|Reviews for Twisted Logic|
| Adimari chapter 23 . 4/2
Hey, I just found your story because it's one of the most reviewed one on with James II as a main character.
I like your story. In think, however, that it should be like 10 chapters shorter.
You're avoiding many clichés except :
- the discussion with friends only revolving about her love life (or Morgan's). Seriously, don't they share other common interests ? What did they talk about, before puberty came ?
- the interrupting. Every time something between James and Abigail happened, they get interrupted. I understand it can happen like once or twice, but in this story it's to the point it's not realistic anymore. It's like the 20th time they get interrupted.
I like romantic stories with obstacles, and I think that friends interruptions (in this chapter, Neville and McGonnagal again) are just an easy way for an author to add minor obstacles. But, unlike other obstacles, it has no point other than keeping the tension and the story a little bit longer.
And while overcoming some obstacles can be hard and fun (family, hate, prejudice, fear, bad guy trying to destroy the world), the plot "James and Aby wanna kiss but Neville and family keep interrupting" can't go on for ten chapters.
It's sad, because they are other obstacles in your story that aren't used to their full potential. You can use Aby' father to show how it affects her relationships, maybe that she's afraid that people will leave her, that it is hard for her to trust someone to stay, and explain why she can't be with someone at the moment. But we don't see that chain of thoughts, so that is a missed opportunity in my opinion.
I hope my review doesn't sound too harsh or anything, because like I said, I really like your story, and according to the reviews you had I'm not the only one. I don't know if you'll read this review, because the story is three years old now, but voilà, that was just my opinion and I don't mean to offend anyone.
Anyways, congratulations for your story :)
| KarLawrence chapter 4 . 3/28
Why couldn't she just say sorry for spilling the cocoa on James? I mean... It is kind of her fault..?
| Chloroforme chapter 28 . 3/9
Hello! It was amazing! I started reading 4 hours ago and just finished it. I couldn't stop reading, it is great. I really like every character, but Abigail is the best. And James and she were so cute! Thank you very much, it is a fantastic story, and I hope there will be a sequel ( on this profile ?).
| Moonlily22 chapter 28 . 1/10
Wow. I loved this story! So cute and refreshing. Very well written.
| Guest chapter 28 . 12/3/2014
Oh my gosh. OH. MY. GOSH. I LOVED this. I hated, and I loved, and I almost cried. Thank you for this.
| Guest chapter 7 . 6/25/2014
I'll have you know I'm one of those kids mentioned at first and we do not creep on kids, we tend to creep them out so they leave us alone.
| abuu chapter 28 . 1/22/2014
Please write a sequel! Some of the best writing on this site.
| wisegirl1800 chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
*groans* I looked and I didn't see a sequel. I don't know how I'll survive.
| wisegirl1800 chapter 28 . 1/22/2014
*applause* I look forward to reading this sequel.
| Guest chapter 18 . 1/19/2014
I'd love to read a Fred/Morgan spin off written by you...That moment between them in Chapter 18 was so beautiful...
| Sophia Alice Rosalie Potter chapter 28 . 8/30/2013
Definitely the best James Sirius Potter oc story I've ever read :D
| Crimson-owl chapter 23 . 6/15/2013
Some stories are like a like you are travelling with the characters as the story was a story like that.
P.S. I might have started to love James Potter II more than James Potter I after reading your story. He's adorable.
| Guest chapter 28 . 5/27/2013
please please PLEASE post the update ASAP! This is my favourite story and I loved it, I want to see more of my favourite characters :D
| tonks-hp7 chapter 28 . 5/18/2013
I'm not normally a fan of next generation fan fics but I absolutely loved this one, just from reading the summary it drew me in! i loved it!
| RDallas chapter 28 . 4/10/2013
I loved this story so much! Thank you for writing and posting it! I was so curious about what would happen that i couldn't sotp reading it haha. And you know, I love James and it's hard to found good stories about him, so thanks :)