|Reviews for The Ranger's War|
| am80951 chapter 10 . 9/22/2010
Dislocated shoulders really do suck. :P
The whole /\ . /\. /\. /\. /\. /\. thing for time/viewpoint changes was a little distracting, but overall it was a good chapter to add onto. :)
| Rydd Rider chapter 10 . 9/22/2010
Good chapter. I liked it. I really appreciate how you censor curse words in a way that still shows the characters' character but still keeps the story clean. _ I don't think any other story does that. Keep up the excellent writing!
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 9 . 9/21/2010
I couldn't review this chapter, I was so caught up in it! Please, tell me there will be more!
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 8 . 9/21/2010
Sorry, I must be irritating you with this continual note making of typos. If you are at all annoyed by this, feel free to tell me so.
"...rather like a dust storm, like the one in Arrida,..
Need quotation mark at the end.
"...Tired horses to gallop. The..."
Needs 'y' at the end of 'the'.
"The clutched with trembling hands..." I think 'third' needs to be inserted here.
"the three rangers position.." Needs a possession mark thingy (I forget the name) Between 'ranger' and 's'.
"waited a heartbeat before half running.." Needs a comma before 'half'.
WHAT! HALT KILLED ABELARD! WHAT KIND OF A DEPRESSING !&$($&* () &( PLOT TWIST IS THIS? NOOOOOOOO! ABELARD CAN'T DIEEEEEEE!
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 7 . 9/21/2010
A few suggestions:
"Halt reached for his bow, he had decided." Try putting a semicolon there, to make it more clear. "..for his bow; he had decided."
The fake ranger was too close to the camp, there was...
Try a period between 'camp' and 'there'. Otherwise it looks like a run-on sentence.
I liked the fourth paragraph. "only one thing stopped him from SHOOING." I'm glad he didn't shoo. LOL
comma between 'hood' and 'revealing'.
Good job. This chapter ended with much more suspense than several of those previous. I hadn't even HEARD of Celtica before!
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 6 . 9/21/2010
Again, well done! You missed a quotation mark at the beginning of the "We still know that he sent spies.." sentence, but besides that, I didn't see any other typos, or anything that could be improved a whole lot. Thanks for editing the bad words. I don't mind knowing they're there, because that's realistic, but I'd rather not have to read them. I liked the password. Do you do any dancing from which came the inspiration for that password?
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
When Halt is insulting Braedon, He says "know attacking.." It should be "now attacking"
He angrily fought the guard, and emotion welling.." Probably "welled" would be better.
Cool "cliffie" as you say. Are you going to explain how the king got killed? That would be really sad. I like, excuse me, liked Duncan.
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
Ok, There are just a few suggestions. First paragraph"Halt FELL strangely..." should be "Halt felt"
Fifth paragraph "Until he decided to escape, that is." You should probably put,"that WAS", since this is all in the past tense, and is is present.
Ninth paragraph" Halt had fallen to many times he had lost count"
"so" would probably be better than "to", or you could put," too many times to count."
seventeenth paragraph "If Braedon was training a whole group OR rangers.." "of rangers.."
Hibernian is ancient Roman for Ireland. From what I could research, in Old Enlish it means "Son of Bradden from the wide(or dark) valley. In Irish it means "Salmon", or "Son of Salmon". I'd stick with the English version.
| Ad Gloriam Dei chapter 2 . 9/20/2010
Yes! This is exactly what fan fiction should be! Intriguing, heart pounding, and very cool. Bits of it are still a little rough in places ( Talking about the leader"Especially IN since", the in doesn't really belong), but all in all, very interesting storyline, very well written.
| xxDodo chapter 9 . 9/15/2010
Yes! That was for Abelard! *fist pump* Kay, with that outta the way, I wouldn't have stopped reading if you'd killed Halt (it's that good), but I am glad you did't. :)
I only found two mistakes though: When you said Halt threw his knife at Braedon, later in the same chapter you then wrote that the arrow flew over his head...I think you meant knife though. And in the second line "seen" should be "scene".
This story is still AMAZING! It's a really cool idea and I wanna see another speedy update pretty please with Halt on top!
Halt: But I'm dead
Me: NOOOOO, storm only made it seem like that so the drama would add up, but Will and Aileen think you're dead so we can witness Will's upsetness while you get up to your strange tricks and save the day so everybody believes you're alive again. Kay?
Woah, that was loooong! See how much I want you to update?
| Rydd Rider chapter 9 . 9/15/2010
I don't mind you hurting Halt, since you didn't kill him _ I still think it's mean, but he's alive so who am I to complain? Love the story lots, update soon, is Halt going to do something crazy while incognito and left for dead by everyone? Hee hee, this is going to be AMAZING and I'm probably liking the characters' pain too much... Call me a sadist. You're right. Love it!
| runningcrazy4EVER chapter 9 . 9/15/2010
I really liked this chapter. I'm glad Halt was able to avenge Abelard. I'm also very happy you put in that note that Halt is not dead because other wise I would be very very sad. I wouldn't have flamed you, but when you read my review, tears would have gushed out of the computer. Halt dead bad. Halt hurt good fun and a great read :)
| SirWalsingham chapter 9 . 9/15/2010
I would not have stopped reading your story if you hadn't said you killed Halt. I regret that you have said it.
BUT: Great story. I always like it when I see that there is an new chapter. It's very nice that there are frequently new chapters.
| am80951 chapter 9 . 9/14/2010
Ahh, I so got super sad when I thought Halt was going to die. :(
But then I read your footnote and was relieved. YAAAAY!
| horseislove chapter 8 . 9/14/2010
good job. i understand why abelard had to die, but that doesn't mean i have to like it. i do like your story though-it's an original twist on a good idea.