an appropriate place for her first time. Storage closet is hot but not romantic.
Love the update.
| ElvaFae chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
this is going wonerfull! edward character is evolving chapter by chapter, bella is so innocent and yet she trusts her feelings.
i wonder how this whole deal with james and his new act is going to interfere with eb 's relationship. or will renee's reluctance decrease when she notices edward's protectiveness...?
as always, marvelous writing, nice technique with the changing povs!
| Curlyvampirejo chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
Loved it! Winny what a gas-bag ;) How hot is Edward - I'll go into that truck with him anyday! update soon x
| sweetangel4 chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
I just saw this story last night. I have to say...WOW! I'm really impressed and glad I gave it a shot. I honestly believe you deserve more reviews than what you have already. Even though you only have 2 stories, I have favorited you as an author as well because I did like your other story 'Driving Miss Bella' (I think was the title). You have some unique ideas (at least I haven't seen the circus theme attempted and if it was attempted then I obviously didn't like it). I like how some characters are still somewhat portrayed the same but some have a few difference that are actually believable and not something from out-in-left-field (i.e. Tanya, Leah, Renee). Anyways keep up the good work and I can't wait for next chapter. Please get it out soon. :)
| StoryPainter chapter 9 . 11/28/2010
Love it, love it, love it! The last line is epic! You rock, bb :-) This has quickly become one of my favorites of all time. The scenes with Winston had me laughing out loud, giving my in-laws one more reason to think I'm crazy.
You even helped me forget about my broken toe for a little while. Thanks :-) The progression of Edward's character is so intriguing and I love that they are actually communicating! I've always had this romanticized idea of circus life and I am so enjoying getting this little inside peek into the world of traveling performers. How do you know so much? Just curious. Not that I would have a clue if you were just making all this up and really had no idea what it was really like :)
My two year old is standing in the living room with one of his new hockey gloves on (they're the smallest size and still too big so he only wears one so he can still hold his stick)and telling me all about how much he loves playing hockey on the "ice" (aka the rug in our living room with a small net that I think is actually part of a soccer set). Just had to share his adorableness. He's also making my hubs wear an NHL hat and throw it onto the "ice" every time he scores. I'm laughing hysterically. Kids are so amazing.