Reviews for Behind the Smile
FoxOnPie chapter 1 . 7/31/2014
...Wow.
Ado Edem chapter 1 . 2/21/2014
You handled this rather well, Hayate is someone who locks her problems in and hides behind a mask. Something many people who are traumatized in some way do. Its somewhat short but captures a bittersweet feeling rather well.
YFIQ chapter 1 . 2/5/2014
It probably would have been a good explanation for her perverted behavior.
jgkitarel chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
It was good. Not something that covered matters I find enjoyable, but it was certainly well written.

I wonder if Hayate ever found out what happened to that couple and whether she took a rather vicious satisfaction if their end was... unfortunate. I would not blame her, nor do I think her friends would.
Theralion chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
However, I see some of what might be called "Unfortunate Implications in the suggestion that Hayate's groping her female friends' breasts is a sign of trying to be
-First, she has been doing it since she was 9, in the first Sound Stage of A's, before she would feel as though she would have to keep up appearances. (If you want a fairly dark interpretation of it, it could be that she wants to know what they feel like and believes her disease will kill her before she gets a pair of her own.
-Secondly, it's somewhat reminiscent of the idea that homosexuals became that way because they were the victims of sexual abuse as children while being born heterosexual. I believe it is most likely that you did not intend it to come off this way, but many cases of "Unfortunate *Implications*" are subtle and often unintentional.
-Lastly, I also wonder why, if something this terrible happened to Hayate in the past, we see no sign of it in the main series. I also wonder how necessary the sexual abuse is, especially considering that in A's, we see hints that Hayate is far more lonely than she lets on (especially to the point at which she suggests in Episode 9's opening narration and Sound Stage 2 that she's was not scared about dying because of how empty her life was), which is enough of a basis to write compellingly about her painful past.

Another flaw is Yuuno/Hayate. Pairings without a great deal of canon interaction have to go the extra mile to come off as believable as ones in which the characters interact quite a bit (e.g. Nanoha/Fate and Nanoha/Yuuno), much less confirmed pairings. While there is some basis for how Yuuno and Hayate would get together (although you could have brought up their collaborating to make Hayate's Unison device), and it explores some of what Hayate sees in him, his attraction to her is largely left out. As such, the romance is one of the weaker parts and feels like an afterthought.

On the other hand, I liked that you explored how Hayate would react to Graham confessing his plans to her, as he had promised to do at the end of A's, and find her response to be in-character (on a minor note, I think Hayate always knew his name but not his position as an admiral, but didn't mention it so that the viewers wouldn't find out prematurely). Her characterization as a person who often smiles, even when she isn't happy is fitting. Touching on her struggles as a former criminal in the Bureau was quite good, although it could have been expanded on more (both in this fic and in the series).

I hope this review didn't come off as too harsh; I tend to go into more depth about a work's shortcomings than its strengths in my reviews. I think this story is a good idea in general and you have talent as a writer. With more emphasis on Hayate's loneliness and struggles in the Bureau, and the removal of the unnecessary elements (the sexual abuse, the Yuuno/Hayate pairing), it could be an excellent story.
GeshronTyler chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
Arrght, the darkness, the Angst! Noooo, not dear, sweet, Hayate! At least you gave her a happy ending. _

Thanks, read you next time.
Nanya chapter 1 . 8/27/2010
Poor Hayate. :( Makes me sad. Even if things got better, it still is saddening for her past.

Poor girl. She deserves happiness. *nods*

Go get Yuuno, Hayate! :D
SFace chapter 1 . 8/26/2010
I like it, the buildup and the hopeful ending.

Hope to see more of your works soon
hignum chapter 1 . 8/25/2010
very nice tho i wud like to say that Signum wud have understood Hayate's pain because Signum, as a former program of the book of darkness most likely went thru most of what Hayate went thru and wud probably understand the evils of the world... Signum cud have helped Hayate as well. just my thought is all but other than that, you wrote this story very well and i will most definitely add this to my faves.
Megaolix chapter 1 . 8/25/2010
...

I think I'll go reread Three's Company. That's the ideal medecine for that sudden depression I just got. Even with the nice ending, it's not like we can just feel like 'everything is over, all is well and happy'.